west side, ashtray; season one

32

valerie

--

'this... or this?' maddy asked, placing two dresses up towards her. 'hm, second one but both look so good.' i responded, checking the time every now and then.

i was already dressed but all i needed to do was brush my hair and apply some blush and mascara. i watched as maddy rummaged through her closet complaining about not having anything to go with but had two beautiful dresses on her bed.

'ok, ok i think this one,' she said as she backed up from her closet and going back to the dresses on her bed. i nodded in response and smiled at her.

--

'what if these are like, the big moments in life? like, my mom always talks about how high school was like this big, monumental part of her life but i cannot imagine being 40 and looking back at this, and say 'wow'.' cassie breathed, fixating her eyes on whatever was in front of her. 'yeah but thats because most people peak in high school.' maddy commented, pretty much doing the same as cassie.

'not many people have even peaked yet,' i interrupted, 'yeah, im definitely at like, 25 percent peakness.' cassie commented, slumping back into her chair.

'i feel like im at 100 but i can definitely get to 150,' jules agreed, looking over at rue who started to open her mouth to speak.

'honestly, i never thought i would make it this far.' rue announced, looking over at me. 'wait, what do you mean?' cassie asked.

'i don't know. i just always had like, this overwhelming anxiety that something bad would happen.' rue told and i couldn't agree more.

'in all fairness, last summer there were like, three weeks where i thought you were dead.' maddy said chiming in. 'ok but shes been sober for like, three months now.' jules announced with a smile like she was the one sober.

i was honestly jealous of jules and rues friendship. well relationship, technically.

i pushed rue gently and smiled at her, whispering a 'well done' only rue could hear. 'weren't you in rehab like, six months ago?' maddy asked.

rue looked over at her and laughed awkwardly, giving a small smile. 'uhm, yeah.' she said.

i felt bad for her but what could i say? good for her though, she's trying now and that's all that matters. hope she stays sober.

'ah, i'll be back in a second.' i announced, picking myself off the chair and grabbing my phone off the table before dashing towards the exit.

i finally left the large hall, sweaty air lingering away from me as i sat on the front stairs with my back to the hall.

i sighed and unlocked my phone.

me
hey
sent 7:32

i looked up at my now dimming phone, watching the cars from afar, trying to spot a familiar black one.

who was i kidding, why would they come pick me up randomly?

as much as i doubted myself, i still really wanted them to come.

i wasn't best with large gatherings like this, or parties in general. i never minded them but just wasn't for me i guess.

ashtray
hey
hru?

me
im alright thanks
you?

ashtray
im good
how's that prom shit goin?

me
it's dead but other than that it's ok ig
are you busy rn?
i was thinking if you could pick me up
ion really like it tbh

ashtray
nah ma
u only get this once in yo life
but ion mind picking u up if u really want to

me
please
i'll literally pay

ashtray
ion need ur money but im omw
seen 7:40

i smiled down at my phone before i heard the door opening.

nate walked towards me, looking down at me. i felt his eyes run all over me, his breathing slow.

'valerie.' he got out, smirking as i looked up at him, still on the floor. i picked myself up and wiped down my dress. 'nate.' i responded.

'how's fezco,' he taunted, laughing lowly.

i felt my heartbeat pause for a second as i looked into his eyes. 'why do i feel like you're the reason fezcos house got raided?' i asked.

'you know that sometimes, when you do illegal shit, bad things happen to you.' he shrugged, straightening his position.

'and you've never done anything illegal, nate?' i asked. he turned his head from me and looked straight ahead.

'you're talking about your friends right? rue and jules?' he questions, not taking his eyes off the road.

'no. actually, im taking about your dad.' i said, hesitantly. it was definitely not my place to say but i had to.

he slowly turned his head, his nonchalant expression becoming an ashamed and somehow amused one.

'i just want to make sure you've given it some forethought. i know you just joined the school, acting all tough and shit. but in reality, you're hanging out with people who don't even have half a brain cell and you most likely don't have half of one too, so, i wouldn't want you saying anything you might regret.'

'what are you gonna do? you gonna ruin my life? i fucking promise you i can do that a lot better than you can.' i snarled which made him scoff.

'what do you want, valerie?' he asked.

'i want you to leave fezco and ash alone. i want you to leave jules and rue alone. and i want you to leave maddy alone. if you ever fuck with them again, i'll destroy your life. i'll destroy your dads life. i'll fucking burn your whole shit to the ground, because i, personally have no problem walking into any police station and telling them that nate
jacobs daddy likes to fuck little kids.' i grinned.

his face dropped completely and his head hung low.

'uh, you look pretty tonight.' he ended, acting like we weren't talking about how his own father, skin and blood, is a paedophile.

'uhm, i mean it, you look really beautiful.' he said before turning back and walking into the hall.

i heaved and turned my attention back onto the road, darting my eyes between cars, hoping ash would arrive soon.

1037 words