Queer Boys

Ch. 10: Awkward but not

We just stood in awkward silence for a moment after Ezra interrupted my profuse apologies with a quick "I'm fine", and simply went to the bathroom, probably to check if his nose was broken. Now I'm back downstairs, sitting at his kitchen counter and staring at the same stupid math problem while my mind replays what had happened. 

Maybe if he wasn't so unapproachable, I wouldn't have been so flustered and used that ridiculous bathroom excuse. Then maybe we wouldn't have had that whole stumble and fall thing happen in the first place. I nod slightly as I try to convince myself then slowly shake my head; Maybe I shouldn't have gotten so flustered in the first place. I mean, what's there to get flustered about? He's certainly not sweet and kind Haneul. No..he has that rough but sort of sincere personality. A-and when he leaned over, he didn't really smell like Haneul, not like a sweet, citrus scent, more like a woodsy, clean aroma... 

"Honestly, he did smell pretty great..." I mumble softly to myself.

"Who smelled great?" Ezra asked. 

My head snaps to him as my eyes widen in surprise, "Um...nothing! No one...I mean, my um squishmallow." I inwardly cringe from what I said but begin my rambling yet again, my words acting like a shovel digging my grave of embarrassment. "See, it's a huge panda that's like limited edition that I found at the Squishmallow store. It has this really cool galaxy design and smells like cotton candy so-"

My ridiculous rambling is cut off as he suddenly burst into laughter, leaving me shocked and for once, speechless. This would have to be the first in a long time that I'd seen him smile, much less laugh. When was it? Ah, middle school. It was seventh grade; we were playing some sort of video game and I was helping him in a ranked match. We needed to win one more match and we would be able to rank up to diamond, the highest we've ever gotten. When we won, we just stared at each other for a moment, speechless as I am now, then Ezra put on the biggest grin I've ever seen him make. He dramatically dropped his controller and simply punched my shoulder. I punched him back, naturally, causing him to laugh which made me laugh in turn until we were out of breath from laughing so much. 

I sat there, watching Ezra laugh in disbelief for a second before I unintentionally start laughing as well. 

"What's so funny about Chris the Panda?" I jokingly say as I try to stop laughing. 

"Oh, so it has a name now?" Ezra answers, wiping tears from his eyes as he sits next to me.

"Well of course, I always name my beloved squishmallows." I say in a matter-of-fact manner.

He smirked before looking down at my math book, reminding me that we're actually supposed to be studying, my smile quickly melting away. I guess he notices because he suddenly closed the book and took it and plopped it in my backpack, standing up with it in his hand. "Why don't we take a break from this and continue, say..tomorrow? You seem to be getting worn out from the work."

I nod and reach my hand out to grab my bag when he gently pulls it toward him, pulling me along with it as I grab it. "You know," he said in his low yet melodic voice, "You should bring Chris the Panda over sometime." He lets go of the bag and smirks heading towards the door. I numbly follow, struggling to keep my face from transforming into a tomato. I hug my backpack towards my chest and step outside as Ezra holds the door open for me. I turn around and sigh softly, "Well..um tomorrow sounds great. And um I might bring him sometime..Chris the Panda I mean. You can make acquaintances or something." My face starts to flush as I make a total fool of myself, as per usual. 

He chuckles lightly and nods, "Yeah, looking forward to seeing him sometime. Oh, you want me to walk you home or nah?" 

"Oh, it's alright, not that late to walk since the session ended earlier than expected." I smile, still attempting to hide the deep blush slowly creeping up to my cheeks. 

He shrugs and nods, "Alright, well expect a text for the time of our session tomorrow, and..get home safe."

I nod, not trusting myself to speak right now and start walking home, which isn't very far from his. As I see my house coming up from the slight hill it rests on, I think to myself, don't start liking this dude, it's going to be a disaster. Just. Don't.

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Hey guys, it's been a while, right? Well, life's been pretty rough lately, mainly school honestly but whoever is reading this, just know that you're a real one for sticking by this story. I plan on working on it and trying to be more consistent with my updates, wish me luck and love you!! 💜💜💜