... REDO

16

Bonnie too went home and jumped in the shower. She had a lot of sweat and perfume/cologne and crap from other people on her and felt kinda gross. Once she was in bed after that though, sleep wasn't the top thing on her mind. She let her mind fall into the remembrances of the night. Particularly dancing with Damon and the feel of his erection against her and his hands on her body. She reveled in the memory which was so much clearer as a vampire than it would have been as a human. She could almost still feel him there as she brought herself to release, breathing out his name as her orgasm washed over her. She knew from hearing people talk that sex was so much better as a vampire, but she had yet to experience it. She'd noticed Damon taking to dark corners over the course of the night with various women, but the fact that she had been wearing pants made that not an option for her. Even if she would have anyway which she wouldn't. She wanted Damon to be her first like this. And preferably her only. And she wouldn't have wanted their first time as a quickie in a dark corner of a club anyway. Other times sure, but not their first. And not her first as a vampire.

Bonnie hoped that tonight was a breakthrough. That Damon would start to see her in a romantic light. That the break with Elena would stick this time and she could worm her way into that spot before he went running back like he had in her future to let Elena walk all over him again and again. The future him had said that all she had to do was accept him and fight for him. Like he would have gladly taken any other option for love and happiness. She didn't worry about him only wanting her as the only option. Even if that was how it started. If he'd fallen in love with her in the future despite everything, he could fall for her here as more than just 'the only option', and she didn't doubt that he'd loved her in the future. To even go as far as he had and admit as much as he had, there was nothing else that could have taken him there in his circumstances. He'd wanted her to love him here. To find those feelings before it was too late. She was making progress she thought. With any luck it would come to fruition soon. She fell asleep to dreams about a happy future with Damon.

The next morning, Damon was sitting with a drink and wondering if Bonnie would show up. If he could actually let himself hope for more. For something real. When he heard her car, a smile twitched onto his face as he downed the rest of his drink and went out to meet her. Seeing her again, after last night, and the fact that he was actually letting himself consider her that way was like being beat over the head with a mallet. He'd been trying not to let himself fall until he had more answers, but he'd never been very good at holding his emotions back even before they'd been cranked up as a vampire. It was like as soon as he took down that mental block it all came flooding in. Yes, he definitely loved her. He just hoped that he wouldn't end up heartbroken yet again. First though they had work to do. He pushed it all aside to get to the sparring. And if he was a little more playful and held her a little longer in the holds and enjoyed the pinning a little more than usual oh well.

Bonnie definitely noticed the difference in his demeanor and fell into it just as easily, enjoying every opportunity for closeness just as much as he seemed to be. When they called it quits at their normal time and went in for a drink and to talk as they did more often than not, she found herself surprised by his question. "Why did you never talk to me about being a vampire first? Or ask for my help and advice with more aspects of it?"

"Because I know how people around here tend to blame you for everything. If I had even brought up the subject with you, they would have accused you of manipulating me into it somehow. I wanted your hands to be completely clean," Bonnie told him. She hadn't even realized that had been bothering him. "As far as not asking you for help with more things, I didn't want you to feel put on the spot. Like you /had/ to help me. Especially since you grumbled about 'handholding another newbie' as soon as you found out I turned."

Damon swirled his drink in his hand, looking at it instead of her as he turned that over in his head. It did make sense and he would have been irritated and felt manipulated into helping her if it had seemed like it was expected of him. He wasn't immune to the damned if you do, damned if you don't, feelings. He'd been hurt not to be included, but would have been annoyed if he'd been expected to help. There was a rather fine line in the middle there and he couldn't exactly blame her for not finding it. Especially since she didn't even know she needed to look for it. "You can really accept me? Just the way I am? No trying to change me or control me or make me a better person?"

Bonnie could hear the hint of vulnerability in his voice that he was trying to hide and she knew that this was her chance. Sure she could take the friend stance and he would probably be overjoyed just to have a friend that accepted him that way, and if she really was eighteen and/or didn't have the future knowledge of him she probably would have just to avoid potential rejection if nothing else. But this was her chance to push beyond friends. To give him her heart. She shifted closer to him on the couch and reached out to his hand. "You don't need to change for anyone, Damon. You don't need to be controlled. You are who you are and I'm good with that. Really."

Damon tried to keep his breathing steady as he turned his hand in hers and threaded their fingers together and looked up at her for the first time, meeting her eyes and getting lost there. "I'm broken, Bon. In ways that will probably never be fixed." He needed her to know that going in. That if she was hoping to fix him, even gently and the 'right' way, it wouldn't work.

"It's okay to be broken, Damon," she said softly, bowled over by the warring hope and fear she could see swirling in his eyes. "Those broken bits are still part of you," she reached her free hand to his cheek and his eyes fluttered closed as he leaned into the touch and that gave her the courage to go the rest of the way. Even if he wasn't there yet, he wouldn't run. He wasn't like most men. If anything it would make him more likely to lean in. To try and catch up. It would give him the hope he needed to let himself. "I love you, Damon," she whispered, so softly that only vampire ears would be able to hear it.

Damon's breath hitched and he swallowed heavily, letting his forehead lean against hers as he absentmindedly set his drink on the table, freeing his other hand. "Bonnie...please...if you have any mercy at all...don't tell me that unless you really mean it."

Bonnie pulled back and shifted so that he would be looking in her eyes even with his head slightly bowed as it was and her thumb traced his cheekbone, getting him to open his eyes. She let all the love she felt for him show there as she said again, with as much confidence as she could muster, "I love you, Damon." The next thing she knew his lips were on hers and she kissed him back with just as much tender devotion as he was giving her. She was completely overwhelmed by the sensations, emotional and physical, and didn't even try to hold back. She just fell into it and let herself experience it fully.

If Damon could have doubted her words, he couldn't doubt this. The way she completely surrendered to her emotions and poured them into the kiss. His arm wrapped around the small of her back as he pulled her closer and she all but fell into his arms. He realized in that moment that he'd had no idea what love was before. What he'd felt for Katherine or Elena didn't hold a candle to this. This was everything. Everything he'd spent his whole life longing for. Everything he would ever need. When their lips broke, he didn't go far as he whispered back, "I love you, Bon." That time it was Bonnie initiating the kiss before they'd even caught their breath from the last one and he wasn't complaining in the slightest.