The Heart Wants What It Wants - A 5 Seconds Of Summer fanfic

Chapter 14: Alexa's PoV

Alexa's POV:

"Alexa, honey I want to come straight home after school." My mother says, as she sets my plate in front of me.

"I have to work right after classes remember?" I explain, "I picked up extra hours today."

"Oh, okay." She replies, "Just don't talk to those girls or boys."

"Yes mom." I agreed. My parents no longer wanted me to talk to Ashton, Musa or any of the others. They swore up and down they were horrible influences on me.

"I didn't like that Ashton kid one bit when he was here." My Dad says. "Creating a band. Music is not a real career."

"Yes. Alexa these music classes are just hobbies right?" My mom asks. "You're too smart and too good to try to be in that nonsense." I just nodded, as I picked at my eggs, losing my appetite the more they droned on.

"Can I be excused?" I ask, "I just remembered I need to pick something up for a project we're doing in class today."

"Hmm..go on honey." Mom replies, after a pause. "Just next time don't wait so last minute."

"Yes mom, sorry mom." I say as I get up and grab my things. Once I'm out of site of my house I pull over and cry. I didn't agree with my parents and I missed my friends terribly. I couldn't pay for my car and classes alone, and if I didn't do what my parents asked they'd stop helping me pay for things.

Fifteen minutes later I pulled into the college parking lot. I checked the mirror to make sure I no longer looked like I had been crying. I spotted my friends a few lanes down, staring at me, I ignored them as I walked into the building.

My first class was with Musa and Emma. I had to sit near them since on the first day of school we had all sat together. Musa gave a small smile, but I turned away and started talking to Melissa. I can't help, but to listen to Emma and Musa's conversation though, glancing out the corner of my eye from time to time.

"Really you shouldn't make a big deal of my birthday this weekend." I hear Musa say.

"After everything that has happened, we need something to celebrate." Emma insists, "plus Micheal wants it to be the best you've ever had."

"He's acting like it's the only one he'll ever celebrate with me though."

"Ooh, next there'll be a marriage." Emma laughs.

"What about you and Luke?" I notice Emma turn a deep red and both start giggling. They both notice me watching,and seem ready to say something, but stop. The teacher finally comes in, and everyone falls silent.

I tried to pay attention to the lesson, but my thoughts kept drifting away. Musa and Emma hadn't mentioned Ashton, I wanted to know if he was doing any better. I knew he had been hurting when I told him I could no longer see him. We had gotten close to each other, but not that close right? We weren't that hung up on each other, we couldn't be. If we couldn't be then why were my thoughts always on him?

The bell rang and I was startled from my thoughts into reality. I walk out the door, and run straight into Ashton. "I'm sorry." I quietly say, looking away.

"It's okay." He says, "How are you?"

"I'm good." I reply. "You?"

"I miss you." He whispers so low I almost thought I imagined it. "Alexa I can help. I hate this." He grabs my hand and I look up at him.

"Ashton please don't." I say, pulling away from him. "I can't do this. I'm sorry." I turn from him, and hastily walk down the hall to my next class. I glance back before turning the corner, and see him staring after me. The saddest look on his face, the others standing a little ways behind him.

I did my best the rest of the day to try to ignore them and my feelings. After classes and work I sat in my room staring at the little bit of homework I had. My parents and I had argued again after I'd gotten home from work.

"Musa's birthday is this weekend." I said as I walked into the living room. "May I go?"

"Alexa honey did we not already have this discussion?" Mom replies.

"But-"

"No buts Alexa." Dad cuts me off.

"They have been the best friends in the world to me."

"Alexa, this is what we meant." Mom says, "You have never argued with us before like this."

"I have disagreed with you guys plenty of times."

"Alexa, you're not going. It's that simple." Dad says, "Do not mention the party or them again." I ran to my room and slammed my door, like a little child. That had been over an hour ago, and I still sat here unable to do my assignments.

I finally gave up and laid across my bed. I missed Ashton, and the girls. I could always sneak around and hang out with them, but then I'd be lying to my parents. I started crying into my pillows, unable to hold it back anymore. I knew my heart would never get what it wanted, I was too scared to be anyone but who my parents wanted me to be.