One Way Ticket to Brazil (2018)

CHAPTER 3: Do not skip steps - The Daime

When I was 10 years old, a baby-sitter told me: "Curiosity is a very bad flaw". I felt really anxious for a second. But then I thought: "this is the most stupid thing I have ever heard". Curiosity led me to an Ayahuasca ritual in Arraial d'Ajuda, Brazil. I could doubt it was a good idea. One thing I believe at least, is that you should not skip steps to get there before your own time.

***

Strong, vivid visions behind my close eyelids woke me up. A chaos on a black background, confused with the sudden palpitation on my frightened heart. It was her. A wild, salvage entity. I could feel her presence inside of me. Her motion, wave-like, such as a snake, or a liana. Her power. Her cruel personality.

I opened my eyes. It stopped. I pushed my palms onto my towel to sit.

What happened? I was asleep... Did I sleep? I couldn't remember. When had I fallen asleep? 3:00. When had I drank the Daim? 23:00... Then 00:00... Yes, this is what happened. Then I talked to Scorpio. Told her nothing was going to happen. And then... I fell asleep. Yes, now I could remember, this what happened. Everybody had had their trips few minutes after drinking. I had nothing. Thought She wouldn't take me.

I glanced at the grass around me. The herbs were apple-green tiny snakes, standing straight, staring at me with their black little eyes, waving from left to right and from right to left. Everything around was in motion. Snaky motion. She was everywhere.

I closed my eyes. Back into this chaos of black, and sounds, and vivid colors, and furious heartbeat. She waited. She took me when she wanted to take me. I didn't need to take a second cup. It wasn't about quantity. The plant didn't want to meet me before that time: She decides the right time. Now She would do just whatever she wants with me. Her furious presence was whipping me, slapping me in the face, knocking me down. Flee! Open your eyes!

Opened my eyes. Looked up at the tree above the fire place. A very tall tree full of large leaves. A uniform forest green color. Its foliage became perfectly organized into circular and hexagonal shapes perfectly embedded one into another. Oh! That's what they told me about in my Yoga Teacher Training and in The Silvestre dance training... So THAT is sacred geometry! I'm seeing it! ... The foliage suddenly turned into a huge, pure, clean, shiny white mandala with bright, gleaming pink outlines. Beautiful.

Close your eyes, She said. No, I want to see this. I don't want to go back there. Close your eyes, insisted the plant, you're tired.

I laid down on my towel, unable to resist somnolence. My eyelids shut. Chaos. Sharp colors and sounds on a black background. Who was She? Was she some kind of black spirit? An entity from lower energies or spaces? I remembered the Shamans prayer. Archangel Michael in front to defend me. Archangel Michael behind to protect me. Archangel Michael on my left and right to accompany me. She took me when she wanted. She could take me anytime now. She would come back anytime I would close my eyes from this day on. Archangel Michael in front to defend me. Archangel Michael behind to protect me. Archangel Michael on my left and right to accompany me.

I pushed into the ground, sat up, back into the regular grey of my regular world. Feeling dizzy. My throat was very dry. My bottle of water was few inches away, just next to my towel. I could reach it. I should just sit up straighter and stretch my arm. I could do it. Just a tiny more effort. I caught it. Feverishly unscrewed the cork, brought the bottle to my lips, took a sip of water, screwed it back up, drop it next to the towel in a last effort.

I gazed at the forest outside the sacred circle, not knowing what would happen next. I had been continuously shifting from a dimension to another – my grey world, the 3D world embellished with hallucinations and the Plant's chaos, fighting my mental. I had totally lost control over time and my body. Shifting dimensions was wearing me out. I couldn't take this much longer. I was scared to go back in, with the Plant. Archangel Michael in front to defend me. Archangel Michael behind to protect me. Archangel Michael on my left and right to accompany me. The leaves of the trees became very black on a very dark blue sky. The leaves were shaped as monkeys. Those were like the beautiful paints I had seen from the street artists in Pelourinho!