A Monstrous Mistake

Prologue

Prologue

"You know you can't force yourself to like someone, idiot!" Sermon sakin ni Hannah—my bestfriend.

"I know but he's kinda good naman nung na-meet ko" I fight her opinion.

She rolled her eyes at me sabay salanpak ng nachos sa bunganga.

"Ang sabihin mo hindi ka lang talaga naka-disagree sa magulang mong ubod ng sama" Aniya habang may nginunguya pa rin sa bibig niya.

Pinandilatan ko siya ng mata. May mangilan-ngilan na bodyguard sa paligid at baka marinig itong si Hannah over there. Baka palayuin din ako ng Papa sa kanya. He better not!

"Okay sorry but not really sorry for them " Sinundan nya ng bulong ang sinabi nya na narinig ko rin naman kaya mahina ko siyang tinapik.

"Watch!"

After the switch opinion earlier we decided to pass by a clothing store. Pagkapasok ay nasilayan ko nanaman ang sexy dress na gustong kong bilhin at suotin if may occasion but my parents not letting me to do so. Mama said I should conserve myself for the man I will marry in the near future. As if they're letting me to get married, yikes!

"You like that, Ruru?" Napatanong si Hannah.

Siguro ay napansin niyang kanina ko pa iniinspeksyon ang damit na ito. Checking the fabric that was used at ang masasabi ko ay pure cotton pero maganda ang pagkakahulma sa damit and whoever buys and penetrates it sure ako na babagay sa kanya.

Mahahalata ba ni Hannah if somehow I lied? I don't think so.

"Nope. I don't like the fabric that was used to sew it. Feeling ko mainit sa katawan 'yan kaya let's go sa iba pang section" Anyaya ko sa kanya.

At first she seems not to bite at my lies pero nang hilahin ko siya papalayo sa damit na yon ay nagpatianod naman sya at kinagat na ang kasinungalingan ko.

I actually want to buy it lalo na yung fabric na ginamit. I'm sure that would fit my skin tone and the curve of my body pero sadyang ayaw talaga ako pagsuotin ng parents ko ng mga ganon.

I just ended up buying a sleeveless dress na lagpas tuhod ang haba. It was a floral mint dress na bumagay naman sa skin tone ko kaya lang mas pabor pa rin talaga ako sa kada pasyal ko dito ay iyon ang bubungad sakin na damit.

Pagkatapos mamili ay nilapitan kami ng isa sa bodyguard ko at sinabing hinahanap na raw ako ng Papa sa bahay. I can't argue with that. Pinalayo ko na uli ang bodyguard at sinabing magpapaalam lang ako sa kasama ko na siyang sinang-ayunan nito.

I hate the fact na hawak-hawak pa rin ako ng magulang ko sa leeg even I'm a 20 years of old and soon to be at my 21. I feel so caged for over 20 years and now madadagdagan nanaman ng isang taon.

Lumingon ako kay Hannah to bid goodbye. She look at me with some pity drawn at her face and I literally hate the fact na kinakaawaan ako.

"Just call me when you got home safe and sound, Ruru" Then I wave my hands to give her the signal.

Sinundan ako ng mga bodyguard nang naglalakad na'ko palabas ng mall at inalalayan ako hanggang sa makapasok ako ng kotse. Akmang tutulungan pa ako ng isa sa bodyguard to fasten my seatbelt when I stop them for the 9th times.

For pete's sake! I'm 20 years of age then still my parents still try to take care of me like I'm a fucking toddler! I can even walk, stand, run and even kill if I wanted to. Tanggap naman daw nila if magkaron ako ng kasintahan. They're the ones who planned all those blind dates na ang tanging gawin ko lang ay umattend nang umattend even it was against myself. If hindi ko ksi sinunod I would be grounded for the whole day that's why I also learned how to obey them at any cost and try not to provoke father.

Buong byahe ay ang tanging ginawa ko lang ay ang matulala sa labas ng bintana ng kotse. I feel imprisoned. I don't even know what freedom feels like. Iyong tipo na ako naman ang makakapagdesisyon sa sarili ko. I could do exactly what I like without any limitations surrounding me. No one will ever dictate me of what I do and don't. Just be myself.

"SENYORA" Bati sakin ng pinakatiwalang katulong ng bahay.

I just silently nod and without looking at my surroundings dire-diretso akong umakyat ng hagdan at pumasok ng kwarto ko.

Everything inside of my room still done by dictate. My mother hired some house organizer to actually fix my room which is I thought atleast it could be my only privacy inside the house but still. In this family, no one has the right to have their own privacy as long as nasa iisang bahay kami.

I'm the youngest so sakin nakadepende ang imahe rin ng ama ko. Kasiraan ko, Kasiraan nya. Kasiraan nya, Kasiraan ng pamilya na 'to. That's why I take care of every action I do with or without someone guarding me dahil alam ko ang mundong ginagalawan ko. One mistake, it could cause a ruckus.

I admit that life gets toughter and toughter as life goes by that 's why you really need to trust on yourself on how you deal with it. I badly want to fight for my rights but who I am to repine when in the first place, they supply my needs financially or anything.

Pagkapasok ng kwarto ay nilock ko muna ito bago naisipan na banlawan ang sarili. I kinda feel sweat and sticky at hindi ako nakakatagal ng ganon. Sabihin na nating maarte ako but that's life I grew in. I grew up someone taking care of my personal hygiene hanggang sa sumapit ang 13th birthday ko and from that day on natuto nakong mag-alaga at mag-ayos sa sarili ko. And that's when I woke up from the reality of my world.

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Pardon for some typographical and grammatical error. I'm still improving my writing habbits:)

( laZzzpen )