Who am I

Chapter 1

I'm summer a15year old. Check that I'm summer a weird, ugly, depressed, antisocial 15 year old who barely has any friends except for Jake and Lilly. My mom loved the summer and decided to call me that, but I think that i need to change it, probably to Violet or Elizabeth. I just don't like my name It brings back to many memories and I'm trying to move on but how can I when so many things remind me of that place and everything in my past. I'm stuck between reality and the present and to be totally honest it sucks. I can't complain though, I know others have it worse and everyone is going through something and all this shit but how can I be happy when I feel so.......worthless...
My mom had me when she was 21 or something like that and since she was a good for nothing drunk I was stuck having depression and adhd. it's noting bad I just can't concentrate like a "normal" person and I am always constantly moving. Yep great mom right.
I have to get up...
I wish I can stay here forever but I know that's not possible. I need to meet jake at "Ice Cream mania". it's not a bad place, the ice creams amazing I just am nervous every time I talk to him. I hate it because I know he will never feel the same. who would like a nobody? He's everything I'm not. gorgeous light brown hair, warm welcoming green eyes that can make the world stop with every blink. muscles that can make anyone dro- ugh what am I doing he's my best friend I can't think about this. I know he didn't feel the same so why am I hurting myself further with all this. I get up and start getting ready. hair, clothes,a bit of makeup. I look out my room to see if my moms anywhere there. when the coast is clear I quietly rush to the door. "where are you going?" Damn not fast enough. why dose she even care where I go I always come back home. I don't think I would be able to run away, I might hurt them. I look at her and don't say anything, I realised being silence around her is best. "I asked you a question answer me when I'm talking to you!" I stare her dead in the eye and look at her, not moving still clutching the door handle. "I need to be at work by 6:30, I'm not dealing with you right now." she gives me one last glance and leaves without another word. I wish she'd just let me be she always gets upset when I leave because I'm not slaving away for her. she makes me do everything because her" leg and hand are hurting" she's already had surgeries in the past and the doctors said she's fine, I think she's just too lazy to do it herself. I look at her room and leave taking my bike.