Behind the sea (Ryan Ross/ Panic! At the Disco)

Info

(If you do not wanna read all of this, please at least read the disclaimer)

First off I'd just like to low-key apologies about how sucky I am at writing and how bad my procrastination is.
Any-who, this lack of updates is completely my fault and again I'm sorry and I hope you all can forgive me. I haven't updated in like 4 months so that's why the last chapter is 4 times as long.
Oops.

Also, little fun fact: just in case you weren't aware already, the other person writing this fic's (me) name is Rae.
Now before we move on LET ME TELL YOU HOW THIS WENT DOWN CHILDREN GATHER ROUND:
Alright so my dear friend Hannah (the original author and owner of this account) goes to the same school as I and we share a mutual friend group. So one day a bunch of our other loser friends in my classes (bc sadly we didn't have any classes together when she did this) started asking me if I had heard about Hannah's new fan fic. Now, I'm not a fan fic person really (I'm only helping write, I don't read bc i find it extremely uncomfortable and weird, but who am I to judge/talk,) so immediately I was all
"Great it's about Ryan Ross I can feel it."
Safe to say I know Hannah pretty well.
Anyway, word got to me about the fic before Hannah had he chance to tell me herself.
So then later that day she texts me and she's all "Hey, you should check out my fic!" And I'm all "Joy. I will but only bc you're my friend."
And so she sends me another text with the link to this story but she also tells me she used my name in that same message. Now, being the awful texter I am, I didn't bother to read the text before I tapped the link. So I think you can assume I was a little surprised to see my name, first thing in the description. I also didn't read the full text until looking back at the conversation a few days later so that shows you how awesome I am at communication.
Anyway, long story short, I offered to help with editing and other things and we discussed more of the plot than she had, (mainly bc this story started as an impulse at 4am) and I ended up being responsible for sorting out what we already had and adding onto it.
Like I said, I suck.
So now you're kinda in the loop and you can yell at me and hate me all you want. It's cool. I'll survive.

ALSO
DISCLAIMER: Hannah used my name for our lovely protagonist without telling me so I'm going to clear some things up before you even ask just in case:

-No, I do not live with an abusive alcoholic father. My parents are both alive, married happily, and great to me
-No, I do not look like our protagonist, Rae.
-No, I am not depressed nor do I self harm anymore. I do have some history but I've recovered now. Writing some of this is a little personal if you must know, and a lot of what Protag Rae thinks is based off of my own prior thoughts. Which brings me to this next point
-Yes, Protag Rae and I have practically the same personality. She's just in a different body with a different, certainly more tragic past and struggles with a lot more than I do currently.
-No, I am not in love with Ryan Ross. That's Hannah you're thinking of, not me.
-How do I write about a character who's awfully similar to me when I don't even like fanfiction and she's fictionally in love with a past version of a real ex-band-member that I don't have a crush on? I simply convince myself that they are all merely fictional characters in a story and that even if most of the characters just so happen to be carbon copies of real people, they. are. fictional.
To me anyway. I'm feel like I'm beating a dead horse or something but that's just how I get through it all.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
And lastly,
-If you relate to Protag Rae or feel similar about particular things that are more on the depressing side, please don't be afraid to reach out to me!
You can contact me through Hannah's account, but if you want to message me individually, send a message to this account requesting to talk to me on my personal account, mxlodyoftears . I'm typically on here so that'll most likely be the most efficient way to contact me.
I'm always here for you and I want to help you! Like I've said, I had the same train of thought as Protag Rae once but I was able to get through and fight it. I'm here for a talk if you ever need it but if that makes you uncomfortable please know the following
-you are very loved, wanted, important, and needed.
-things will always get better but recovery is not a quick thing. It takes time, but it's possible.
-please treat yourself, you rad little emo <3
-TALK TO PEOPLE WHEN YOU NEED TO OR ARE FEELING BAD!!
I cannot stress this one enough, because it took me forever to figure it out! I got in a bad place bc I didn't talk to anyone about how I was feeling. I'm here to listen bc you're feelings are important, but if you don't feel like talking to me, talk to someone you can trust.
Love you and stay safe while reading!

Alright before I end this may I ask one small favor??

PLEASE. GIVE. US. FEEDBACK!!
Comment! We love comments! Even if it's just a favorite, it will be greatly appreciated. We wanna know if this story is worth anyone's time and if you don't let us know it's kinda hard to keep writing.
So if you want more, tell us!!

Thank you very much!
-rae xx