Her Butterfly Effect

Level 1: Inside His Mind

He had never realised it before. He had never realised that he already had a place that kept all his secrets, that saw him cry during the nights, listened to him sing to himself, dance with himself, fall in love with himself, hate himself, wish that he had never been placed in this world, question himself, sleep by himself, but more importantly saw him wake up and re-invent himself, over and over again.

His true sanctuary. His bedroom.

Now you might not have been expecting that since, well, your bedroom is just a room of concrete, bricks and cardboard filled with nothing but your bed, your clothes, and if you're witty, posters of people who have no idea that you exist, but it was true.

He spent most of his time in his bedroom. Ever since he had entered high school there was no such thing as extra activities, "what do you do in your free time?" hobbies, and going out with friends. His world had become a cycle of work, stress, work and more stress. He never had a love story of his own and he was sure high school wouldn't change that especially seeing that the blue mouse in his mind was always busy running up and down that wheel that mice run on. Edgar was the name, Edgar because that sounded appropriate for a mouse. Did he even want a love story? After 15 years of being alive he was sure that love didn't truly exist. He had seen it. He had seen how children grew up and abandoned their moms, how a dad would leave his wife and children for his new mistress, how some mothers would be the mistress and how his friends would lie to girls about how she's the only one for them while talking to five other chicks if I may, yes, because you call the woman you love a baby chicken, chicken, animals who peck the ground looking for worms to eat, whos brain is smaller than the size of a hand, who most probably sleep in the same place they just excreted the crushed up worms. Besides, what would he know about the feeling of love? To him people who would physically cry for someone else not to leave them made him sick. He couldn't understand how you needed someone else to make you happy. In his mind women deserved to be treated like queens and if they couldn't see that, well then they were just stupid. Yes, a woman, one person who would bleed monthly to prepare for giving birth to an entire generation solely from the depth of her lower body and feed them from the depth within her upper body, who could not see her worth because she is allowing a five faced man to trample all over her with words that are probably being generated by a rat smoking rotten cheese in his brain. Pathetic. Don't get it wrong though, not all men have rats smoking rotten cheese in their brain and not all women were stupid.

During these years he had also made a mental checklist of the girl he would want to fall in love with, if she ever existed that is. She would be different, a girl who thinks like him, who's creative like him, loves to sing, dance , talk to him about his interests, who would go out of her way to do the small things for him just as he would for her, someone that knows her worth. Her looks didn't matter. Nobody was ugly in his mind. It's just that people have a difference in opinion about the way others look and the most simple explanation would be to just call them ugly. He also loved a girl with good feminine hygiene the way he tried to keep his masculinity in check. He wanted a girl who knew that it didn't matter what you wore, it was about how you carried yourself. She wouldn't get drunk every Friday or go to the club every other day to throw her problems away. She would face them head first until she overcame them. She would be quietly spiritual. She would be the type to put her family and her education first but would drop everything if he ever needed her just as he would for her. So why hadn't he found her yet? Would he ever?

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