everything, everything, everything

III

repeating episodes

waking up, my eyes are heavy
but everything was just right
the scorching sun feels good
people's smile on the road looks calming

the ambiance of the convenience store,
it's hugging me, bringing the vibe of independence
the sound of the coffee machine and radio
it's bringing me back to the past where it's cringe but happy

but i went back to my room
i felt the heat burning me
yells and complains from people gives me pressure
i close my eyes and let my bed carry my emotions

waking up, my heart is heavy
i was happy earlier
how did sorrow hit me in a sudden blow of the wind
my smile was carried away with the unknown

questions greeted me...
will tomorrow be the same?
when can I feel like myself without thinking of deadlines?
where else can I seek validation?

what's worse than being left?
maybe the way how you feel sudden sadness
without knowing why
not knowing how

it's just there.
staying.
sleeping with you.
waking up with you.
and repeat.