Behind The Mask

Chapter 1- Akari

It was the day. It was all I'd seen; all I'd thought about for the last month. The fear and the anxiety just wouldn't go away, no matter how much Auntie told me I'd be fine. It took 3 long years to get to where I'm at: Being a 16-year-old going to school for the first time. Ever since that day, I'd lived with my aunt; attending therapy, being home-schooled, strengthening my feminine-like body shape, and learning the violin- if only so that I could fulfill my mother's dying wish. I missed her, so often. But when I pulled out my violin, put the rosin on my bow, and played; it almost felt like she was there, right beside me, watching me grow. I had Auntie Eliza to thank for that, learning from a world champion violinist had it's perks.

She'd been my rock in the last 3 years- supporting me, helping me, giving me the tools to heal- but she never tried to replace my mother, who died from an "unknown substance" when I was 4. She'd been more of a parent than my scumbag father ever was and ever could have been. I hoped he'd rot for the rest of his life in the hell called prison. But I knew he'd only be in there for 23 more years. By the time that happened, I was going to make sure he stayed away from me and the people that I love.

And on that note, I shifted my mask that covers the lower half of my face and prepared my bag and brain for the day ahead. I grabbed my meds and put them in the pocket of my school pants, knowing that I would need to take them at some point during the day. I headed down to the kitchen and discovered Auntie's chef making choc-chip pancakes with vanilla ice-cream: my favourite. I didn't even need to ask why she was doing this. I already knew. As we sat down to eat together, we began to conversate about the day ahead.

"Are you excited?" She asked, "I know this is probably hard for you."

"A little," I responded, "I'm just worried that they won't accept me. That I'll just be the weird, new kid with the hidden face that nobody likes."

'And that they're just going to make a mockery out of me,' I added in my mind.

"Well, I spoke to the principal last night and he said that you have full permission to leave class at any time and go wonder the campus or visit the library."

"Maybe," I replied, "the bus is going to be here soon, I'll talk to you later."

I plugged my headphones and started listening to my music as I walked to the bus stop. I sat there for 5 minutes before the bus actually showed up. It already had multiple students from different schools on it, so I sat towards the back by myself, knowing that no one would want me to be sitting next to them. As I made my way towards my seat, I made note of all the students and they're reactions. Some students stared at me as I walked past them, and some glanced at me and made sure to avoid doing so again. But the reactions that confused me the most, was this group of 3 that didn't even notice me, they were too busy chatting among themselves. This confused me, because they're the only people to do so, the boy and girl with purple hair and the girl with blue hair. Everyone else who sat on the bus made sure to steer clear of me, probably because I'm the new kid and because of the brown mask I wear below my eyes to hide the permanent smile I had been gifted.

The bus ride took 20 minutes to get there, and I spent that time listening to my music and ignoring the stares directed my way. As I made my way through the school gates, all the girls sent looks of pity and glares of jealousy, while the boys looked at me with stares of curiosity. A few even sent a few catcalls in my direction. I knew why and have for a long time: I may be a boy, but I had a rather feminine body. I learned a long time ago how to ignore those looks and sounds from males and females alike. I guess I have my lovely father to thank for my learning of it.

I made my way through the campus turning up my music to block out the whistles from all the boys and stared at my feet to miss the stares. A few of the other students started pointing out my mask and a handful of them braved asking me to take it off. I didn't notice. I found one of the teachers and asked him for directions to my locker and classroom. He gave me this weird, judgemental stare but told me where to go and walked away. I made my way, following the directions he gave me. Left, right, straight, right, right, left. I kept dodging the people getting in my way. Not paying attention to the people getting pushed in the lockers, the girls sharing their gossip, nor the people making their way to their lockers and classrooms.

I knew that even if I was a worthless nobody, even if I was just a wierdo that would remain alone for the rest of my life: I would be the talk of the school, and I would be laughed at because of it. I am probably the only new kid in history to have become the gossip of the entire school on their first day. Not that I noticed it.

It took me walking through hundreds of students, following multiple hallways, but I finally got to my locker. I got my books, laptop, and stationery out of my bag and put what I didn't need in my locker. I followed Auntie Eliza's advice and took a deep breath, unplugged my headphones, and closed my eyes for a minute to ground myself. I checked my reflection in my phone's camera and shifted my mask to make sure it covered the entirety of the lower half of my face.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to notice the purple haired girl from the bus has been trying to get my attention. "Hi." I said meekly, "I-I-I, can I h-help you?"

"Yeah!", she said in an overly energetic voice, "I was wondering if I could know your name, miss...?"

"I-it's mister, and I'm Akari." I replied quietly.

"Hi! I'm Kio! I was just wondering, are you new here? What class are you in?"

"Yes, I'm new. I'm in c-class 2-C. Why do you ask?"

"Yay! You're in my class!"

"D-do you judge me for my mask?"

"No," she responded, "Should I?"

"I don't know."

"Well, come with me, I'll introduce you to some people!"