Behind The Mask

Chapter 3- Akari

The next morning when I woke up, the first thing I did was remove the sheets to be washed and had a shower to wash off the sweat left on my body after the most recent set of nightmares. I hadn't had a single good night's sleep for as long as I can remember, always plagued by the demons of my past that would strangle me if I didn't keep them in check. Which is why after my shower, I instantly took my medication. I learned over the years that if I didn't, I struggled to get through the day, and I would not be able to communicate to anyone without breaking down. Depending on the events of the day, I take more as I need to.

Once I did that, I got into my school uniform and went into the room next to my bedroom. Into my safe haven. It was a decent sized room, the roof and each wall covered in a type of foam that provided an insulated soundproofing. In that room sat a music stand, and a rack along the wall with a variety of violins, violas, and other assortments of stringed instruments. I grabbed one violin in particular, and I knew which one it was, because the case had a design of a red rose sitting atop a Christian cross. This violin, this... memory, is the most important thing to me, and after the night I had, I needed it.

I remember the day I got this: it was the same day I lost her. It was the day my mum died. Her last words to me always reverberate around my mind, I never have and never will forget them- "make people smile with the talent you have, Akari. I'll always be so proud of you.". And less than 5 minutes later, she died in front of my very eyes. She died to the gentle lullaby of a violin song I had learned just the week before at Auntie Eliza's house. She died to the tears of her grief-stricken child. She died too young. The doctors had told us that the cause of her death was due to an 'unknown substance', but I didn't hear that. I didn't hear anything in that moment, other than her last breaths, played on repeat as if on a broken record.

The one thing I remember from that day after her passing; was the look on my father's face. It wasn't grief-stricken, it wasn't sad, it wasn't even angry. If it had of been, things might have been different. But no, instead I saw excitement, hope, and something I've never been able to describe. Maybe one day I'll figure it out. But it was in that small moment that I knew something bad was going to happen to me, and I was right. I was only 4 years old, yet I was required to grow up way too fast. From that day forward, for 9 years, I received many 'gifts', punishments and was kept out of school, based on the excuse that only people with mothers can go to school. My aunt was always suspicious of what was happening. My sperm donor never brought me along to visit her and my cousins whenever he visited. He didn't even mention my name. so she decided to visit me. And what she found horrified her to no end.

So she called the police on him for at least a check. They arrested my father. I met some of my family shortly after I woke up in the white room. My 2 cousins helped look after me ever since that day. After a short while, I stopped looking at them like cousins, and began to see them as more like older siblings- supporting me, helping me when I need it the most, fighting tooth and nail for me, and never giving up on me. They showed me the true meaning of family, and it opened up my eyes to just how bad my father was. And that was why I testified against him at the age of 13, hoping to be rid of him forever. Instead I only got him 25 years in prison and gaining my aunt complete custody of me.

As all of this goes through my mind and I remember everything I went through, I open the case, tighten the bow, apply the rosin, and play. I play the most meaningful song to me, and I don't even pay attention anymore. I just let my emotions run through me, and I start playing Albinoni- Adagio. Through all the strokes, all the vibratos and all of the finger placements, until by the end of it, I have tears streaming down my face. Knowing it was the first song I ever learned how to play, the first song I ever played on this violin, and the first and last song I ever played for my mother... it's too much. By the end of it, my eyes are red, my mask is wet- through tears rather than blood this time- and I start heaving in sobs. Auntie Eliza, who must have walked in at some point, walks over to me, and gives me a hug. My legs gave out and I just collapsed into the embrace: sobs racking my body, tears streaming, and the body of the most important person in my life there holding on to me, not willing to let go. We sit there in that position for what feels like hours but was in fact only 5-10 minutes before I recover. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. Knowing I couldn't say anything without causing another breakdown, I merely shook my head. "I understand," she told me, "It seems like it was only yesterday I was teaching you that song."

"Do you still want to go to school today?" she asked me, "Because I won't blame you if you don't."

"I want to go," I responded, "I can't just show up on my first day then miss out."

"Are you sure?"

"...yes."

"Ok."

I then walked to the bus stop again, listening to my playlist. When the bus arrived, I ignored everyone and went to go sit in the same spot as yesterday. At least, that was he plan, until Kio grabbed my arm and dragged me into the area they were sitting in, and I ended up sitting next to Kian. The others started talking about the day ahead, and I just tried to say as little as I could. Before I knew it, I was having fun and joining in on the conversation. I knew we had sport first up after homeroom, and I was curious to see what Mr. Wood is like after the other threes description the day before.

After coming out of the change rooms, I waited for the others, thinking it better we all head to the gym together. As we walked Kian turned to us and warned us about the little bb gun he had hiding in his waistband. He said that it was "just a precaution". It did not inspire much faith in me.

When we walked into the gym, the first thing I noticed is that our teacher looked like an ugly, stereotypical sports teacher. The second thing I noticed was that he was getting very... physical with the girls that were already there. I now understood why the bb gun was there. When he saw the little group, I was in, he walked up to us. I already knew that everyone in the school considered Kio to be the 'hottest' girl in the school. She was very quiet at this moment, which let me know very quickly that they had history. He seemed more interested in me, though. "Hello, miss... what is your name?

"it's mister," I responded, "and my names Akari."

"I guess it doesn't really matter what gender you are, you look enough like a girl to me." He said as he began reaching his hands out.

With the flashbacks from my nightmare's last night, I froze. Memories of my father brimming to mind as I became aware of what he was trying to do. He walked behind me, one hand on my shoulder, the other on his chin in a thinking pose. I couldn't move, I couldn't think. My mind went blank. That's when he saved me, like a knight in shining armour. Kian pulled out his bb gun, and held it point blank in Mr. Woods face.

"Get. Your hands. Off him." He said with a voice that threatened a horrible fate and a glare that promised a painful end. "Or do you want a reminder of what I did when you touched my sister?"

The touchy teacher instantly backed away and went to bother another set of girls. I couldn't breathe. I needed some air. I walked out of the gym and went around the corner out of the view of anyone. Kian walked out of the gym, looked around, and calmly walked over to me. He put his hand on my shoulder, in a much more gentle and caring way than anyone else ever could.

"Are you okay?"

And for the second time that day, I broke down. I reached out and Kian pulled me in and held me in a hug that spoke volumes to me. When I started to calm down, he asked me something: "do you want to talk about it, or just stay here and hug it out?"

I responded with the only word that popped up in my mind- "stay."

Andstay he did, not letting me go until I was ready. At some point, the other two cameand joined the hug. Even if I never thought I'd find it, I did. I found asecond family. And in that embrace, I felt right at home.