One Summer | ongoing.

04

In my freshman year, I had a best friend named Ella and we used to be super close. And when I say close, I mean the closest of friends in the entire planet.

But then we weren't.

We got into many fights over silly and stupid things that didn't mattered and one thing she told me that sticked with was... "Rhea, you don't open yourself to other people and that makes being your best friend extremely hard"

She wasn't wrong when she said that but it still hurted me a lot so instead of answering back to her, I simply walked away and we never talked to each other after that.

Days, weeks, months and years went by and things changed between me and Ella. I guess I never talked to her again because I was ashamed that she knew something like that before I could have known.

The words that Ella told me were on repeat and repeat on my brain and I knew she was right but a little part of me hoped she wasn't. But then again, the thought of meeting someone new, getting close to them, sharing my darkest memories, secrets and thoughts scared the crap out of me.

Because if they chose to leave your life, you have no choice but to let them. But what about all those beautiful memories you created with that person? All those laughs that had you clenching your hands to your stomach because you felt you were going to piss your pants. All those moments where you felt safe with their presence and you felt connected with their soul would disappear.

They would maybe disappear for them but not for me.

I guess that's worse than heartbreak.

Knowing someone, sharing your soul with them and then, them leaving you and your life like it's the easiest thing in the world to do.

This fear started to grow a year before Liam decided to leave me. It was like foreshadowing me that something was going to happen to me and when Ella told me that, it made sense to me.

After Liam left, it just got harder for me to trust new people into my life because that very same fear never left my body.

I think I'm going to spend my entire life with it.

"Rhea!" A sudden voice yelling next to me makes me jump in my chair and open my eyes to see Eliana staring at me.

Taking off my headphones from my ears, I stare at her with wide eyes. "You almost gave me a heart attack,"

I take deep breath to try to calm my erratic heart beat to calm down as I pause the music on my phone.

"Sorry, but I've been calling your name like a hundred times to ask you something and you didn't answer,"

"A hundred times you called me?"

There's silence and then Eliana simply tells me, "Kay maybe not hundred times but it was more than one,"

"Okay, sorry but what did you want to ask me?"

"What you mean?" Eliana's eyebrows furrow at my question and I let out a soft sigh.

"You came here to ask me something..." I explain, "You almost gave me a heart attack when you yelled my name..."

When she finally remembers, her mouth turns opens to form a circle shape and she points her finger at me. "Oh yeah, grandma wanted me to ask you what you want for dinner,"

Oh, food. Yummy.

"Oh, what is she making?" My interest is immediately on this conversation.