Toxic Illusions

Silhouette

  

     Can't be preaching the same old tales for these foolish girls who always linger around the bar. They never listen, it's always the guy with the fat check they were after.
  And the rich lonely guys too always come, always fall prey.
No,no. I'll take back my word. I don't think that's right,always fall prey?  No way!   They were the predators themselves. And the foolish call girls are the unlucky ones.

"Carole. She's here to see you ".
Nate, the manager at the Gazelle called my attention.

I'd been busy drying the champagne glasses and mumbling to myself about Laura's drama.

"Mom?" I dropped the glass in a flush and walked out through the bartender door leading to the storeroom. I called my mom to follow.
  I took her to the staffs restroom, here the sound of music was  lesser.

   "What are you doing here? I told you before, my boss will get mad at me".
My mom didn't look okay, I hadn't asked what was wrong with her. That was not nice of me. I heaved a sigh.

"I'm sorry, I know you said to call you first before coming. I tried to call you, but Salor took my phone".

   Of course, there were bruises on her face that survived Salor's last weekend beating. I couldn't even find a clear spot on her face anymore, so I barely knew when she got beat up.

       "He beat you up again?"
  I asked, watching her wash off the dried blood from the edge of her lip.
"Can I borrow some money from you? I need to go to your aunt's at Opelika".

  I couldn't even get angry, I frowned still.

  "I don't have any cash here, you'll have to wait till my shift closes so we can get it from the house". I rushed.
  She stopped washing and faced me,her hands dripping of the light red liquid.
"You shouldn't go back there,go stay at Laura's or Monique's. But don't go back home,"

     She snatched my hands into hers and rubbed them roughly.

"Maybe some other time, to get your stuffs, but not today. Salor will kill you".
Her eyes were wide and still teary.

  "Laura's in the hospital, fighting for her life. Tell me, what happened this time Mom?" My eyes stared at her lazily.
She was still rubbing my hands, her uneasy mood that I had gotten used to hovered above her.
  She patted. "I'll tell you later."
The female restroom door flung open and Ramsey's scent filled the whole place. I moved away from my mom, I already knew I was going to get an earful and maybe even a cut from my paycheck,again.

"Good Evening Ramsey, I was just about to go back in".

  "What happened to you?"   Ramsey had ignored me.

Mom had that look on her face,again. It was the same one I got to see everyday since the moment I knew my right and wrong. It was always there whenever she caught me peeking at her when she washed her bloodied face in the bathroom,or when I wanted answers from her.

She maintained a sad stare at me. Ramsey was in between us now and I'm guessing she understood the mom's reaction, because she suddenly turned around and almost screamed at me.

  "What are you still doing here? And know that you owe me, I've lost lots of money at the bar, we'll settle this when you get you pay. Okay?"  She raised her brows.

"Yes Ma".

I didn't look at my mom before I stormed out. She knew damn right not to have come. I hissed when I got out. The high chairs at the bar were all filled up.

"You're lucky I came in time. I bet Ramsey is super mad"

That was Monique, my colleague and close friend.

"Yeah she is" I tied my apron round my waist and returned to drying the glasses. "When did you come in? I didn't see you"
  She was pouring a drink for a regular.

  "I passed through the back though". She dipped the tip she got into her butt pocket.
"I heard about Laura, Nate called me. How did this even happen? Felix looked like a cool guy".
  I didn't answer to that. I knew them to be all the same. My mind still reflected on mom's issue with Salor.
I walked off to take orders, a note and pen closely pressing my bosom.

  When I got back Mom was at the bar,sitted with a glass of juice in front of her.
    "So you're waiting for me to finish?"
She didn't respond. Her eyes focused on me.
I was somehow irritated at how she stared at me.

   "What?"   I asked when she hadn't shifted her gaze for over a minute.
She gently moved her head. "Nothing. Ramsey said I can stay the night at her place,she'll help get me get to Opelika in the morning".

I looked at her, "Are you ready to divorce Salor?"
Her unsteady hands grabbed the glass of juice and took a quick sip. She looked around,except at me.
  "Mom?"
She exhaled loudly,reaching for my fingers.
  "You know I have to think about Paloma and Ines, how will they cope?
She'd started her pity stories, stories I was tired of hearing. I picked the small tray Monique had dropped in front of me, the orders I got.

"You know what? I don't care, you can do whatever the fuck you like" .
I murmured as I walked off.

Mom was too quiet a soul, I didn't like that. I could remember clearly how Aunt Morena had to convince and force her out of the marriage between my first father and her. My Dad wasn't a good man, I couldn't see anything truer. Growing up with both parents was one of the toughest stage of my life.

  I would see mom happy and bright in the morning when I waved at her from inside the local school bus. And whenever I'd return home, my mom would be enveloped in a dark gloomy web. Her beautiful brown skin was always covered in bruises and blood clots.

It took mom sixteen years to make the right decision that time. Seven months before she had me, fifteen years after I was born.
  But maybe she was jinxed or something. How possible was it, to free yourself from an abusive relationship of sixteen years and fall right into another one? Didn't seem normal to me.

Falling in love with Salor wasn't her fault, I agree.  She was emotionally vulnerable and Salor feed her heart what it needed. But it is so clear now, all that was just a facade.
She choosing to stay after so many red flags,during their first dates,six months courtship and three years of marriage.

I scoffed. Visibly irritated and angry.

"Did I say something wrong?"

I jolted back to realize that I'd been standing in front of the customers even after serving the drinks.
  "Sorry. Sorry". I quickened and walked away.

My mom had gone when I returned to the bar. Monique said Ramsey called her and they both left.
I sighed.