Toxic Illusions

Quarantine

It was in twenty-twenty,during the Covid-19 mass lockdown. That time I'd gotten stuck in Estancia Real Los Cabos, Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
I'd just finished high school and I needed a job, even though it was hard to get a job because of the lack of qualifications in my resume, the cleaning agency that was overseen by my mom's high school best friend gave me a call to work.
I was on a two weeks hotel cleaning shift job.

Mexico was an escape from the life at Montgomery, an escape from pain and constant agitation. Most times I'd chosen to stay back and work overtime.
It was during one of my overtime work I met this guy, Virgil.

I was running a temperature and It could'nt have been possible to get a leave pass since I was supposed to be out two days earlier, but I had stayed back. I had to get up, Twas late in the morning already. But I had to go clean my share of the rooms.
He was up and packing when I got there.

"Good Morning Sir, I'm here to clean your room". I said, the strain in my voice sold me out totally.
"Are you okay?"

He'd looked straight at me.
I nodded, my eyes struggled to close as I worked on keeping them open.

He dropped the shirt he was holding and started to walk towards me. I dragged my feets backwards,carefully.
"You don't look too good". He stopped.

"I'm okay,just a little headache. I'm okay".
I dropped the bucket of cleaning tools unconsciously. Even the sound it made couldn't jerk me awake. I was falling in a flash and I couldn't help myself.

I woke up on the bed in the same room. My head was heavy and it felt like I was falling with my head downwards.

"Hi". Came up from the side of the bed.
"Hi". I returned,after I had seen his face.

"You've been asleep for hours now. I'll go call the manager, you need to see a doctor".
I jumped up instantly and rushed to where he was.

"See? I'm okay now. Please don't call the manager".
He asked, "Why?"

"I can't go home now, I don't want to. Please".
"But you'll have to eventually. The lockdown starts tomorrow morning, you would at least want to stay home". He paid close attention to me.

I didn't understand. What lockdown? What could be happening outside the walls of this hotel? I had never cared actually, my life had pretty much been on the same routine for as long as I could remember.

"What is happening?"
He looked at me dumbfounded and sighed.

.......That's why everyone is checking out, borders will be closed in the morning then the lockdown will begin".
"What do I do now? I can't make it home before the lockdown commences".

"Why didn't you go home when you were supposed to?"
He got up again and continued his packing.

I ignored his question and rushed to the window. True, people were leaving. Everyone was leaving. I walked back and sat on the bed, sobbing.
"Heyyy, don't cry". He cooed at me.

I never wanted to go home again if that were possible, but being stuck with no place to stay didn't go down well with me. How was I going to survive? And even if worse come to worse, I still wanted to see my mom.

I remembered she'd been calling yesterday and I didn't take any of them. I didn't want to hear about her fights with Salor or about the other woman Salor had brought home last night, or about how drunk he was when he came home. I didn't want to hear about the jewelry he bought for her when he apologized for her arm he had broken.
My mom's life was wrapped around her marriage, and I for one did not care.

I cried some more.

"My house is in Panama, and I'll be leaving immediately after I shop for groceries. You could come if you want".
He said almost as though he didn't want me to.

I didn't want to either. My life was a living hell because of men already.
But did I have another option? There was a big NO, dancing in circles inside my head, I raised it up anyway and nodded.

"I don't know who else to go to"
"Then go carry your bags, I'll be waiting here"
"Okay".
"Hurry up, okay".

I called my mom when I finished packing my stuffs.
"Are you coming home?"

I exhaled hot air and shook my head,like she could see me.
"I'm still in Mexico, I can't come back".
The speaker made cracking sounds for a few seconds, I think she was walking.
"Is Salor there?"

"He was. Where are you now?" Mom's voice was lively today, I thought.
Must have been a while since they fought.

"I'll be heading to Panama in a while. I'm going with some guy"
"A guy?" Mom's voice screeched. "Your friend?"

I screamed a "No" back to her and I swear, I think she laughed.
"He's just some guy I met here, yesterday. I mean, he helped me when I fainted this morning, but that's all".

"I'm guessing you don't even know his name".
"There won't be a need for that". I shrugged.

Mom mumbled something inaudible. I didn't ask her to repeat, I could guess it already.

"Will you be okay alone with him?"
"Mom, I'm not a child. I can take care of myself".

Her voice sounded lower now. "I know you can, you have been taking care of yourself since you were little. I'm just scared.........

"You don't have to be, I'll be fine. It's you I'm worried about"
"Don't be. Salor just dropped me at your aunt's house in Opelika, he has gone back".
"That's a relief".
"I'm pregnant,Carole" Mom had said.

My mouth let out an, "Oh".

Mom was telling me she was four months gone already, and a few other of Salor's wrong doings when the door was knocked at.

Twas him.
"We really need to go now". He said immediately I opened the door.

I agreed with a quick nod. I couldn't have been more happier that moment.
"I'll talk to you soon mom, I have to get going now".

"Yes. Sure,sure. Be safe my baby, I love you"

I pushed the phone into my Jean pocket and snatched my bag from the lower bunk bed I occupied.

"Where's your mom?"
He asked, on our way to Panama.

I wasn't ready to be his friend, I didn't have plans to.
"Why do you ask?" I didn't look at him.

He scoffed.
"It would be nice to at least know who I'm letting into my house, that's all".

"I'll be paying for that. So I don't think it's necessary".
He turned to look at me a few times. "Paying? I didn't mean it like that when I said you could come along, you don't have to pay".

"I don't want to feel indebted to you, so I will pay. How much?"
"I don't need your money".

"That's how y'all be at the beginning,then you start throwing punches the next day". I couldn't tell if I was screaming. I've never had a conversation with any guy within my dating age range. I haven't even talked to a guy for that long, except mom's ex husband. Ten years ago? Not like the little talks we had were things I wanted to remember.
He stared at me with wide eyes. "Woah woah".

He stopped the car by the side of the road. Twas almost dark, but the road was still so busy.
"Please, you can get down now and look for somewhere else to stay. I don't want no trouble, and you look like one".

"I'm sorry". I hissed.