Screaming for Help

reliving the past

Lauren POV
After Camila showed me her house and how gorgeous it is, we retired on the couch and started talking about deeper stuff then what meets the eye.
The fucked up stuff that only you know about and the funny lighthearted stuff that goes along with the fucked up stuff. So we started talking about high school....what's more fucked up then that, I went first.
"Whenever I was younger I use to get bullied, picked on per say because I was a nerd I had straight A's I didn't have any friends, school was my life I didn't know how to defend myself I was the ideal person for bullying. But all it takes is one day.... one day I got tired of it and the captain of the volleyball team started some shit and I lost it on her, because she started talking about how I deserved to lose my dad because I was a whore. I went ballistic. But it felt nice, I gave her a busted lip, cracked cheek bone, broken nose, and a black eye. To say she never messed with me again was an understatement". I finished and we both busted out laughing at the story "she was so scared of me I swear, one time I tapped her on the shoulder and she about shit her pants, man the look on her face was priceless" I said in- between my laughs. Although it wasn't the nicest story it was still fun to look back on and laugh about it.
Sometime after our laughing I ask Camila about her highschool experience and she started speaking to say her story "I was obviously different, so I had to hide what was in my pants, in gym I would change in one of the stalls instead of changing in front of everybody else because, well I had to wear boxers and you could obviously see a dick print in them. People started to ask questions when they noticed me walking to the stalls other than the open floor in the locker room and I just said I didn't feel comfortable with it. But that wasn't a good enough answer.....so one day when I walked into the changing stall and I had already had my pants off getting ready to put on my shorts and  the stall door opened and all the cheerleaders we're standing in front of me wide eyed and jaw dropped I realized that they were staring at my dick. They all quickly shut the door and by that afternoon I was bruised and bullied about my extra part. Now don't get me wrong I wasn't the most beautiful girl ever I had glasses short hair and overweight with acne and braces. I was the ideal target to be picked on....that summer I decided to make a change, I got on a traveling soccer team to get in shape, I went to the gym six times a week, changed my diet, got healthier, I let my hair grow out, I dyed it jet black, and started caring about my skin, got my braces off, started wearing contacts. I came back junior year a new person, jaws dropped dick prints everywhere. Girls practically throwing themselves at me , because I came back to school with chiseled abs, arms that were well defined and my hands were hot to some people which was weird. Anyway I was a new person, the bullying stopped and people were worshipping me, life was great but as it all does it came to an end." She ended and as she was about to get into the other one...she started to slightly quiver and I saw tears well up..but she quickly blinked them away as she started speaking.
"One day I was sitting in my English class, third period of the day and my teacher got a phone call it was about my about sister, she was 7 at that time. The teacher ask me to step out in the hallway with her so she could talk to me. ...She told me my sister had been shot to death on her way to school on the bus. When the teacher told me I had a breakdown I screamed at the top of my lungs, crying, I punched lockers until they were bent in and my fists were bleeding, I cried until I couldn't see out of my eyes anymore they were so swollen, I fell to the floor in emotional pain. My English teacher walked up to me and picked me up bridal style and carried me to the nurses office because of my emotional state and physical. I had broken three bones in each hand and tore several muscles as well. My mom came by the school because they thought it was best if I just went home. She saw me and gasp, the bright light she had that same day was gone I became depressed but still managed to keep my body the way it was but I started to self harm. I lost my companion, my best friend." I listened intently to what she was saying she started to tear up again but kept them at bay but she stopped talking because she had been for a awhile and she excused her self to go get some water and compose herself and I just soaked up all the new information she told me, it sounds like she has had a challenging life but she managed to get through it by the grace of God.
She returned and continues with her story "one day I cut to deep and my mom found me on my bathroom floor lifeless and blood around me from my wrist. She called 911 and when the paramedics got there my BP was 30/10 I was mere seconds away from dying. But they brought me back and after I realized what I was doing to myself I apologized to everybody and slowly started to become my self again, I started getting better grades in school and finished top of my class and when I walked across that stage to get my diploma I dedicated it to Sofia the principle let me say a speech of my struggles and my recovery and one of my lines is a quote that is the famous quote of the school is....we mourn, we cry, we laugh, we rage, we accept, we're human...." She finishes, I look at her in astonishment, baffled she had a hard life but she came out on top of it all. "I thought I was a worrior" I say in all righteousness. Camila deserves everything she has. "We all have trauma its just a matter of living through it to see the light in darkness....we are both kind of fucked up aren't we" she said and I laugh and then we just sit there in silence relishing it.
The silence was relinquishing for me because the last couple days had been so busy and just emotionaly draining...so it was nice to be sat in comfortable silence for the first time, which was what felt like years. So we sat there for I don't know how long just enjoying the silence.. because as well all know the silence won't last forever.