new year's day [h.s.]

Six

"Oh, you fill my head with pieces

Of a song I can't get out"

SONG: "Bloom" // The Paper Kites

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— Harry —

It's Saturday, our last night in Santa Barbara, and I'm thinking I need to fuck someone. Desperately.

Or get fucked by someone. Honestly, I'm not feeling very picky.

Now, you might be wondering, "gee Harry, what makes you say that?" The simple answer? Eden. The more embarrassing answer? I had a wet dream last night, and I woke up feeling like I was fucking 17 again.

What really takes the cake though, is the even more embarrassing answer: I didn't even dream about us doing the deed. Hell, she barely even kissed me. It just seemed like we'd spent the day bouncing around some shops together, then she kissed my cheek in the car.

Maybe we did fuck and I just don't remember that part of the dream. That makes it... y'know... marginally better. But for fuck's sake, I'd want to remember something like that.

Needless to say, I felt a bit pathetic after I woke up and discovered the state of my briefs. I was quick to jump out of bed, grab a fresh pair, and take a much needed cold shower. During which, I may or may not have gotten myself off in a far more... satisfying manner.

Not that important of a detail, really. Moving swiftly on!

The last three days or so have definitely been busy. Several people working on the movie either have their own homes here or were willing to rent one, so an almost unimaginable number of people has been crammed into a limited amount of space. I lucked out and got an actual bedroom to myself - okay, maybe I didn't "luck out" so much as nobody wanted to stick the male lead on a living room couch -, staying in one of the smaller houses that had been rented. It meant we had to drive over every morning to our director's house, but I didn't mind that if I was able to avoid feeling like a packaged sardine.

A few of the houses were along the stretch of a private beachfront, and we've taken full advantage of that. Be it watching the sunrises and sunsets, taking blankets and our lunches down to the sand, or sitting around a firepit at one of the houses for a nightcap, I've managed to get my fix of California sunshine that I'd missed while lounging around Graham and Sierra's.

Too bad that even when the skies were clear, I couldn't help but feel as though a tiny cloud was still blocking part of the sun. Like I wasn't yet experiencing all of its warmth and radiance.

Wednesday afternoon and evening were relatively lax. We spent a few hours down on the beach, allowing everyone to mingle before heading back up to the house, where we moved as much living room furniture as possible out of the way to make room for folding tables and chairs. An early dinner was catered for us all before we settled around the tables, department heads hovering near the kitchen island, and started getting to work. We didn't do a read-through, but our director and producers had the actors ask any questions we had from when we looked over our scripts at home.

Thursday was a little more chaotic, starting off bright and early in the morning. We did one read without interruption, allowing the cast to get a preliminary feel for one another if we hadn't read together during the auditioning process. The second read was more stop-and-go, the screenplay writers, director, and producers all chiming in with their notes of what to do differently, how a line should be delivered, if they felt like something was missing. Actors were also encouraged to continue asking clarifying questions if we felt it necessary. We went well past our scheduled lunch break to finish, but they gave us more time to eat so that they could all compare notes.