It hurt, it hurt to breath, it hurt to move, it hurt to exist. I didn't want to carry on with all this hurt anymore but I had to stay strong for the hope that I was going to see my family again and be happy. I have never known what it's like to come home to a full family, even when I was with my papa and mama, Paula, my aunt, was always there to ruin everything. I need her gone. It was a couple of minutes after a beating and honestly, I thought that she was going to kill me once and for all, the worst thing was that for a split second, I wanted to bleed out and die so I did not have to feel anything. So, I could finally have peace, the amount of things that she has done to me has been indescribable and the things that has happened to me has haunted me every time I go to sleep. I just hope that one day I can be free of all this heartache.
Time skip (present)
It was morning now and all I could think about was the searing pain in my body. It took everything in me to get up and get ready for another day. Every time I would get another beating, I would remember all those awful words and stories that my aunt spewed out of her dirty mouth. The worst thing is that I actually believed her. After everything, I believed that my parents did not want me, nor did anyone else because when you are constantly being told something, repeatedly, you start to think it's true. She started the torment when I was young, so I didn't know any better and just listened to her whilst she beat me and I laid stationary on the floor, the sound of her insults pilling and suffocating my mind, it started when I was only five. Five.
Entering the bathroom, I looked inside the mirror and saw a girl who was broken, weighed down by the sins of other people, trapped in a path that she could not escape. I hated what I saw sometimes, the scars remind me of troubled times where all I wanted to do was end it but it also shows how strong I am. When I look in the mirror, I see the good and the bad, I see all the sleepless nights that occupied my life because I was up getting a beating but I also saw all those nights where I survived.
I trace the only one out of three scars that were visible on the front of my body, it was a little bit darker than my skin tone and ran all the way from my hip to the bottom of my ribcage. It reminded me of the first time my aunt almost tried to kill me, I remember being so scared after the whole encounter, I remember trying my best to avoid her at all cost, just so I could make it out alive, hoping to see another day, and I did, and I am grateful.
Walking into the shower I put the water setting on the coldest it could go, it's not like I had any choice because the wicked witch of the west, aka Paula, is always there to seal all children's fun. I lathered the tropical scented body wash on my body and washed my face along with brushing my teeth. When was finally done, I hopped out of the shower and wrapped the small towel around my body. Looking in my closet, I didn't have a lot of clothes in this house because I wasn't allowed and I didn't want my aunt to see all the money I have and exploit it for her own selfish needs.
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