akaashi was starting to think that y/n hadn't gotten the letters.
it's been a month. if she did get the letters, would she have tried to contact him again? did she even open the letters once she saw his name? what if she just threw it out?
he shook his head to free those thoughts from his mind. perhaps it's taking a little longer to receive those letters. he did send the envelope to her grandparents' house only because he had texted konoha and he said that y/n was staying at her grandparent's house for the summer.
what if she met someone new? some new writer sitting at their table on a rainy day? sharing their umbrella with her and running into her randomly.
oh, how much he missed waking up in excitement with hopes that he would get to she her. now she was hours away. he was hours away. they were hours away from each other.
he knew it would hurt but he didn't think it would hurt this much. he felt empty. there was no longer that feeling of anticipation when he woke up. the painting he left on display in his kitchen was a reminder of what he left behind.
and it hurt like hell.
the second he stepped foot into his new apartment, he was ready to turn around and go back. but he didn't. he stayed and got his book published.
hopefully she read it.
or at least the dedication. he was contemplating on just leaving the "my darling" by didn't want her to think it was for someone else. it was for her. it's always been for her.
the last thing he needed was for her to think he had found someone new. after a few walks around the new city and getting to sit and people watch for a little, it was clear to him that no one held a flame to the girl back home.
or his old home.
akaashi decided he had spent around enough time worrying himself and went into his kitchen. his new apartment was a little bigger than his old one, but he didn't have a lot of furniture to move in with.
he sold most of it and only bought his clothes and other belongings. stuff that would fit into boxes, not his sofa or his bed frame. right now he had a few chairs, a few lamps, a table, and a mattress.
his apartment was nearly empty. despite his fridge being stocked and his clothes all lined up in his closet, he felt like he wasn't the one living there. not to mention the stack of books he piled up against one wall.
all his personal belongings were there, but he wasn't. his mind and heart were in a totally different place.
"fuck." he ran his hand through his hair and grabbed his keys. maybe being inside his apartment wasn't doing him any good. going outside for a bit might be better for his head.
there were a few shops around and he spent most of his time in a bakery. it wasn't the coffee shop but they did make amazing pastries. plus, there was a little toddler who was usually there on most days since his mom worked there.
sometime his mom would bring him over to the restaurant across the street and come back without him. akaashi used to wonder why the toddler would stay over at the restaurant without his mom. but one night when he stayed late, he saw a curly haired man who worked at the restaurant walk into the bakery with the toddler in his arms. and if that wasn't surprising enough, the man kissed the mother of the toddler. it was quite awkward for akaashi since he was the only customer in the bakery.
they were a cute couple and had a cute kid who was starting to recognize him whenever he walked into the bakery. the little "agaashi!" he let out reminded akaashi of y/n's cousin, lana.
everything he saw and everywhere he went reminded him of her and it was driving him crazy.
the vibration of his phone pulled him away from his thoughts for a few seconds. he was a little surprised to see a text from konoha. it wasn't like they didn't talk, but akaashi had been busy with his book.
konoha: akaashi 🙂
akaashi: konoha
konoha: dude come on, where are ur emojis
konoha: anyway, she got ur letters after you sent them to her GRANDPARENT'S house
akaashi: she got them? is she reading them? did she throw them out? if she didn't but looks like she's going to, please don't let her.
konoha: no u idiot, she's been locked in her room reading them
akaashi: how long has she been in her room?
konoha: few hours
konoha: but i was here to be used as ur owl once again and now i have delivered the message 🫡
akaashi: was she happy when she saw them?
konoha: like i said, she locked herself in her room to read them and i haven't heard her scream or cry or anything so i think she's good
akaashi: okay, can you tell me if anything changes? or when she walks out of her room?
konoha: yep yep, got it
akaashi felt the corners of his mouth rising and himself starting to relax. she finally got his letters. that confirmation took half the stress he had away from him and he was no longer wondering what had happened to them.
but now he had a new worry.
her reaction.
they were letters. he knew how to write and he wrote a handful of letters to her, but what were the purpose of his letters?
to show her how much he really loved her? to show her how much he cared? to say sorry for leaving her even though he would've stayed for her?
but deep down, he knew moving away was the best decision for his career. but was his career so important? more than his happiness and moving away from his friends?
her reaction to these letters would either be the thing that puts him back together or the thing that breaks him completely.
and he was hoping it would be the first one.
~~~
i love how this chapter was akaashi literally giving himself every reason to go back but also trying to convince himself it's not so bad where he is at the same timelove of my life by harry styles is their song 🤞
might make an edit w that later idksakusa book sneak peek if i ever end up writing that 🫶
YOU ARE READING
sparks fly - k. akaashi
Fanfiction𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢 𝐬𝐞𝐞, 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐲, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞 ↳ in which a rainy day brings two people together