Take My Hand [Bridgerton]

[06. The Gardens of Vauxhall]

"...are you merely an older brother, or are you the man of this house?"

His mother's words echoed in his ears long after he and Sienna finished their lovemaking. The words raged a war in Anthony's head, fighting his instincts over and over again until he had a searing headache.

"You speak of responsibility, my dear son, of duty? Pray tell, what should you know of it?"

She simply didn't understand the pressure that he was under. He had to find Daphne a husband, an honorable man that would treat her right and take care of her for the rest of her life. Her happiness, her liveliness, and her future family all rested on his shoulders and he was terrified he was going to fuck it all up. Was it so wrong that he wanted the best possible match for Daphne?

Anthony thought back to what Winnifred had asked of him at dinner hours before. She had promised to surrender in her plans of matching Daphne and Hastings, but in turn, he had to consider more suitors than Lord Berbrooke. Admittingly, the man was rather ghastly in both looks and personality. It was possible that if Daphne married the man, his nieces and nephews might not have that spark that most Bridgerton offspring are said to have right from birth.

Still, he had scared off most of Daphne's eligible bachelors. Was that his fault? Maybe. Perhaps...But in his defense, if the bachelors of the Ton were good enough for Daphne, they wouldn't be afraid of him and scurry away from his sister with one hard glare. He had to think of some way to honor his sister while securing her future.

A sleepy sigh escaped Sienna's lips as she turned in his hold, bringing more of his mother's jabs to the forefront of his mind.

"...will you pay a visit to a certain soprano that you tend to in an apartment that you pay for on the other side of town?"

Even though he tried to hide it, his mother had known all along how he skirted the responsibility of marriage and continued his affair with Sienna. While he had stepped up in all other ways as Viscount, he was not ready to settle down and sire an heir, nor was he ready to confront just why he was reluctant to get married.

Maybe it was his hesitation that barred him from helping Daphne succeed in society. He could be projecting his desires on her in some weird way of protecting her.

Suddenly panic seized his heart at the thought of ruining Daphne's life. He had already scared away everyone and only Berbrooke was left with an offer of engagement. He had to fix this. He had to fix everything, just like his father would have. Even if it meant ruining his relationships.

He stroked Sienna's bare arm with the tips of his fingers as he gathered his courage. "I cannot see you anymore."

Sienna instantly sat up, his white sheets pressed to her breasts, and gave him a confused look. "I do not understand."

"It is not for you to understand," his chest ached as he looked away from her, glancing down at his signet ring until he could continue. "I must do what is necessary."