It's All Love

Building Walls

That night he finally went to sleep but I just couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried the only thing going through my mind was failure I was still thinking about everything that has went down and I just felt like crying my heart out which is what I did trying not to wake up Quinn but it's like he knows what I be thinking so he woke up anyway and just held me tight but I just couldn't stop crying but I eventually stopped but I still couldn't gts because so much was going through my mind so by morning I was knocked out but I didn't sleep good because I couldn't stay sleep and even when I was sleep I just had bad dreams back to back and it was just useless atp tryna gts when I clearly can't do I just went downstairs and went in the backyard and just sat in the sun then Quinn came outside too.

Quinn: You good?

Me: *Nods her head*

Quinn: How'd you sleep?

Me: *Looks at him* Fine

Quinn: Fr fr?

Me: Yea

Quinn: Ight, you hungry?

Me: No

Quinn: You gotta eat though

Me: I don't want to

Quinn: But you ain't ate in-

Me: I will, I just...not right now

Quinn: *Looks at her*

Me: *Goes in the house*

Vicky: Aaliy-

Me: What?! *Looks at her*

Vicky: ...Nevermind

Me: *Goes in her room*

I really had an issue I mean I wasn't trying to be mean to anybody I didn't wanna be mean it just came out idk wtf is wrong with me I just couldn't control how I felt then what really set it off was when I was sitting in my room a cared was slid under the door and it was like "To the soon to be best auntie" meaning Maddie was pregnant I didn't know how to feel so I slid it back under the door in pieces which probably made Maddie feel some type of way but I didn't care if she really thought I wanted to hear about another pregnancy she was mighty damn stupid because why would I wanna hear about that after mine I mean I was happy but I was I was upset and sad because I wanted that too. So for the next few days I just never came out my room period and everything was just fucked up so like 2 months went by and I started eating a little cause I really couldn't eat and just never had a appetite and everything time I tried to eat I just threw up I guess cause I was officially just comfortable without eating. I stopped being rude to everybody but I still barely spoke and I just took melatonin's and started to fall back on schedule, I guess I started doing great until Quinn wanted to take me out to the carnival I really didn't wanna go but I didn't know how to say no so the first thing that slipped slowly outta my mouth was yes, so I soon within 2 hours found myself getting ready to go to the carnival. Since I was going out I was thinking why not just make it fun I guess yk try to come out my now comfort zone and took some pictures yk.