Chapter One

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I sat with my coffee mug in my left hand while my other hand scribbled notes down onto my notepad. The metal bench that rested me pressed against my legs and chilled through my jeans and straight to my bones. I let my eyes shift up to look at the leaves as they cascaded down around me and swung with the biting wind. I tightened my grip on my mug as the wind drifted by, taking my remaining body heat with it.
Buzz Buzz
I fumbled around for a second before finally freeing my phone from my pocket.
"Yeah?"
"Where the hell are you?" I quickly pulled my phone away from my face and checked the time.
"Shit." I murmured.
"I've been waiting for over twenty minutes. Are you coming or not?"
"Yeah! Yeah... I'm coming. I'm so sorry." I scrambled to stuff my notebook into my backpack before tossing it over my shoulder. "I'm on my way."
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I walked hastily across campus to get to my car. When I got close enough I unlocked my car with a quick press of a button and threw my backpack in the back seat before slamming the door and hopping into the driver's seat. The cold air was trapped inside the car and it took nearly the whole drive to the coffee shop before the heat even managed to kick in.
I checked the time again.It had only taken me eight minutes to drive a fifteen minute commute. Not bad.
She was sitting outside on a bench when I arrived. Her legs bounced obnoxiously, whether it was to warm herself or to prove a frustrated point was beside me.
"I'm so sorry that I forgot!"
"Well you should be. I sat outside waiting for you for thirty minutes. Like, seriously? What the actual hell, Elaine?" She scolded me.
"You know you could have waited for me inside, right?" She only glared at me. "Whatever." I laughed.
She walked in first. The air was filled with deep aromas of coffee beans, freshly made pastries, and other things of the like. Caddie had already made her way through the decent crowd of college students who also found shelter from the cold in the small downtown coffee shop. There was a small table that sat in the far corner where the lights were slightly dimmed, Caddie made a beeline for it.
"Look! Our spot is open! Lucky us, considering you took so frickin' long..." She trailed off with a smirk.
"What do you want? The ushe?" She looked back at me as I took my seat and she tossed her purse in hers. She dug around in it until she found the wallet.
"Yeah, that'll work. Thanks." Caddie waltzed her way up to the front counter to make an order. Her curly blonde hair bounced on her shoulders. She bent her front torso over the counter giving the boys at the table behind her a sight to see. From as far away as I was I could still tell that she was doing it on purpose. She looked the male barista up and down before giving him our order. Admittedly, Caddie was a beautiful girl. She was blessed with the curves that most girls could only dream of having and man, did she use them to her advantage. She was also a complete makeup guru and anytime she left the house she had a full face of makeup and her curly hair was pulled into tight, beautiful, golden ringlets. She enjoyed having the effect that she did over men. She enjoyed watching them drool over her and she also enjoyed testing her limits to see what she could get them to do for her.
"Guess who got us free coffee?" She winked at me as she took her seat across from me.
"God, you're awful." I couldn't help but laugh and somewhere deep down I felt slightly jealous. She just smiled and got back to texting on her phone.
I glanced down at my phone and stared at the empty screen only to find my tired, gray, eyes staring back. A strand of my dark hair slipped into my eyes and I tucked it back behind my ear.
"Here is your coffee for you two lovely ladies." The barista sat our coffee down on our table- not breaking eye contact with Caddie. She blew him a kiss as he walked away, making him blush and turn around quickly, only to slam into someone behind him.
"Cheers." She snickered as she picked up her cup of coffee and gently tapped it against mine. "So what do you want to do after this?" She looked at me from over the brim of her cup.
"I have such a big exam to study for tomorrow... " I trailed off.
"Fine. We can just go to your place and hang out. That work?" She smiled.
"I uh... well.. yeah. That works." I didn't have the heart to say no. I hadn't seen her in a few weeks and she was really counting on me for this stupid coffee date and of course, I was late. I owed her at least a few extra hours.
We finished our coffees while maintaining a steady stream of conversation. She asked me how college life had been treating me, I asked her the same. While I was working my butt off to maintain decent grades, she was out with her sorority and her "sisters". I didn't really understand the whole concept, but clearly it was something important to her so I simply smiled and nodded. As we stepped outside into the dim streets she let out a shiver.
"You really need to start dressing for the weather." I scolded her with an eye roll.
"Um.. I am?" She motioned to her glamorous outfit and struck a pose. As I climbed into my seat I reached behind me and tossed her a blanket that I had in the backseat. "Thanks, girl." She quickly wrapped herself in the blanket before sliding into the passenger seat.
"So what kind of classes are you taking?" Caddie asked.
"Mostly gen ed's. I wanna get that stuff out of the way before I figure out where to go from there. How about you? What have you been thinking?"
"Ehh.. I dunno, El. This whole college thing really isn't my.. thing. Ya know? I'm just taking the classes my parents got me enrolled into." That was the type of girl she was. The type of girl she always had been, ever since we were little. She resented school, but her parents had high hopes for her- telling her about how she would be a lawyer or a doctor one day. And out of spite of them wanting the best for her she just.. gave up. I wished I could be afforded the same luxuries. The luxuries of not really needing to give a shit. But the truth was that I wasn't. With it just being my mother and I, I had to work my butt off to pay for every class I was enrolled in. After a few minutes of silence Caddie tried to get the conversation going again.
"So.. how's going to the gym with my brother been going for you?" There was a joking tone to her question.
"I mean, it's going good. Cole is kind of a hard ass, though. You wouldn't believe how upset he was when I told him that I wouldn't make it tonight."
"Right... I'm sure that's why he's upset. Because you took a "rest day"". She said the last bit with air quotes.
"I... Oh, shut up." I couldn't help but laugh. Caddie started giggling along with me. Since we were young she has been trying to set me up with her twin brother. The three of us were the best of friends growing up and I suppose the same could still be said to this day. I had made it more than clear to her that Cole and I certainly weren't interested in each other in that way, but she never seemed to let up.
A few minutes later my '99 Toyota Corolla was rolling into the driveway.
I heard her screams as we made our way up the walkway to the house.
"Caddie... stay out here. I'll get you in a minute."
I threw myself through the door as a lamp crashed against the wall beside me.
"Mom? Ma, where are you?" I shouted. My eyes darted across the living room - the furniture was turned over, pillows disemboweled, my mother nowhere in sight. Slowly my feet carried me further into the house, my ears straining to hear where she may be hiding.
"Mom, you've got to come out. It's just me." I called out again, finally coming to a stop in the hallway.
"Get out, get out, get out!" She hissed.
She was a flash of blonde hair and thin limbs as she collided with me. Her arms swung haphazardly, trying their best to land powerful punches on me, but instead it only made her more difficult to hold onto. I did my best to wrap my arms around her in an effort to contain her wild limbs. When I finally had her mostly subdued I let my body slide down the wall, taking her with me. She fought for only a few more moments before she became still.
"I heard them, I swear I did. They were here. God, they were everywhere." She sobbed while I rocked her back and forth.
"I know, ma. I know. But they're gone now. They're all gone." I reassured her. My hand ran through her hair, working gently through some knots.
"What if they're still here..?" Her breathing started to grow heavier with panic setting back in.
"I checked. They're gone... I promise." My mother raised her tear-filled eyes to meet mine before slowly nodding her head and laying it back to rest on my shoulder.
"How about you draw yourself a bath and I'll get some dinner started?" I suggested before loosening my grip on her. The only answer I got was a simple nod before she was up and on her way to the bathroom where I heard the squeak of the tub faucet being turned on. I let myself stay with my back pressed against the wall for a few more moments before pushing myself off of it and making my way back to the front door.
"Hey. Is everything alright?" Caddie asked, peeking around me to get a look at the torn apart living room behind me.
"Yeah. Things should be good now. You can come on in." I knew better than to apologize to her for the state of the house or my mother's condition. Caddie had been around since the beginning. Since my mother's health started it's slow decline, since her outburst turned more frequent, since she started forgetting.
Caddie made her way into the house and I started heading for the kitchen.
"I told mom I'd make some dinner. What are you feeling?"
"Literally anything. I am starving!" Caddie called out from the other room. I could hear gentle shuffling, the sound of things being rearranged.
"Caddie! Leave that stuff be, I'll take care of it."
"Girl. I'm not just going to sit here while you cook and clean. Just shut up and get back to cookin', good lookin'." Caddie called back.
Lazily I browsed between the cupboards in an effort to find anything capable of being salvaged into a meal. My eyes landed on a box of noodles and some sauce and I quickly made up my mind. Spaghetti it is.
The meal was easy. And frankly, one of the few things I knew I could cook without messing up. It would be thought that at twenty two years old I would have better cooking skills but it was hard to know better when I didn't grow up with a mother that was capable of taking much care of herself, let alone me. As a child, meals usually came in the form of quickly heated stove top soups and hot dogs. Not much that could be done wrong. I didn't mind. It just made it all the more easy for me to learn.
A couple of fond memories of my mother teaching me some of my minimal cooking skills played in my mind as I pulled the necessary pots and pans from the cupboards and tossed them onto the stove to warm up.
"Elaine?" My mom called out from down the hall.
"Yeah, ma?" I called back out to her. I hurried down the hall and into the bathroom, finding my mom bracing herself up against the side of the tub.
"Can you please help me out of the tub, baby? I can't get up." My mom asked. Shame laced her words and she hung her head low, unwilling to look me in the eyes.
"Mom, yes. Of course. Come here.. Give me your arm." I gently grabbed her by the bend of her elbow while my other hand held hers. "Let me grab you your bathrobe. Just sit here for a second." I gently helped her down so that she sat at the edge of the tub. After moving across the hall to her room and grabbing her robe I came back and helped her push her arms into it. My mother's shoulders hung low, as if they had the weight of the world weighing them down. She was frailer now- somehow even more so than when I saw her just this morning. Her once beautiful, but now strained, deep green eyes were sunken in, watching me. I knew her thoughts, and yet she sat still, wordless
"So.. Mom.." I started, grabbing a hairbrush and slowly pulling it through her hair. "Caddie came over to hang out. I was thinking the three of us could eat some dinner and start up a movie? How would you like that?"
"I think I would really enjoy that." She said, her voice raspy from what I could only assume was due to all of her screaming.
"Alright then. You finish up in here, and I'll finish dinner. Let's meet up in the living room when we're done." I smiled down at her and gave her a quick kiss on the head before making my way back down the hall to the kitchen.
Dinner was done in only a few minutes. After setting the table I made my way back to the living room. Caddie had almost entirely erased the fact that the house was nearly torn apart only 30 minutes earlier. Stuffing was put back into the pillows, lamps were set back into place, dirt from a knocked over plant was cleaned up.
"You're a lifesaver, you know that? Thank you." I pulled Caddie in for a tight hug.
"Anything for my BFF. You know that." She squeezed me back.
"Dinner smells yummy." My mom called from the kitchen.
Caddie and I made our way into the dinning room where I had food set out.
"Thanks for having me over, Ms. Davis." My mom snapped her head up when she heard her name.
"What have I told you about calling me that? You know better." My mom laughed.
"You're right, Rebecca. I'm sorry. You would think that after being around for the last sixteen years that I would have it figured out by now." Caddie bantered back.
Dinner was nice. Polite chatter filled the dining room while the three of us kept up a pleasant conversation. Afterwards we all made our way to the living room where we set up for a movie night.
"Wanna just crash here?" I asked Caddie.
"You read my mind."
With that, we all settled onto the couch. With the lights off, our snacks ready, and the movie started I couldn't help but feel some sort of peace. For the first time in a long while. Although, the peace didn't last long before I saw a shadow rush across the other side of the room. And then another.
I snuck a glance at my mom to make sure her eyes were still on the tv.
They weren't gone.
They never had been, and likely never would be.
But at the moment... there was some peace. And that would have to do for now.

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 01, 2022 ⏰

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