Allies and Enemies

Chapter Sixteen: Identity and Vulnerability

I still couldn't believe my eyes. My best friend, someone who understands, a girl who I consider my sister, thought to be dead. Alive. I was too tired, tried not to fall asleep, then did. It was horrible. I saw people laughing, and cackling as I writhed in chains. I made eye contact with one of them. Sophie. I woke up drenched in sweat.

"Saqqara..." I said, hugging her to my chest in her pine marten form. "Why? Why is this happening to me?"

"Consider it a compliment," Saqqara said. "You're a major threat to them."

"And my best friends and my family have to die so evil can get to me," I said, my voice fading out in the end. "I used to be so alone. Hardly had any friends, only my mom. Even that faded in the end. Then I had friends. They were the people in my life. Some of them even became my actual family. Then... they started falling out of my life. Until I'm here today." Saqqara scampered out of my arms and nestled on my shoulder. I sighed.

"You're not alone, though," Saqqara said. "You have so many friends, people to fight for and with. You aren't alone."

"You're forgetting yourself," I smiled slightly, but it faded almost instantly.

"Come on, let's go for a walk," Saqqara said, changing into an exotic small bird with bright colors and perching on my shoulder. I shrugged, then stood up and walked out. I walked along the bright corridors and turned randomly. I could hear a couple of snores of people who were completely passed out. I heard a couple of strings of music before that drifted off as well. As I turned aimlessly, I realized just how big the complex was. Suddenly, I felt one of the worst feelings possible. Someone had touched Saqqara. My legs refused to move, so I fell to my knees, pretty much at the mercy of whoever had touched my dæmon, whether accidentally or purposefully. Saqqara was wheezing slightly.

"Are you okay?" the person asked. Definitely accidental. I turned. I couldn't tell who it was through the slight blurriness of my vision, but I could tell from the voice. Legolas.

"I'm fine," I replied, getting up and brushing myself off. "How did you find me? I've been wandering a bit aimlessly, and even I have no idea where I am."

"You passed by my quarters a little bit ago," he replied.

"Well, what do you need?" I asked.

"I've been wondering, who are you, exactly?" Oof. That was a tough question. To be honest, I was created for so many purposes that I don't know which ones I've fulfilled and which ones lay ahead of me."The Elves hardly know you. All we know is that you've dropped in and helped us win a couple of battles with far fewer casualties than we originally planned for. However, we don't know who you truly are, where you come from, or your past. I simply want to know who we are putting our faith in." I stared. I hadn't thought about this happening, and I realized it was a result of my hubris, my pride. Then I realized what he said. Your past.

"Listen," I said. "I'm not talking about my past. Hardly anyone knows what it's about, and I'm not gonna go spill it. But here's the deal. I'm the girl who's faced trauma. I'm the girl who has no family. I'm the girl who had no friends. I'm the girl who came from the gutter. I'm the girl who thought she had it all, but lost it a couple years later." I was speaking in a harsh whisper now. "But you know who I became? The girl who rose above it. The girl who perseveres. The girl who saved the galaxy. The girl who wants to save it again. The girl who is the spark of hope, the girl who will ignite the flame, the fire of the rebellion. It's just like you said. All we need is a chance to keep going. I will be the chance. I will take it upon myself to be that chance. I will be the one who carries the army on her shoulders. I will be the one to take the stand. I will be the one to sacrifice it all." And with that, I walked away, Legolas staring at me. I did my best to retrace my steps and found myself right back in front of my room again.

"Oh Saqqara," I sighed. "People think it's so easy, but it's not. When your authority is questioned like that... your pride deflates, pricked like a needle in a balloon."

"You stood up for yourself," Saqqara assured me. "You showed him who you are." I shrugged.

"All right, 'Qara," I said. "Thanks for that."

"Don't thank me, thank yourself." I walked into my room and sat down on my mattress once more. I had shown someone who I was. They wouldn't doubt again.

"But Saqqara," I asked, "All it took was a brush on your shoulder and we fell. We're vulnerable with you."

"So you're gonna let me go again?" Saqqara asked a little timidly.

"Never," I assured her. "No one could ask for a better dæmon."