Hush Baby, Hush

A Little Bit Off

Possibly the most terrifying thing (besides the fainting episode) had happened to me again. Thanks to the cool weather however, I was able to hide the slash marks again by way of a long black sleeved sweater.

Shawna pulled up to my house twenty minutes later than she should have and laid her hand heavily on my cars horn as if I were the one who had molasses on the bottom of my feet. Thanks to a lack of a certain automobile I didn’t have to take my bratty sibs to school, instead their beauty queen of a mother shuffled them off in her pretty little Miata and drove off into the early morning.

I gave Shawna a thin-lipped smile ( it was all I could muster) took the keys from her open faced palm and slid into the driver’s seat as she climbed over the gears lodged awkwardly between the two seats over to the passenger’s side. Conversation was short, but bearable. I couldn’t slip up about those weird dreams again and I definitely couldn’t confided in her about the fresh new welts.

As much as I wanted to….I couldn’t trust her. Sadly so because she was my best friend.

We walked quickly from my car into the school, the cool wind nipped at my bare neck and I dug my hands deeper into my pockets as she rambled.

“But I was thinking that maybe instead of ditching Halloween completely we could raid my mamas liquor cabinet.” She laughed to herself and I gave her an unconvincing smile, “Remember when we got drunk off our ass and you almost kissed Josh?”

I didn’t but for her sake I nodded and worked on my locker combination. Advisory had began five minutes before and we were just as sure as dead. Might as well kill time for the hell of it.

Prolongation of imminent death.

“Crystal,”

I nodded gently just to let her know that I was listening.

“Are you still mad at me?”

I shrugged. The locker sprang open.

“No fo’ real, are you still mad at me? I was just looking out for you I swear.”

Yeah I understood all of that, she was so adamant in her claim to being a good friend. I just wished she had kept her big mouth shut.

“It doesn’t even matter,” Like a magnet my eyes were drawn to the lone notebook sitting in the bottom of my locker. It was the only thing there, three pronged, a fading red, thin and weathered.

“You were right,” Entranced, my arm made it’s way into the locker, my finger tips brushed against the surface.

A tingle, or a gentle shock rather gathered in the delicate nerves of the affected hand and traveled up my arm. Stilled for a fraction of a second I gazed at the notebook and the gentle shock faded away as quickly as it had came. I wrapped my hand around the edge of the notebook and tucked it under my arm.

Locked against my waist the notebook warmed my side,a scent much like that of musky vanilla drifted to my nostrils and I inhaled deeply. I couldn’t understand why, but holding the notebook, having it pressed against my body felt right.

But I kept that to myself and peered up at Shawna’s crestfallen face. She’d captured the corner of her bottom lip with her front teeth and had her arms crossed tightly against her chest.

I slammed the locker shut, transferred the notebook to my chest and wrapped my arms in a nurturing manner around it, “I was wrong.”

Dangerously wrong.

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Logical explanations are hard to come by when welts are obviously the by-product of cuts.