Hush Baby, Hush

His Hazel Eyes

Shawna stuffed a forkful of primavera pasta in her mouth as her eyes bore holes into the side of Natalie’s head. Her  long blond tinged dreads hung around her dark brown face like Medusa’s own tendrils, she pushed a stray loc behind her studded ear, “When are you going to drop that bitch?”

She faced me on the word bitch.

I shrugged, allowed my bony shoulders to rise and fall as my own eyes drifted to the other side of the  cafeteria where the infamous pair giggled and gave each other love pats. Austin leaped up from his seat and grasped her from behind as she held his cellphone in the air. She stuffed the sleek iphone into her v-neck bloused and stuffed it deeper into her bra.  Austin dared to lean over, his arms bulged slightly as he pretended to choke her, instead he pressed a kiss against her cheek and allowed his fingers to delve into her blouse.

“Nothing I can do about it,” My eyes drifted back and overcome with all sorts of emotions I propped my left elbow onto the faux wood table and pressed the left side of my head against my palm, “Nothing I can do.”

No matter how much I tried he would always choose her over me, though I was there first. I was always there first. He loved me first and then when she saw him and he saw her--- It was over.

My entire summer had been wasted on a guy who chose my best friend over me. And she allowed him.

“That. Bitch,” My true best friend stabbed at her pasta as she fumed across the table. Her small slender body shook with each force and stab of the fork, “and she calls herself a friend?”

While she fumed old memories pulled me away from reality and I acquiesced.

“Where do you want to go?” Austin peeped his head out of the sun roof of his jeep and continued until his thick arms were pressed against either side of the black roof.

I bit my lip trying to suppress that crazy smile of mines I got whenever he was around. His Kool-Aid grin was infectious though and I felt my lips began to spread apart into a smile that mimicked his own. My palm connected to my mouth though in embarrassment and I turned to the side to hold back the nervous giggle.

His yellow shirt billowed in the hot wind, lately he’d had a thing for extra large t-shirts. He braced himself, pressed his palms harder against the car and lifted his entire body up repeatedly. Up and down up and down, “You coming or not?”

God.

It took all the courage for me to drop my hands and actually look at him. Completely. I rubbed my palms against my apron and looked at my car. My sad baby sat there pitiful like almost as if she knew mama would be gone for awhile. I’d just gotten off in work and although Austin had bad timing whenever he chose to drop by, I was ok with that.

Behind me the restaurant bustled with customers, I could hear classical music drifting out each time someone left. I turned around back to him and crossed my arms with a involuntary smile, “What about my car?”

Austin being Austin had an answer for everything, “I’ll follow you home.”

“So you can pick me up?”

“Yeah,” he piqued, “I want to show you something. I found it by my brothers grave site the other day and I thought it was cool.”

Once again I chewed at my lip. He usually grimaced whenever he spoke of his dead brother, but that day he smiled. Maybe it was good, maybe going to the grave site wouldn’t be so bad.

It wasn’t romantic, but it meant more time with him.

Those memories came and went each time leaving me a bit more tired than before. I shut my ear to the laughs and giggles of the Natalie and Austin and tapped at my phone. Twelve thirty two p.m. glowed.