Kissing in the Rain

Page Three of Chapter Two: A Novel Thing

Gabriel was on his way to church one afternoon. It was 14 days since he and Sandra split asunder. He felt remorseful, but he was moving on now. He had decided that dating wasn't his thing. He thought that he would like people forever and love them like how you ought to, but he felt as though romantic love was too burdensome to possibly enjoy. The arguments, the disagreements, the redundant fights, and the hardships. He was weary of romance. It had burned him with Julia, and the most recent romance burned someone more than it did him, and he felt dreadful for that. He had hurt someone and had almost caused them to lose their dignity. He felt shameful whenever he recalled it. Romance was too much of a heavy burden that he figured he was better off without. 

Once Gabriel entered the church, he saw his friend, Khaleel. 

"Hey, man." Greeted Khaleel benevolently. 

"Hey, Khaleel." Replied Gabriel affably. 

"How are you doing?" 

"I'm alright. How are you?" 

"I'm good." 

"Um, where is Sandra?" Inquired Khaleel. 

Gabriel inhaled and held in his breath for a moment as he thinned his lips. 

"Oh... Sorry, those are always tough." 

"It really is my own fault though. I liked another woman."

"Gabe, no."

"Yeah." 

"Who? Does she go here?" 

"I wouldn't know. I don't even know her name."

"What? How could you like another woman whose name you don't even know?"

"It's a little complex. It really doesn't make sense. That is why I have decided to never date again. I want to be romantically alone. It is better for everyone involved."

"Why would you say that? We are meant to have wives."

"Some, not all. I'm 32 now, I really don't think I am one of those men who are destined for marriage."

"Isaac got married to Rebekah at 40 years old." 

"True, but that was different. The generations that God promised Abraham was riding on him having a wife."

"How do you know that God doesn't have generations riding on you to have a wife."

"I don't know. Maybe I'm not that special."

"Jesus was pierced in the hands, feet, and side, offered pee for drink when He said He was thirsty, spat on, and mercilessly killed just to save you."

"Yeah, and all of humanity."

"The salvation that God gives us is universal and personal. It is for everyone, yet it is intimate for everyone. He loves all of us individually and equally like we're the only ones He sees." 

Gabriel paused. "Thanks, Khaleel. I really do appreciate you reminding me of that. Sometimes, I need to remember that."

"Of course. We are the church of God, I love you. I don't want you to fall away or be discouraged. Pray for direction, Gabriel. And don't harden your heart to God's plan for you. Just be patient, alright."

"Alright." Gabriel nodded his head and internalized the words spoken to him. He felt special in that moment, for he felt as though God had used Khaleel to speak to him. Gabriel whispered a prayer of thanks and then service began soon after. It was truly ironic, yet it was on purpose how the service was literally about marriage and the importance thereof. Gabriel wept behind his hands.

Service ended hours later, and Gabriel knew he needed to speak with God. Ever since Gabriel had been with Sandra, he had felt greatly distracted from his relationship with God. Sandra would do things that contradicted the faith, and she had no intention of correcting it. She wasn't virtuous like how she seemed to be the night that Gabriel had first encountered her. Gabriel wondered if that was his fault. 

On his drive home, he listened to worship music as he thought about what Khaleel had said to him. "Pray for direction, Gabriel. And don't harden your heart to God's plan for you." Gabriel. He felt as though his name was being whispered into his ears, into his heart. 

Soon after the drive, Gabriel arrived at his apartment and went into his bedroom and prayed. He told God everything, he apologized to God for sinning and for getting distracted, he apologized for making God a third wheel and not a priority in his previous relationship, he apologized for how he treated Sandra and how he treated Julia, he told God all about he and Julia's relationship along with their dealings, he told God about the huge fight which, in effect, led to a heart-wrenching breakup between he and Sandra two weeks ago, and he told God about his love for the woman whose name he still did not know, and he told God how he just wanted to be romantically alone, he told God that he felt like romance and marriage was a curse and that it distracted him from Him, and he felt like he were better off just being single with God. He told God everything that he held in his heart, and he wept. He wept, and he wept, and he wept. And in the midst of all of that, he felt immense, satiating, fulfilling, pulchritudinous, lovely, and serene peace.