Deleterious

Chapter 12

"Off to work then, sir?" the driver is the same as usual. Same cordial expression, same black tuxedo, and the same question that's asked every morning. Everything unravels as it normally does. The only out-of-ordinary event is his unexpected tardiness.

"Yes, thanks." Hanseo tried to chalk up this sense of normalcy as further evidence that last night had been nothing but a dream. Some things couldn't be denied: the pain, the bruises—these were tangible reminders of what had happened. It would be a painful denial to argue that some form of intimacy hadn't occurred with someone the night prior. However, whether or not that person had been him was a riddle he couldn't solve. If it had been, wouldn't there have been some noticeable change? Everything felt so normal. There was no recognizable shift in the universe, which was what he had imagined would happen if...

This isn't denial; it's a rational, well-thought-out explanation. It's honestly obvious, drunken minds have the ability to conjure up scenarios, making you remember things differently or not at all. His drunken mind must have fabricated this illusion while he was occupied with someone else. In all honesty, he couldn't put it past his imagination.

He shook his hand in front of his face, trying—and failing—to shoo away all the troubling thoughts.

I guess there goes my virginity...

"Oh..."

"What was that sir?" 

He waves him off, "It's nothing."

There wasn't a special moment he was waiting for. There was no grand goal to save it for someone special. Since he was younger, he had always taken up such a large part of my life. There was barely any time to look at anyone else, let alone sleep with them.

Before he could dive further into this thought, the Babel building came into view.

Whatever.

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"Sir? I thought you weren't coming in today." Sunghee has a slightly shocked expression, it's different. She's never looked at Hanseo as if he didn't belong here before. 

"I understand I was running late, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't show up." 

The secretary straightens up, as if she's suddenly been reminded of her position "But sir, you sent an email this morning stating you wouldn't come in today." 

Oh

Instead of dwelling on who could have sent that email, Hanseo focused on convincing the secretary that he had simply had a change of heart. Once he left the apartment—no, once he walked into this building—his mind was made up. Last night had been a drunken mistake with a random stranger. What happened then was in the past, and it was time to move on.

"Ok then," he let out a deep breath before burying himself in papers that only needed signing. 

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After a few hours there's a light knock at the door, "Come in."

"Good afternoon, sir." Though she hadn't been around long, Hanseo had quickly come to appreciate Sunghee. Her professionalism was evident, but it was her kindness, woven into every action, that truly stood out.

"This morning you received an email from President Hwang Min Seong." 

Hansen's confusion was eviden, "Hwang Min Seong is the president of Shinkwang Bank. It's a well established company that's gained a lot of traction recently." Shinkwang Bank definitely rang a bell. 

 "According to his email, he would like to 'discuss steps that could be taken to strengthen the relationship between Babel and Shinkwang bank'." 

"Interesting..." Hanseo has never been allowed to make these type of decisions, or any decision. Usual protocol involves saying 'He'll check it out in more detail later' which translates to 'He'll see what Han Seok will say about it'.

"Schedule a meeting with him, preferably this upcoming Thursday ." He will divert from protocol this time. It's a clear blessing that Han seok hasn't contacted all day, it could almost be viewed as merciful, even if that's not a trait he's ever possesses. Why mess it up by calling first? It's a simple meeting anyhow, Hanseo will show up, listen, and leave.  

"I'll get it done right away, sir." After she left, he glanced at the digital camera above the door. With a slightly shocked expression, he took a moment to really notice the enveloping darkness surrounding him. As if his body had just remembered the time, a yawn escaped his lips.

Okay, it's time to go.

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It felt like Hanseo had been in this exact situation too many times. A terrifying mix of fear and nervous excitement gripped him as he stood at the front door of his own house, unable to make the move to enter. This built-in trigger, a visceral reminder of past incidents, shook him to his very core every time he came home after an unsettling event. He couldn't entirely blame himself for this fear. Each time he opened the door, he dreaded finding someone waiting there—someone with a wet towel around his neck and sweatpants, a sight he had encountered so often that it now filled him with dread.

With a long, exhausting sigh, Hanseo's shaky fingers reached for the door handle. He opened it slowly, only to be greeted by the unexpected relief of an empty hallway. He felt a pang of foolishness for having been so anxious, shaking like a leaf outside his own door. The lights were off just as he had left them, and the only sound was his own uneven breathing.

A strange yet familiar sensation settled in the pit of his stomach—a confusing blend of inexplicable relief and frustrating disappointment. The frustration stemmed from the fact that he felt any disappointment at all.

Too exhausted to dwell on these jumbled emotions, Hanseo found himself in bed just ten minutes after stepping inside his home, completely spent and ready for the day to end.

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