Heartstopper Imagines

Nick Nelson BSM

(You're Nick Nelson's sibling and you are struggling with your gender identity, when Nick and Charlie overhear you singing this song. Age: 15)

Y/n's POV

It was a Friday afternoon and I just got home from band practice. Charlie wanted to hang out with Nick so he walked me home. When we got to my house Charlie went to the den where Nick was and I ran upstairs to my room.

I opened my laptop and started looking up quizzes on gender identity. People at band were talking about different gender identities and I've been struggling lately with how I am and my body image, in a gender way. I took a quiz and the result was genderfluid. I decided to research it and when I saw the definition, I think it might be me.

Then I go to my gender dysphoria playlist and the song that comes on is Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. I start to sing the lyrics, realizing how much I relate to them. "And I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand." I sing and start to cry because I hate keeping secrets but I'm scared of the hate I'll get if I tell people.

"When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am." Why am I like this? Why can't I be a normal teenage girl.

Nick's POV

Me and Charlie were watching a Marvel movie. I know he doesn't like them that much but he agreed to watch one with me if he got to pick the movie next time. I start to hear singing and crying so I pause the movie. All we hear is, "And I don't want the world to see me, 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am." It has to be y/n since no one else is home. 

"Char does she sound upset to you too? Or is it just me?" I ask him. "No she does sound upset. You should go check on her." Charlie says, sounding quite concerned as well. I go upstairs to knock at y/n's bedroom door and I hear sobbing and a quiet "come in."

Y/n's POV

When the song ends, I hear a knock at my door. I'm crying but I quietly say, "come in." Nick opens the door and he looks at me really concerned. "Sorry if I was too loud, I didn't mean to ruin you and Charlie's hang out." I say nervously. "Y/n you didn't ruin anything. Tell me what's going on please. Did someone hurt you? Did Ben do something or Harry?" He asks me really concerned about why I'm crying.

"No no they didn't do anything. It's just..." I don't know why I'm so scared to tell him, I know he's bi and he's accepting of Elle who's trans. I guess it's just different since he's my big brother. "I think I might be genderfluid." I tell him. "What does that mean?" He asks, but he doesn't seem angry he seems like he really wants to understand. "Basically it means at different times I feel like I'm a girl, but other times I may feel like a boy, and sometimes I feel like neither." I explain to him.

Then I feel him pull me into a tight hug. "I love you so much and thank you so much for telling me. If you need anything I'm here. Do you want to tell anyone else?" I'm so happy he's so supportive. "I want to tell Charlie since he is here but other than you guys I'm not ready to come out yet." I say. "OK that's perfectly fine. Let's go tell him together." "Ok"