A Shattered Dawn

Chapter 15

I struggle to open my eyes. My headaches have been consistently getting worse over the past few days. I have had no luck in finding the blade, and I have continued to lose hope. Not only in finding the blade, but also in finding my parents' killers. I am dangerously close to taking the next train and leaving all of this behind. The pressure in my head is building.

To my surprise, Adrian is laying next to me in our bed. He has not awoken yet and I move carefully so as not to disturb him. I treat myself to a warm shower letting the water cascade off my shoulders and soak into my hair. I use a different scented soap, this time a refreshing lemon scent. I'll never get used to the exquisite products here. I push open the door, still wrapped in a towel, and, to my surprise, Adrian greets me. It shouldn't be a surprise at this point, since it seems whenever I shower he stands waiting outside the door for when I emerge. He smiles when he sees me, asking how I slept.

"What's going on today? You're usually gone by now."

I am fully awake now, but Adrian still looks half asleep.

"I don't know, I was tired this morning.: He walks past me, kissing my forehead. That's another thing I'll never get used to.

"Let's get breakfast, Acilya, and I want to take you shopping today. I feel like we haven't seen each other at all lately."

I smile, nodding.

"That sounds great."

I change into a clean outfit and wait for him to finish showering, sitting on the plush armchair near the window. I twist my hands in my lap. I haven't seen Fallon around, and I feel unsafe—less secure, when I am not around him. I wish I didn't get attached to him so easily—he's just a servant. I can't help but miss his reassuring voice though, his ideas and plans.

Soon enough, Adrian emerges from the shower, half-naked. I smirk at him. I'd rather not reminisce about our nights together. The sooner this is all over, the better. But now, I don't even know if I can get out of here, after hearing Lucia's account of his possessiveness. He dresses, offering me his hand. So much of a gentleman, but I can't help but wonder what lies underneath—the possessive, jealous creature he hides until someone tries to leave him. I may have to fight my way out after all.

After a walk to breakfast together with a mix of silence and awkward small talk, I practically sigh in relief when we finally reach the dining hall. I pick at my food. I have been less and less hungry as the days go on. As I eat, I frequently catch Adrian looking at me. He does not look at me like he looked at me that first night—like he wanted to devour me, but rather looks at me as though I am his and will be forever. It is control in his eyes. I try to keep the fear from mine.

Thankfully, he finishes his food, but unfortunately, I remember that I will be spending the rest of my day with him. I mentally groan.

We head outside to a larger carriage, able to accommodate multiple people, and he does not sit across from me, but rather next to me. As we begin to move, he drapes his arm over my shoulders while I try to keep myself from shaking.

I close my eyes and try anything to ease my headache, but I cannot sleep. Not here, with him so close to me. It is hard enough, late at night, to fall asleep. Sometimes it feels as though I am bargaining with demons, only to allow me to sleep for a few hours. And when I can sleep, I no longer wake with the sunrise. I have become lazy and reliant on everything and everyone here.

To my surprise, Adrian falls asleep on my shoulder, and his breathing becomes slow. He looks so vulnerable when he sleeps. I have always been fascinated by watching people sleep, whether I am about to kill them or I wake up next to them. That is why sleeping is what I dread the most. The vulnerability, the lack of control... maybe Adrian and I are more similar than I thought.

We reach the city soon enough, and the halting carriage jars Adrian from sleep. He sits up fast, breathing in sharply, turning to smile at me. I'm tired of smiling back.

We walk through the heart of the city, and I try to ignore the glances and glares from passersby. Two guards trail behind us, close enough for protection but not so close to be distracting. It does feel odd to have eyes constantly on my back. That is usually my job—watching from a distance.

Walking through the nicer part of the city, the prices of the top–quality items make my jaw drop. As a thief, money has never been an issue for me, but I never spent one coin on useless, overpriced items. Adrian is used to this. He points out different dresses and bags for me as we walk, but nothing catches my eye. To please him, I walk into a smaller clothing store, browsing for the sole purpose of wasting time.

As I browse, I notice the older woman standing behind the counter at the back of the store, and a younger woman standing behind her. The spitting image of the older woman, they must be a mother and daughter. A pang of sadness hits me as I think that maybe my life would be something like this if my mother hadn't died.

I buy as much clothing as I can hold, to Adrian's delight. Supporting the business gives me happiness, even with the sadness of my past, and what my life could have been.

Instead of going right back to the carriage, we keep walking until Adrian finds the shop he was looking for–a high–end jewelry store. He tells me to wait outside, and shortly after, comes out of the store with a small paper bag.

"A gift for you, my love,"

He tells me, reaching into the bag and handing me a small box. It is a necklace, a golden chain with a teardrop diamond. It must be worth all the clothing I bought combined. I thank him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him in the middle of the sidewalk.

I imagine, while we walk back to the carriage, what we must look like to the citizens of this ancient city. A sweet couple, the Duke with a foreign woman...

I am appalled at the thought that some people might even be jealous of what we have.

The carriage ride back to the royal grounds is quiet and would be peaceful, even, if I were not fighting my instinct to jump out of the carriage and run far away. I couldn't arrive soon enough—I am desperate to put space between us. After we enter the main building, I quickly drop off the clothing in our bedroom and am in the process of formulating a believable lie in my head to get away from Adrian when he tells me that he is going to go train with his cousins.

I'm sure that is a lie, but I am thankful for it anyway. I can't stay in the stuffy room, so I wander the hallways instead, walking through areas I have not yet explored. I am walking through one of these halls, thinking about what I will do with my life once I get out of here, when I hear it. I wouldn't have been able to hear it were it not for my advanced hearing, but once it sounds again I know it was not a figment of my imagination. A roar from another building. The building with the courtyard that Adrian's cousins spoke of. Without thinking twice, I head for the nearest exit.

The other building seems to be nothing more than more dining rooms, banquet halls, and servants' quarters. And, as I expected, there is an expansive courtyard at the center of the square–shaped building, complete with the same pillars and intricate designs as the main building. I sit on a bench flanking a pathway in the courtyard when I hear it again. And this time, it is coming from directly below me.

I shoot to my feet in surprise. There must be a chamber beneath this building. I quickly head back into the building, searching for any staircase that leads downstairs.

After a few minutes of searching, I finally find one, nothing more than a narrow servants' passage. I tug a chain to turn on an ancient bulb, illuminating the staircase. It does not descend into the darkness like I anticipated it would, rather ends abruptly where a basement would naturally exist. The sounds are clearer now. I walk down the stairs slowly and carefully, taking advantage of my unnatural silence. I am greeted by a hallway, flanked by barred doors. A prison. More like a dungeon, actually. I hear someone approaching and turn on my heel, but I am too late. A guard yells at me from the end of the hallway.

"Hey! You're not supposed to be here!"

I run as fast as I can, skipping stairs to reach the top and slamming the door shut, taking off. For someone who prides herself on her bravery, I sure am good at running away.

By the time I reach the atrium of the main building, I have to force my breathing to slow. I need to work on my endurance again: Living here, and this pampered lifestyle, has made me weak.