7/6/22
"I love you".
He tells me.
But how can you love me, if I don't even love myself E?
"Your face, your personality, your voice".
"I love you".
Love pushes me away.
But I don't expect you to understand.
"I promise you I'm not leaving, I don't want to hurt you at all".
But why is it that your love hurts me?
More than anything.
It's unbearable.
Defeated by love aches my young, soft heart E.
"You're perfect to me".
"You're really the only thing that makes me happy".
But why?
Why do I?
Why do I question your love towards me?
Why don't i believe I could be loved?
I am not worthy of love, nor am i capable of it.
I don't want to hurt you.
That's my last intention.
But I do not deserve you either.
"I want to kiss you"
"You're mine, forever"
Why do I read your messages before I sleep?
To dwell on what we cannot have.
You live so far, yet your love for me disguises that.
You ask me if I love you.
And E, in another lifetime, I will.
Just not this one.
I'm yet to love myself.
I cannot love you.
Not now.
- B.
