Vamos Chamar Isso De Terapia

Capítulo 8 (inglês)

It's overwhelming to see your mind and body get back at you for not taking care of them the way you're supposed to. It's overwhelming to see that everything you have sacrificed to get what you want might not be enough. I woke up crying today, and I still don't know why, maybe it's because I'm anxious, or I have way too much to do. But when you think about coming back to your "normal" life after 2 years inside your house and developing social anxiety, it shouldn't be easy, but it shouldn't be this hard. Because after 2 years studying on my own rhythm, I have to go back to a class field with people, and like that wasn't enough, I started taking classes at night. Classes I didn't want to take, because I knew my brain wasn't prepared, and that it would break me. I kept getting more and more stuff to do, and I'm not being able to do it all. And what's funny, well not funny but surely ironic is the fact that the only thing I can quit is the only thing that's not taking any time and not stressing me out. I don't know how to make my mother see that, how to make her see that it's been too much for me, that I can't take it. I've tried a normal conversation but she didn't listen, she never does, not when it matters. Maybe she thinks she's doing what's best for me, but I'm sure getting a rash and anxiety attacks isn't something good.