Living & Surviving "HELL ON EARTH"

Chapter #9 "5 Steps Ahead"

"Preparation" a word that I've kept in my head for many years, how you prepare for life and all of its potential hardships, I think something that can heal and help lots of people around the world Is the simple fact that we all go threw so much similar struggles there's thousands of people who know what your feeling, know how your feeling and can relate on almost each and every level...."
For me honestly I think its hard for people to think about it like that "how can imagine that these other people know you feel but yet your still feeling like shit? Of course there's thousands and in fact millions of people who experience anxiety and depression and so many people respond to it differently and have different reactions some worse then others. When it comes to social media I honestly only love it mainly to read more then anything... when it comes to Mainly Twitter, Instagram, or simply just surfing the web looking up topics or subjects that take interest in, your supposed to be doing the shit that you love to do and or are passionate about, nothing less life's so short and can end in a blink of an eye... as humans and individual's to be more humble and appreciative of the beautiful things were fortunate to have I do know that and like I said well aware, the overall impact and thought process for this entire book in itself has been fucking fantastic and absolutely GOLD....
"In a previous chapter we talked about Preperation & Visualization two very important tools absolutely needed in life for almost anything, especially if your completing or assigned to important tasks, and not only that just for your own life in general, we started Visualization when our teachers in 1st Grade asked what we wanted to be when we grew up? My answer was the most basic ever, "Fireman" "Astronaut" um no and last but not least a "Doctor" I can tell you none of those were my answers then again how coherent are 1st grades when asked about what we want our career or life choice to potentially be, I've used my past and flaws and the negatives to improve my quality of life, meaning even tho I may of been hurt or wronged in life, all it did was make me sharper, more aware, smarter, wiser and has made it to where the chances of me being hurt a lot slimmer considering I can spot bullshit from a mile away, bad enough I can notice when shits off with someone's body language and or how they present themselves and or what I like to say first impressions. I never judge or assume but I observe always watched and visualized everything I do from the people I allow in my life to how I'm going to start my next day or spend my next paycheck or batter my life, when it comes to negative vibes or people you can most definitely feel when they are present and it's uncomfortable but if were talking modern day life, I am free I'm single in life, no kids no wife I owe nobody anything if anyones owed stuff its MYSELF the lack of attention I've given to myself or my mental health over the years has been a real unfortunate mess to start off the most important years of adulthood I'd say from 18-25 then shit gets serious I mean once I turned 18, I went straight to college and had intentions of working so that was what was important especially when all you've got is yourself. I'm not ashamed I looked out and watched out for people so much, I risked lots and was very aware of what was on the line l, I still had the heart and determination to go to battle and accept the result regardless of if it's good or bad we live learn and move along,
" Said this a numerous amounts of time but if we harp and negatively reflect on the past it only gets toxic.. especially when your ME for example and hold resentment and anger towards whatever individual.. that wronged you in the past... is it wrong to imagine what physical harm you'd do to a person who caused you pain and grief? That's dark but more people get lucky so cruising threw life and hurting, playing and breaking hearts, and get no punishment for ruining life's, yet we can't simply hand individuals ass whoopins or payback for the damage inflicted.

"I generally don't think about chaotic violence 24-7, however I do love to sleep well at night so when my moods are over I can just, hydrate and lay down eventually I fall asleep, just depends on how much energy was consumed during that specific day " I dedicate myself i work hard, at times i do wish my work and my talents were more recognized. I hate feeling used, that's what people have made me feel like over the years but like I said "Fuck You " to anyone whose wronged me....."
One thing we haven't mentioned yet is "KARMA" I've let that speak for itself over the years too, meaning if you made my life a living hell or hurt me karma will naturally come for you in some unannounced or random time.." who knows when but karma is forever undefeated....you treat people good & stay loyal then the entire process shall be beautiful and pleasant,  you get what you put into life, you simply can't expect anything especially not if your not gonna work for it or be realistic with yourself.. another thing that wildly baffles me is how people can live deep within their lies.. your living a lie your being someone your not truly within, it's disgusting that people have to try to impress and act fake as hell to impress others, that's why being real and truthful is all I want around me I don't have anymore time for any bullshit or any games, either be real or get the fuck out my life, that's a mentality that we need to adopt heavily.... I can live a happy healthy and efficient life not putting up with bullshit or games from other people because quite simple I just REFUSE to engage and or deal with anything or anyone that's negative or emotionally draining " Only deal with things and people that are beneficial for myself and my life.. I have sadly drained my time and energy over these long years but I'm not ashamed because I'm not the ones that did the damage nor do I go around hurting innocent people, seems like the thing's nowadays to hurt others let alone good people or individuals who love you &. have your back.
But in today's 21st century it does seem and appear to be that the most loyal, caring and committed individuals get treated the worst by people, it doesn't matter what trauma or what you have lost or faced, that's no excuse for treating the ones that have your back like shit. After so long you really stop giving a shit and or reacting towards people that are abusing you, for me personally that's why I've always been SOLO because nobody acts right. Age is just a number ive seen so many old ass individuals lack  MATURITY & ACCOUNTABLITY, at the end of the day its not my fucking problem especially if grown adults want to act like children.
People love to play the blame game infact most times that ive seen people get called out with the truth, and or facts they deny it openly but yet have no excuse or no explanation for their actions either then calling you mean names, cussing at you OR BRINGING UP YOUR PAST which is in my opinion a bitch move, also shows your insecurity within yourself, you need tob try and point fingers and bring someone else's past quite simply because your in the wrong and you just don't want to accept that your wrong..
I can say this humbly because I have been there in those shoes, I am not one of those people who just talks to just talk, I say things that stem from past experiences so I can relate to so many different things
means that I love to help people if I can but it hasn't always worked in my favor but you never give up on people or most importantly YOURSELF. There's boundaries to follow and never abandon and not everyone wants the help, I know this because I was once this way when I was young I refused it but, aa time went by I matured changed my way of thinking and my approach to life.