When I run

Oh stumble!

Beep! Beep! Beep!.......Beep! Be... I bang on my alarm for it stop irritating me by doing exactly what it was made for. I rolled on my back took a deep breath as I stare at the bedroom ceiling, I felt as if my alarm betrayed me, I felt as if it was out to get me, I felt as if it didn't care about how I would felt if it screamed at me to wake up. Why does it punish me everyday? My feelings are even more hurt because it's a damn alarm clock, it does exactly what it's supposed to do, it has no feelings! Never the less I'm hurt, so hurt, that I wanted to turn and go back to sleep because today is another day I get out of bed alone,depressed, and unhappy about every and anything.
I finally found the strength to barely pull myself out of bed and into the shower,I stood there as the warm water wash over my body as I cried over absolutely nothing. Nothing! I just cried until I feel just a little bit better about myself. After my shower,I wrapped the towel around me and slowly walked to my bedroom straight to the closet, I didn't know what to wear today and I didn't care, no one's going to notice me anyway, I'm the girl in the back that they always ask if I worked there, I'm the invisible one.
I threw a floral long sleeve blouse on the bed with a pink khaki pants which I decided I'll wear with my nude open toe flats. I went and sat in front of my mirror and look at the shell that hold my vital organs and such and I didn't like it. Why you ask? It's because I don't see me when I look in the mirror ,I see a dark cloud called depression and it's been here for the past four years just tormenting me day in day out but I must say because of it, I became a pretty good actress! Im able to smile,talk and go about my day outside like I'm the happiest person in the world but in reality all I want to do is get home and in bed so I can peacefully cry alone.
I finally got to work I stood there staring at the front door hand holding the strap of my purse thinking if I'll make it today , then telling myself that I can. I stepped inside with my acting face on ,took out my identification card and showed it to the greeting security guard, " Good morning Ms Satin! How are you?" I place my fake smile and quickly answered, " Good morning Mr Anderson, I'm good thanks!" Knowing damn well I'm dying inside but like I said, I got good at acting so I had a role to play. " How are you?" I asked out of courtesy because I really didn't care I just want to pass by as quickly as I can. " I'm great thank for asking." I smiled " Have a good day ma'am ." "You as well ." I replied in mid walk.
I got in a packed elevator seems everyone is late today but not me I have another two minutes before I'm considered late ,let's just hope this elevator doesn't stop at every stop. I finally got off with 30 seconds to spare I ran to the room and punched in gasping for air thinking to myself " I should get around to some working out again." After catching my breath I turned and walked out the office and stumbled right into a tall body of a man and, I couldn't tell you what he looks like because I was too busy saying sorry for knocking hot coffee on his chest and also on mine. He started yelling. "What the hell is wrong with you! Can't you see where you're going! Oh my God this is Hot!" I answered without looking up at this rude voice screaming at me. " You watch your mouth I'm not your friend and if you're going to walk with Hot coffee you should expect someone can turn in a second from somewhere, this is a damn office you jerk!" I kept talking as I try to take my belongs off the floor , I noticed the office was in quiet whispers but I kept running off the top of the mouth at this rude stranger, " I don't understand why you can be so rude to someone you don't even know because of and accident." When I finally looked up I was in shock. It was the Son of the CEO of Fricer Enterprise, the son of my boss. Oh shit!
He looked at me with such surprise as if he's disgusted by my attitude, hell at this point I was too but I just couldn't stop so I looked up him dead in his eyes and said , " Now if you'd excuse me I have work to start and you're making me late." I walked away scanning the work room thinking to myself don't look back. I didn't and I made my way to my desk , I felt the eyes of everyone staring at me, I finally looked back at the eyes that were still looking at me including him. I can see his jaw line moving from clenching his teeth together to hold his feeling back or from embarrassment but I didn't care anymore I was sure I was going to be fired. I turned and sat down took a deep breath and turned the computer on. " What are you all looking at?" I heard him ask, " Get back to work thank you." Then I hear everyone back to their routine. I placed my head on my desk when I heard his foot step walked away. I said to myself " Shit! I'm fired ."