In Love With THAT Twin...

Chpt. 45 I Know.

*Chloe's POV*

We kissed for what felt like eternity. And I'd be damned to say this, but I never wanted it to end.
As soon as he pulled back, everything hit me like a storm. We just kissed. For real this time. I cheated on Nick. I cheated on myself. He is not who I want. Nick is. Or is he?
Let's say I never got to answer myself because Justin spoke up.
"I'm sorry. I'll take you home"
That's all he said.
The entire car ride home was quiet. I had no idea what he was feeling. All I knew is the horror I saw in his eyes, after he pulled back. It showed exactly what he said. He was sorry.
As for me? I didn't know what to feel. I really didn't know. And this time, I wanted him to tell me what to feel. And guess what? He did tell me. He was sorry.
I walked out and he didn't even bother to say a word.
I walked back to my room and as soon as I closed the door behind me, I cried. I cried hard.
"He was sorry. He was fucking sorry! ", I threw my phone on my bed and continued crying and screaming.
He was the one who kissed me. He was the one who walked into my life. I was perfectly alright without him, but he had to make me want him. And now that I'm lost here, he's sorry! He's goddamn sorry.
I threw around anything and everything I could find. I had to vent out. I had to push Justin away. That's what he wanted.
Then why the fuck did he have to turn my world upside down?! Right when I thought everything was alright again, he kissed me and made things worse.
YOU DON'T JUST KISS SOMEONE AND THEN APOLOGIZE.
"You made me feel for you. I cheated on Nick because of you. I hate you Justin. I hate you so so much"

*
I woke up and gasped as soon as I took my surroundings in. All my clothes were thrown everywhere. The stuff from my study table was down on the floor, broken. Pieces of glass were scattered around and I thanked the Lord that Mom and Dad were in Paris for a business trip. They'd have a heartattack if they saw this.
The only thing that made me smile and my heart flutter was a simple yet precious text.
Nick : Hey. Just saw you come in through my window. Good morning sunshine ;)
Nick had been texting me a lot these days. Since the treat, him and me were back to being us again. It's like a rewind to our childhood.
And that's what told me that my decision was absolutely right. Nick was the one.
And this morning, he called me sunshine.
*cues heart's fluttering and going out the window*

I replied a Good Morning and then plugged in my phone to the speakers.
Avril's songs blared through it. Just what I need.
Let's get this mess cleaned up. Mom and Dad, thanks for coming later this night.
After about half an hour, I was busy picking up broken pieces of the glass pen stand I had.
"I liked this one. Oh man"
"I'll get you another one"
"Wha-OUCH"
The glass piece cut my finger, leaving a stream of blood oozing out.
"Hey hey lemme see that", he grabbed my finger and took a look at it.
"Where's the first aid kit?"
"None of your business", I snatched my hand away and walked to the bathroom, holding my finger out under the cold water.
I struggled with the band-aid when he pulled my hand into his again.
"I appreciate your need to be independent but right now, you should let me help you."
He put on the band-aid on my finger and then put the box away.
"Nice room", he chuckled.
"Jeez thanks. But you're not allowed here. Get out"
"I just helped you and you're being mean to me. That's bad muffin"
"Don't call me that. And I can be mean to you if I want. Don't tell me what to do"
"Someone's mad at me"
"Yeah I am"
"How about we get back to that later? Everybody is waiting for us at the mall. Let's go"
And that did it.
"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE INFURIATING. YOU'RE A JERK."
"They asked me to get you too. How does that make me a jerk? ", he asked calmly and it made me livid.
"YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. ARE YOU CRAZY OR ARE YOU CRAZY JUSTIN?!"
He just sighed and looked at me, face all poker.
"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO KISS ME. DO YOU GET THAT?! WHO IN THE WORLD KISSES SOMEONE THREE FUCKING TIMES AND THEN APOLOGIZES AND THEN ACTS LIKE A COMPLETE SHITHOLE?! ", I pushed his chest and he stumbled backwards, regaining his balance quickly.
"You're right. I'm a shithole"
"I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. DON'T YOU EVER COME NEAR ME AGAIN. I LOVE NICK. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?! YOU CAN'T CHANGE IT. SO STAY THE FUCK AWAY", I yelled out.
As soon as I spoke up those words, he grabbed my wrists and pushed me back against the wall, standing right in front of me so that I don't move. I was breathing super hard due to my ranting.
"That's the damn problem. I can't stay away from you. I just can't. So I find a way to talk to you. Even if that means I have to be a jerk."
"You-
He put a hand over my mouth shutting me up. I was mumbling profanities but hell, even I couldn't make anything out.
"I do not like him. I do not like the fact that he gets what I never can. And he doesn't even care. He hurts you and that makes me wanna go kill him."
My eyes widened at that. That's all testosterone speaking right? It has to be.
"But you don't see him. He's not the one for you Chloe. He doesn't deserve you."
I tried to push him off me but he won't budge.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being the jerk I am. But I'm not for once sorry for kissing you. I don't care anymore. I just don't. And I know you'd never love me. I know you can't love me here. I'm not good enough for you. But I won't let him hurt you. Even if that hurts me."
He was speaking to me in a low voice but every word he said, moved around into every single cell of my body. The way his eyes were looking right into mine, without any fear, scared the hell out of me. His eyes burned with passion and I knew. I knew what's coming next.
Oh God please don't.
"And I'm not sorry for doing this"
As soon as the words left his mouth, I felt his lips on mine. The butterflies in my stomach woke up again and my body was on fire.
I needed him. In a twisted way but yeah. He set my heart on fire but only he could put it out. The way his lips moved on mine, practically transferred the burning passion from his eyes into the kiss.
I felt my hands travel up to his head and I entangled my fingers into his hair. We moved in sync as he pulled me by my waist, closer to him.
I placed my other hand on the back of his neck while I felt his soft hair in my other. His one hand held me firmly on my lower back while the other traveled up to my shoulder blades, supporting me.
I was lost. And I didn't want to come back. I didn't want this kiss to end. Because I know what will happen next. I'd see the regret in his eyes and he'd walk away. Again.
When we pulled back finally, I didn't dare open my eyes. My chest was heaving up and down due to the lack of breathing but I didn't care. I had to do this. I have to make sure he knows.
"I-I love Nick"