Stuck between You and Him || heejaywon ✓

I'm sorry - yjw

A week later , Heeseung already rented an apartment for himself . He doesn't want to be a burden to Jake even though the younger insisted that he can stay . He's also ashamed of what he did a week ago . He shouldn't have said those to him . Now he feels awkward with Jake .

He also hasn't opened his flower shop more than a week already . And he bets his costumers are all wondering what had happened to him . He doesn't even left a note outside the shop . It feels like he just ditch his work over something very important . Well in fact , he was just broken hearted and wanted time for himself . It's still important though. Because there's no other thing that's important to him right now than himself .

Today he wants to be productive at least . Because he hasn't done anything aside from house chores and crying . It's hard , really hard but he must move on . Crying over someone who wouldn't comeback to you is a waste of time .

He traveled for about thirty minutes from his apartment to the flower shop that he owned . It's quite unusual since he doesn't take a bus whenever he goes to work . It's just a walking distance from his previous apartment . Well , it isn't his after all . Someone just took him in and was kicked out by that certain person .

Heeseung shakes his head to clear his thoughts . He shouldn't think about him .

Once he arrived at the doorstep of his shop , he noticed a white envelope inserted at the door creak . He opened the door to get the envelope that got stuck . He can't pick it since the whole thing was almost inside .

As the door opened , the envelope dropped on the floor . Heeseung picked it up immediately and furrowed his brows when he saw the name printed at the back of it . It is from Jungwon .

" Heeseung hyung .. ahh , I don't know how to say this but I'm really sorry . I really don't know that Jay already have a boyfriend and it's you among all the people that could he possibly be related.
I am really sorry I ruined your relationship but trust me I didn't mean to . I'm just clueless . He fooled me . He said his parents are homophobic that's why I can't contact him at night and can't publicized our relationship when it turns out , he is just hiding from you . I had a feeling before that he's lying over something . That some of what he said are not true . Maybe that's why . I should've followed my instincts . I should've background checked him . I'm just a fool who's blinded by my love for him and I'm deeply apologizing for what I've done . I am ashamed that I couldn't talk to you personally and apologize . I can't even text or call you since I broke my sim card so he and my workmates can't contact me anymore . I'm so sorry hyung . I'll reflect on what I did wrong . And please don't tell him I wrote you this . I'm leaving . So that I can forget everything that happened . I'm going home to my family . I never told him anything about it so I know he couldn't find me . Please hyung fix your relationship . I don't want you to suffer because of me . Please be happy .

I'll see you someday . And I hope when that day comes , you can forgive me . "

Jungwon

"Gosh why do you have to do this , Jungwon ?" He said as if Jungwon is there with him .

Actually even if Jungwon is the reason why Jay cheated on him , he can't hate him . Maybe at first , it's just normal but he already forgave him . It is true that Jungwon was got fooled by Jay . He doesn't know anything, he's innocent . Heeseung completely understands his side . The only person here to blame is Jay . The sore reason why everything wasn't as it used to be . He never thought that at the process of losing his boyfriend , he'll also loose a friend . Fuck his life .

He kept the letter on his sling bag ang proceeds to enter . He checks the plants if it's still okay since he hadn't taken care of it in a week . Good thing not all of them wilted or died . It'll be a huge loss to his business if all of it will go to waste .

He sorted the plants and flowers and throw all wilted and can't be sold . He'll be so busy today since he just got back to work . Maybe if he only just hired a helper , this will never be a problem to him . He should hire one soon .

---

Jay was on his car driving along the town in hopes that he'll see Jungwon at nearby places . The younger had quit his job and Jay was about to go crazy looking for him . It's been more than a week and he still hasn't seen him .

Almost everyday , he checks on the younger's apartment because maybe he'll come home but as the days goes by , he's sure that he wouldn't come home . Maybe he left for good .

Now , Jay couldn't think of a place that Jungwon would possibly go . If only he asked for his hometown , he wouldn't be like a crazy man roaming around .

He even asked their HR if he can see Jungwon's profile but they refused to tell him since it's confidential . Now , he's losing hope . Their head manager was scolding him because he couldn't focus on his job and always going out under time and warned him that if he couldn't get a higher sales this month , he could possibly be fired . But he doesn't care . He can apply to other companies . Right now , all he wanted is to find his boyfriend .

Then he thinks about Heeseung . The guy who he hurt emotionally and physically . The guy who he used to love . The guy who used to be his everything .

He's guilty for what he did to him . He shouldn't have hurt him that night . Now , his conscience is eating him up .

He knows to himself that he wants to find Jungwon because he loves him but a part of him is saying that he should be with Heeseung instead .

Well , if he'll choose the second one , he doesn't have a face to show to him . He's ashamed of what he did . And sorry isn't enough to pay back all he did wrong . He's so stupid . But then , if he'll comeback to Heeseung , he can't have Jungwon . The younger is more important to him right now . He should stick to his original plan and get Jungwon back . Even if he'll access their files secretly , he'll do it . He must find Jungwon at all cost .