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Tuesday, 27 September 2022

Being a very noncommittal person, Freya had always had a hard time dating

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Being a very noncommittal person, Freya had always had a hard time dating. The only person Freya had ever truly committed to was her mother because she knew her mother would never hurt her, but her mum was gone, and she felt in need of a lifeline. Like a leaf in autumn, clinging to its branch and the security the tree had given it all summer as the cold winds of autumn tried to rip it out of its place, to tumble through the world, to never find a place to settle again. Freya was terrified of this side of herself, the one that had a hard time committing to people because she knew the hurt they could bring her if she were to trust them enough. Both Ben and Holly had been important to her, and she had committed to them as well, only for Holly to burn that trust to ash.

Being on her tiny date with Daniel therefore didn't seem intimidating. This was a man she would never see again. Later this week she would leave Reykjavik, probably never see Daniel again, and she was fine with that. This would never go past this one date, the pressure to commit wasn't there.

When she had messaged Daniel on Instagram to tell him she was staying another week, he had instantly been excited. The joy in that single interaction had made her night more bearable, it felt nice to be wanted. They agreed to go for a little coffee date on Freya's last Tuesday in Reykjavik since it was the only day Daniel had completely off. When she saw him outside her hotel when Tuesday actually came, she almost felt bad about the fact that she was clearly not excited in the same way Daniel was. This man was interested in getting to know her, and here Freya was, wanting a friend. He clearly did not see her like that. Freya had to let him know that, she knew.

Wearing her green high waisted wide leg cord trousers that day, Freya wasn't as cold as she normally was. With a white cropped corsage blouse, Freya was showing a bit more cleavage than normal, but she hoped her chunky and colourful cardigan would cover her up a bit more and make her warm. She wore her brown coat over it, and the layers were really doing a stellar job at keeping the wind at bay. However, her white ankle Converse hadn't been the best choice, she realised this, because even her purple long socks didn't keep her ankles warm. Neither did the fact that she had put her short hair up in a clip at the back of her head, exposing loads of her neck and head. She had learned now that exposing loads of your head, ankles, stomach, and wrists to the bitter outside weather would make you much colder, much faster, and Freya wasn't about that. She enjoyed being comfortable.

'What are your plans for your last few days here in Reykjavik, then?' Daniel asked, smiling at her as they walked along the streets.

'Dunno. Figured I might annoy Cate for a bit, hope she wants to do some stuff with me before I leave.'

'Don't think she's gonna be hard to convince. She loves you already.'

Freya chuckled. 'You think?'

'Yeah, you two have become fast friends, right?'

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