𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 ♧ SeungJin

XXXII

"There may be fairies, there may be elves, but God helps those who help themselves."
-Stephen King : Misery

♤♡◇♧

I tried to plead with my mother not to make me go back to school but in order to do that I had to tell her what happened, which included telling her that me and Hyunjin slept togther; something I wasn't going to do. I told her that something had had happened but no matter how much she asked I said nothing to her.

Going back to school on Thursday wasn't fun at all. People threw around slurs like confetti, my friends completely kicked me out of the group and a bunch of people stared at me when I walked into a room. I had been turned into the victim of the bullying I used to be the one doing.

I figured I had to talk to Jae, and avoid Hyunjin entirely. If me and Hyunjin were so much as seen in the same room all hell would break loose. That's why I was so unprepared for history class, where I sat right behind him.

I wondered when I would get the chance to talk to Jae, but I soon learned I wouldn't have to wonder for long. I was using the bathroom and there he was, cornering me while I washed my hands. He looked exactly the same.. it was weird. I don't know why I expected him to look or act different now, but I did.

He stood in front of the doors, closing them while I washed my hands and dried them off with paper towel. "How's your day been so far?" He asked, a sly grin eating away at his lips, "Sure hope you didn't have any trouble."

I looked at him, rolled my eyes, and looked away to throw the paper towels in the garbage, "Why did you do that?" I asked.

"Do what."

I scoffed, "Sneak into Hyunjin's room while we were in there and take a picture of us. It's real violation of privacy. I could sue you if I wanted."

"No," he shrugged, "you'd have to get Hyunjin to sue, you'd just tag along. It happened in his house."

I shook my head now. This was pointless to be honest, I have no idea what I was even doing here, "Just tell me why you did that. Did I do something wrong to you? Do you hate me? Just for shits and giggles?"

"I saw you two talking." He finally confessed, "I saw the way you looked at him, but I'll tell you Seungmin, he didn't look at you the same way. I've always had a sneaking suspicion you were gay, and there's been rumors about Hyunjin making out with dudes at parties since ever. It pisses me off that you think you can get away with everything—I mean, you lied to me about being gay, about being interested in the girls I thought were cute; this entire relationship has been built on a lie."

"You say that like we ever had a real friendship anyway." I folded my arms over my chest, "I never considered you my friend Jae, not for the slightest moment. I lied to you about these things because I didn't think you deserved to know... for reasons exactly like this."

His lips tightened and I couldn't tell if maybe I had hurt his feelings or something. It's true, I had never seen him as a friend and I always assumed he felt the same. We never hung out outside of school and we barely spoke besides the occasional chatter at lunch. We just hung around one another.

"Still, don't you think I'd deserve to know something like that? Like, if I had a nut allergy you'd think to tell me that you were eating peanut butter right?" I stared at him long and hard after this, and ultimately decided that I couldn't deal with his shit today.

A peanut allergy? Really? That's what he's comparing this to? Sick. I pushed past him, swinging the door open and leaving for my classes again.

Dumb fuck.

♤♡◇♧

When the lunch bell rang I went straight for the library where no one would even think to look for me. The plan was to be all alone in there so that I didn't have to deal with all of these people, so set on ruining my day.

That was the plan anyway, but of course Hyunjin had to ruin it. He ruins everything—even me apparently. He showed up in front of me, holding his school bag over his shoulder in a tight grip, like he was afraid someone might come to steal it at any moment.

"What the fuck do you want." I sneered at him, expecting him to get mad in response, but instead a big grin spread over his face.

"There's the Seungmin I know. I was afraid I'd lost you forever." He threw his back to the ground, sitting across the small circular table from me. "We need to talk." He suddenly said, less happily.

"No we don't." I looked away from his steady, yet unsure gaze, "If someone catches you sitting with me I'm gonna be in a lot of shit—even more than I already am." I tell him, trying to shoo him away before something bad happens.

He shook his head, "We're in the back of the library with all the philosophy books. There's literally cob webs on most of these books, I think we're fine." He ran his hand over the table, feeling the wood, "Anyway, how are you?"

"What do you think?" I snapped back.

"Right. Stupid question." There was a moment of silence, "You know I still hate you, even if I've seen your soft, fluffy side."

"I dont have a 'soft, fluffy side'." I argued, but he laughed at me.

"Then what do you call the side of you that clung to me while you slept on the night of the party? The side of you that cried to me about how stupid you felt? The side of you that let me hug you when you sobbed about the photo being leaked? Or the side you show Mi-Young?"

Damn.. got me there.

His eyes lay heavily on me for a long while before he spoke again, "I know you're more than just this dickhead you make yourself out to be. If anything that makes me hate you more."

"Good, because I hate you. A lot."

He sighed, "Why do you choose to be like this?" He asked, "I understand why you treat people the way you do but it's no excuse. I don't forgive you for the way you've treated my friends, even if you got outed."

I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest, "I never asked for your forgiveness." I reminded him... even though I did want it.

The way he looked at me made me think he knew, that I wanted him to forgive me. He probably did know. "I feel bad for you Seungmin, but if you want me to like you, you've got to get your shit together."

I watched him get out of his chair, grab his bag and walked away through the isles of books.

Damn.