A Change of Heart

Ugly.

I frowned. I had my reflection under scrutiny. My face was masked with make-up, but I still managed to pick out flaws. My eyebrows were too bushy. My moustache was too prominent. My spots were threatening to come through again. I sighed and pulled out my tweezers. After five minutes of serious plucking, I deemed my eyebrows vaguely acceptable, and the hair on my upper lip had somewhat diminished.

But my hair! Oh my god. I'd only washed it last night and yet the roots were already oily. I'd straightened it, but the recalcitrant tips curled in. I checked my clock - ten minutes until school starts. I cursed myself for sleeping in. Looking back at my reflection, I swore violently. I couldn't leave my hair like this! I grabbed a brush and forced the brown mass into a messy bun. Maybe one day I'd shave it all off and buy a wig.

Grabbing my glasses from my table, I hastily heaved my bag onto my shoulder and hurried out. The cool air hit me instantly. It was late January in Lancaster, so the weather was far from friendly. It would most likely rain before the day was up.

Luckily, the school wasn't too far away, usually the journey took only slightly longer than five minutes.

My friends waited for me on the last turn, like always. I was usually late, but this was kind of pushing it. Amy looked seriously flustered, being the organised perfectionist that she was - she was from London. But she was a fantastic friend, which was why she waited. I was met with rebuke when I finally reached them, as well as disapproving glances from Daisy and Rebecca.

I gestured to Amy and we hung back for a little while, watching the other two to grow further and further away.

"You look nice today" said Amy "bet I can guess why..."

"You'd be right if you mean jake" I giggled "I just want a chance to speak to him, let him know who I am"

"And you will!" Amy encouraged "look, Hannah, you're way better than all the slags he's been out with. So stop putting yourself down, just wait for Friday, then you'll see."

I smiled at her words and hugged her. Amy always knew the right thing to say.

The rest of the week passed painfully slowly. Despite what Amy said, Jake didn't glance once in my direction. I would have spoken to him, but I was petrified, knowing I would choke up. Me and Amy weren't exactly what you would call 'popular'. We weren't necessarily hated, just generally ignored. If only we were more noticeable, that way it wouldn't be so hard to get Jake to see me. I kind of liked being a nerd, to some degree, but it certainly had its down-sides. I suppose popular people only date other popular people. Outcasts like us were out of the picture.

It had been like this for months. Me doting on him, him doting on some blonde bimbo. I would have given anything for him just to touch me, or call me over for a chat. No such luck. This was my first crush of such magnitude. Every time I got within a metre of Jake, or he said something that sounded vaguely like Hannah, like 'banner', for example, my heart would skip a beat.

When friday finally arrived, I could hardly breathe. We had planned for this day all week. This was going to be the day he finally noticed me. It was the perfect day to take action, right before the weekend so I'd have a little recovery time if things went south. I applied an extra dose of make-up and made sure I got up on time so I could wash my hair. I took time choosing an outfit, deciding on a floral pencil skirt, white blouse and pink slip-ons.

At first, the prospect of talking to him was daunting. But I knew that if really wanted him, I had to take action.

We were sat in maths, my most hated lesson, save for the fact that Jake was on my table. I usually spent all lesson gazing at him. Watching the way he flicked his black hair.