A Change of Heart

Chapter 8 - From Friend To Enemy

Scared.

That's how I felt on Monday morning.

Ryan had tried to comfort me, but his attempts proved unsuccessful. I'd never been on my own like this, never. I didn't realise how much I needed Amy, because now that she'd gone, I was on my own.

Looking at my image in the mirror, I found it difficult not to feel self-conscious. Not having slept well for several nights, my face was drawn and tired. Streaks of red blemished the white in my eyes, and bags appeared like bruises under them. I wasn't even sure I could disguise my fatigue up with make-up, so I didn't try. I was sure that would be the least of my worries.

I shouldered my school bag and routed in the cabinet for a quick snack to eat on the way. Finding a pack nutrition bars, I wrestled one out of the box and scurried past the door.

Five minutes later, I approached the last turn, fully aware that no one would be waiting for me. I joined the steady stream of people. This was the second time I'd walked to school on my own. I wondered if I was painting a negative picture for myself. I could only hope that people didn't start referring to me as 'that weird girl who has no friends'. But, thinking about it, that's exactly who I was.

Also, I didn't know whether it was genuine or just paranoia, but it felt as though everyone was looking at me. I never caught anyone flat out staring, but through the corner of my eye, I could have sworn I saw fleeting glances in my direction.

The feeling refused to budge even when I travelled past the school gates. In fact, it only seemed to grow stronger. Disconcerted, I decided to spend the time until the bell went in one of the buildings that weren't off limits. There, the feeling dissipated. There were very few people in here, I noted as I surveyed the interior. Those that were were generally of the less popular crowd. Those that sought shelter from the mocking voices of bullies. What did that say about me?

At one point, I spied Amy through the window. A selection of her friends stood clustered around her like bodyguards, most of them wearing expressions of sympathy. I swallowed past a lump in my throat. Was I that easily replaced? Her cheeks were red and puffy, but her eyes had a certain hard sheen to them... One that I'd never seen from her before.

Put on edge by what I had seen, I left the window and hovered by the door until the bell went.

When it did go, the sound almost burst my ear drums. I flinched, impulsively raising my hands to my ears. After about three seconds, the sound died down, so I left my little sanctuary to get to History.

Something was wrong. People were looking at me, it wasn't even paranoia this time, I could see them looking, trying and failing to be discreet, especially those closer to Amy. I usually sat next to Amy in class, on the third row and second desk from the left. But when I got there at the start of lesson, both seats were empty. I took my usual place, trying to ignore the burn of watching eyes.

I felt slightly awkward, sitting here by myself, so I was pleased when Ms. Birch appeared, struggling to carry several hefty books. I wondered whether it would be a bad idea to help her. I loved Ms. Birch. She was a little scatty, but great to talk to. I was glad she taught us History. She plonked the books down on her desk and straightened her glasses before addressing the class.

"Good morning, class. Todd, do you remember what we've been doing over the past few lessons?"

Todd was staring at a wall, oblivious to the world. When he realised he was being spoken to, he looked up at her, woken from his daydream. He went a little pink.

"Uh... About the..... Cotton mills, miss?"

"Spot on." She said, proud. "I want you each to tell me a job that one might do when working in a Cotton Mill."