The Dance A/U Part 1: Crash Into Me

Epilogue: Into Your Heart I'll Beat Again (end of Part 1)

Phoenix, Arizona

May 30, 1997

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Lindsey was gripping her hand tightly. Stevie was sitting on the table at her gynecologist's office, grateful she'd found a good doctor in Phoenix so she didn't risk the publicity of seeing one in Los Angeles. She looked not a thing like Stevie Nicks today; she was wearing a simple white t-shirt with a tan blazer, the bottom half of her undressed and covered by the blue paper sheet. Lindsey stood at her side and held her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles and trying not to let her see he was just as nervous as she was...but also just as excited.

Her gynecologist, a middle-aged woman who actually looked a lot like Sally Field, entered the room with Stevie's chart in her hand, asking, "So how are you feeling, Stevie?" They had been on first-name terms years now, ever since Stevie had found her shortly after buying her original Arizona home with Christopher and Lori.

"Exhausted and freaked out, thank you," Stevie said. "How about you, Diana?" At her side, Lindsey was marveling at her ability to make small talk now.

"Ugh...I'm currently engaged in battle with my oldest son over whether he's going to college in September or spending a term loafing around in Europe and then coming home to sit on his butt and play Nintendo till the term starts." She rolled her eyes, and the two women laughed.

"So you're really selling motherhood, huh?" Stevie joked. She gestured towards Lindsey and said, "Diana, this is Lindsey Buckingham, the reason we're here. Lindsey, Dr. Diana Ciesla"

"Good to meet you, Lindsey," said the doctor, shaking his hand. "We're all fans at my house."

"Thank you." Lindsey was too nervous to say anything else.

"So..." The doctor pulled a chair up along side Stevie and sat down. "Mission accomplished, folks...Stevie, you are six weeks pregnant, which puts your date of conception somewhere between April 16 through 18." She was reading from the chart as she spoke.

Stevie's mind automatically went to the night before their taped interview for The Dance, her anxiety-riddled search for an outfit to wear which had ended in one of the most passionate rounds of lovemaking she and Lindsey had ever shared...

"I want you to think about your answer, Stephanie. If I let you come, that means you agree with me, that you are beautiful. Now...are you going to be a good girl and take all of my evidence?"

"Honestly, Diana, I thought it was peri menopause that was making me late and weepy and nauseous and all of that fun stuff," Stevie said. She was quaking on the inside, but only Lindsey knew that.

"Well listen, you are in peri menopause, Stevie, but here's the thing...as long as you are still getting your period, you're fertile."

Have you been talking to Christine Mc Vie? Stevie thought. She said, "Well I guess now we know." Lindsey hadn't said a word, and she was beginning to worry about him.

"I'm going to pull up the heartbeat for you now so you two can hear, and then we'll schedule you to come back and have your first sonogram in two weeks so we can check her out, see what's going on."

Stevie closed her eyes and opened them. She'd said check "her" out, she thought. If this turns out to be my baby girl after all this time...

Diana pushed a computer cart closer to Stevie and lowered the blue paper sheet, squirting her stomach with the clear gel before affixing the monitor on her and moving it around slowly, watching the computer screen. Stevie was holding her breath, clutching at Lindsey's hand, and they were close enough for her to feel that even though he hadn't said a word yet, he was holding his breath as well. Stevie said a silent prayer to Robin.

Robin, I know Matthew wasn't my baby. He was yours. This is my baby now, and it's different from the others. Please let me hear my baby girl's heartbeat so she can grow up with all the stories of how amazing you were, how we were together, and how her Aunt Robin is the one who sent her to me when I didn't even know how much I needed her. Please, Robin, let me hear the heartbeat.

The sudden amplified sound of rapid squishing began to fill the room. That was the first thing Stevie heard break through the silence; the second was Lindsey exhaling long and hard beside her. That was all she needed to hear. He wants this as much as I do.

"Healthy," Diana remarked, as if an afterthought. "Strong. Looks like it's all good to go, folks." The fast squishing sound that was the heartbeat of Stevie and Lindsey's baby continued for another minute, and as a single tear began to roll down Stevie's cheek, she could feel Lindsey bend over her to place a gentle kiss on the top of her head. He had not removed his hand from hers once. Diana said, "I'll leave you guys alone for a minute to hash it out, let it sink in...then I'm kicking you out, Lindsey, for the yucky part...the exam." She winked, and closed the door over as she left the room.

Stevie couldn't believe how everything could change in the blink of an eye. A few days ago, she'd been preparing for a televised concert. A few weeks ago, she'd been a nervous wreck about which of her hundreds of black dresses to wear. A few months ago, she'd gone to bed and cried her heart out because she was in love with Lindsey and she didn't know if he was in love with her. And a few years ago...she had been sitting curled up on a bathroom floor in a rehab facility, trembling violently and in such pain she could barely stand to cry, detoxing from an addiction that had been close to costing her her own life, let alone the opportunity to grow another life inside of her. She looked up at Lindsey for the first time since Diana had come into the room and confirmed what the ClearBlue Easy test she'd taken the day after her birthday had already told her. His blue eyes were filled with tears that matched the ones in hers, and he bent down to kiss her softly, her eyes fluttering closed and staying closed for a moment after their mouths parted, so overcome with every possible emotion that she was rendered speechless.

"Stephanie..." He held her hand up to his mouth to kiss her fingers. "It's like everything we dreamed about lying on our mattress on the floor twenty-five years ago is coming true," he said. "We have each other, we have the music...and now we have our baby...Buckingham Nicks, angel...the ultimate collaboration."

Stevie smiled through her tears. "You're happy about this? I mean, Linds...there's no halfway here...Are we doing this?"

"We are doing this and it's going to be amazing, sweet girl." He kissed her forehead.

"We have a tour, Linds! We have to be on the road...and Jesus, we aren't even out in the open..."

Lindsey held a finger to her lips. "We will figure it out, angel." He was grinning like a kid as he said, "That's what you do so that all of your dreams can come true."

"I love you." Stevie was crying now, and Lindsey wrapped his arms around her and rocked her gently. "I really, really love you...you know that?"

"I do...and look what we made because we love each other, angel," he said. "It's incredible."

They were just about done crying when Diana came back in to do the examination, telling Lindsey to wait outside. They drove home almost in silence, the only sound being Joni Mitchell on the car stereo, just as she'd been on Stevie's birthday a few days earlier. Blue was the CD in the stereo, and from out of the speakers came the sound of "Little Green"...

"Just a little green...like the color when the spring is born...There'll be crocuses to bring to school tomorrow...just a little green...like the nights when the northern lights perform...There'll be icicles and birthday clothes, and sometimes there'll be sorrow...Child with a child pretending...weary of lies you are sending home...so you sign all the papers in the family name...
You're sad and you're sorry, but you're not ashamed...little green, have a happy ending..."

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THE END OF PART 1!!!

Coming soon...

The Dance Part 2: Beautiful In My Eyes

Thanks for reading! <3