Parody 2012-Era Avengers Fic

PART ONE: The One Where They Do A Movie Night

A/N:

So, uh, to the few of you that requested this

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here it is.

"What do you mean you don't like Back to the Future?" The translucent ghost of Natasha Romanoff crossed her arms incredulously.

From the movie room's kitchenette, Sam Wilson shrugged. "Meh. Never really got into it." He took a moment to scan the back of a microwaveable popcorn bag. "Do y'all usually put these in for more than two minutes?"

Peter Parker swiped the bag before the microwave door shut. "Usually I do for two-point-five for Pop Secret and two for Kettle Korn. And I'm still not over the Back to the Future thing." He tossed the bag in the microwave and started beeping and booping away on the keypad. "Like, seriously, it's one of my favorite vintage movies."

Natasha cringed at the word "vintage." "Well, if you don't want to marathon Back to the Future, what should we watch?"

Just then, Kate Bishop piped up from her spot on top of the refrigerator. "We could always do The Hunger Games again."

"Ugh," groaned Yelena Belova, "I'm not sitting through seventeen more hours of Katniss Everdeen and her fancy bow tricks. There's way cooler ways to kill a man than that."

The apparition of Tony Stark materialized in the corner, but said nothing.

Natasha huffed and floated over to the movie rack. "We need to choose soon. Bruce'll be coming over with Wanda and the rest of the Maximoffs. Not to mention Bucky and Captain Carter, but they're usually pretty late, so we've got time to make the ice cream floats."

"Oh!" One of the other Peter Parkers shot up and off of the couch. "I totally forgot about the ice cream for the floats!" He thwip'd sticky spider silk out of his wrists and flung himself out of the open window, scaring a group of pigeons.

Natasha watched him as he left, rolling her eyes. "He always does this." She groaned under her breath. "Okay," turning back to address the room, she raised both ghostly hands to bring the room to silence, "Does anyone else need to run off and grab something you've forgotten?"

For a beat, no one moved. Then, in an effort to break the silence, Kate shot an arrow across the movie room. It landed somewhere on the opposite side with a soft thunk. "Oops."

"Popcorn's done!" Sam strode into the sitting area, Peter following two steps behind. Each carried a gallon-sized tub of popcorn. "I've got kettle, Pete's got butter lover's. I swear it's not burnt." At Yelena's suspicious glare, he added, "Well, mostly unburnt."

Without warning, Clint Barton's head popped though an air conditioning vent in the ceiling. "I smelled popcorn." Soon, the rest of his body followed, falling onto one of those squishy couches with a thump. "Have you guys decided on a movie yet?"

"Nope." Peter tried and failed to catch a piece of popcorn that Yelena tossed at him.

"Has anyone suggested Back to the Future yet?"

Natasha threw her arms in the air. "I tried!" In an attempt to change the subject, she turned to Clint. "Did you get the root beer?"

"Yep." He nocked an arrow and fired it at the vent in the ceiling. Five large bottles of root beer dropped onto the couch. One sported a considerable abrasion where the arrow had hit it. "Where are the cups at?"

Kate motioned over to the kitchenette, then turned back to her mentor. "What do you wanna watch, Clint?"

"It's Mr. Barton to you."

Kate pouted, but raised no verbal objection.

"And I have no idea what I'd like to watch." He added, casting Natasha an apologetic glance. "When's Bruce getting here?"

"Any moment now."

As if on queue, a Hulk sized Bruce Banner burst through the door, Maximoffs in tow. Both Wanda and Vision looked rather tired, sporting matching under-eye bags as they carried their children and snack contributions through the door.

"Oh, hi, Mrs. Maximoff!" Peter leapt off of the couch to grab Tommy from her arms. Wanda smiled. "Hello Peter." She shifted the cardboard box from her shoulder to her hip. "Vis and I brought chips. What're we watching?"

From her spot beside the DVD rack, Natasha sighed. "We don't know yet."

"Oh. Has anyone suggested Back to the Future yet?"

"Yes." Sam replied before anyone else could interject. "Yes they have."

"Hm." Vision gently lowered Billy the Infant onto one of the sofas. "I'm partial to The Hunger Games."

Yelena cringed, briefly halting her popcorn tossing.

Bruce shook his head and tossed a carton of ice cream into the freezer. "Nah. We saw 'em two weeks ago. How 'bout a Pixar marathon?"

"Uh, no." The tallest Peter had returned with yet another carton of vanilla ice cream. "I don't really feel like crying again today." He threw his carton in alongside Bruce's. "Are Bucky and Cap here yet?"

"I'm already here." Sam pointed out.

"No, the other Cap."

Carol Danvers whooshed into the movie room through the still-open window. "You rang?"

The younger Spider-Man set Tommy down on the couch and grinned up at her. "Hey Carol."

"What're y'all watching?"

"We really don't know." Natasha tried to flop onto one of the couches. Being a freshly deceased ghost, the former Black Widow misjudged the distance and floated through to the floor. When she next spoke, her voice came out muffled through the cushions. "Do you know Carter and Bucky's ETA?"

"They're on their way." The Scarlet Witch paused, adjusting her crown. "What about the Harry Potter movies? Have we seen them recently?"

"Eh. They're not great." Kate was now draped over one of the couches, long, gangly arms and legs dangling over the sides. "My vote's still on The Hunger Ga-"

She was cut off by a sharp knock on the door. A hush blanketed the room as Natasha, who grew briefly corporeal, moved to open it. Three figures tumbled in. One was obviously Bucky Barnes, the second was a serum-injected Peggy Carter, but the third proved harder for the group to identify.

"Why is Mr. Rogers young again?" Hollered the smallest Peter Parker.

"Hello to you too, Peter." A newly de-aged Steve Rogers gave the group a small, two-fingered salute. "I heard that we would be watching Disney movies." His expression changed when he scanned the shocked moviegoers. "Unless we were marathoning Back to the Future, that is?"

~End~