Silverclaw

Leaving for the Outer Reaches

 Anya woke, lurching upright, sending Aros and Princess flying off. Panting, she tried to calm her heart, the last of the nightmare dissipating as she took deep breaths. Looking round, she saw that Darian, Amelie and Iris were all asleep still; she was the only one awake. Movement behind her told her otherwise, and she turned to see Okril and Dievra standing there watching her. Okril nodded to her, glanced at Dievra, and walked away into the surrounding woods.

 Her breaths finally calm, Anya lifted her hands to stare at them as they shook. Dievra ignored this, walking past her to set an iron kettle on the fire.

 'I was not much older than you are, Majesty, when I saw my first battle. I could not sleep without nightmares for months afterwards.'

 Anya blinked, and smiled. 'You must think me ever so silly.'

 'The opposite, in fact. It proves without a doubt that you have a conscience and will only kill when you have no other choice.' Dievra calmly set a measure of her soothing tea into one of the tin mugs they had brought with them. 'They say that your dreams can give you insights to who you truly are, Majesty, if you are but strong enough to face them.'

 'Perhaps, Dievra, but I can't remember anything that happens in them. All I know is that it's something to do with my time as a slave, Lord Ristarl, and  Oakfall.'

 'And all those things played a part in shaping who you are now, Majesty. If you can't remember what happened in your dream, then it's usually because you aren't ready yet.' Dievra walked over to her, a mug in each hand, and gave one to her as the cats returned to Anya's bedroll. 'And to be honest, I'm not all that surprised. You are only fourteen, after all.'

 Anya smiled her agreement. 'Sometimes I wonder if all this is a dream, and I'll wake up in my bed at the farm with Mama shaking me awake to see to the sheep.'

 'An understandable emotion, Anya. Tell me, have you actually killed someone yet?'

 'No! Great Mother, no.' Anya shuddered. 'I may be a warrior, Dievra, but I honestly hope that I never have to take someone's life, be it on the battle field or otherwise.'

 'Even in self defence?'

 'Even then. I would rather fight them to the point of exhaustion and take them captive than kill them.' Anya sipped at her tea, and smiled as the hot liquid settled in her stomach. 'Although they might try to kill me, I would rather take that path than any other. I will kill only if I truly have to, Dievra.'

 'A noble sentiment, Anya, and perhaps one that is a little naive.'

 Anya looked up at her. 'How so, Dievra?'

 'What if they attacked you because they wanted you to kill them? Perhaps they had been shamed in some way; and wished to end their lives, but knew it would not be possible to do it themselves?'

 Anya blinked at her in surprise. 'I-I don't know. How on earth could I make that kind of decision, Dievra? I'm just a child, really.'

 'And yet in many ways you are not, Anya. Look at what you have already managed to do: you were captured as a slave, yet managed to fight your way out of the Arena. You were brought up believing that you were but a humble farm girl, and then uncovered the truth of your royal birth. You used your Silver on your own your very first time, saving your life and that of your friends. You have stepped up to the position of the Elfish Queen without being full elf and have embraced the role and its responsibilities. You can fight, sing, weave, do anything you put your mind to.'

 'Except cook.'

 'Yes, I will agree with you there. But every person needs a weakness, Anya. Yours is cooking. Others may see your love as a weakness, but those you love are all very capable of caring for themselves; and even if they were captured, you would rip the world apart to get them back. You are stronger, far stronger, than even Okril and I can see. All that we have to do is wait for you to find your way.'