The 'tutor'

What the hell happened last night

Jeans P.O.V.

The light burned my eyes through the curtains the hung on my window. I started to sit up when I felt Marco wrapped around me. When I tried to slide out of his embrace, his eyes fluttered open. I saw him pat his hand around for his glasses, and then sit up. I laughed at his messy hair and still tired attitude.
"Morning sleepy head" I said getting off the bed. He replied with a muffled groan. I laughed again, then spoke again.
"Let's go get some breakfast somewhere" I suggested. Marco agreed in the case that we would stop by his house to tell his parents he was okay, and get a fresh pair of clothes. I also agreed to that. I got some new clothes out as Marco changed to old ones, and when I stood up after tying my shoes, I felt a wave of nausea wash over me, and I stumbled to my dresser. My head started to pound, and felt like throwing up again. Marco looked at me, and grabbed my shoulder so I wouldn't fall.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"Uh- can you take me to the bathroom" I asked. He nodded his head yes. When we walked into the bathroom, I opened my medicine cabinet, which holds lots of pills, and pulled out some Advil to calm my headache.
"I fucking hate hangovers" I announced.
"Did I really drink a lot? I can't remember one thing from last night, other than the original fact we went to a party" I said. Marco laughed and anwered, "Dude, i think you drank all of 2 leaders" Marco replied shaking his head in dissaproval. "Fuck, dont let me do that again" I said hoping he would prevent me from doing it again. Marco nodded his head okay, and we went to my car. Marco offered to drive again, because i was feeling like shit, so i agreed.
When we got to his house, he made some coffee, and offered me some, and he got changed too. Right before we left his sister Nina stopped us.
"So..." She said winking at Marco, I saw Marco blush, but i dont know why. Anyway, she asked us about the night before and I listened as Marco explained a few things, because i had no memory of what went on the night before. He said something about playing dare or dare, and if you didn't you would have to streak around the house. That suddently struck a memorie to pop into my head. It was of me and marco making out. I had my hand on his back and the other one rubbing in his hair. He had his hand on my chest and neck and he was kind of sitting on top of me. Then i noticed that there was a group around us. A group of people that were laughing. And then i remembered it, this happened last night. I didnt remember because i was drinking so much, and my memory is a bit foggy. Nina said something about remembering doing stuff like that at our age.
We left his house and i still felt like shit, but i wanted to have breakfeast with marco, so i didn't mention it. We decided to go to a place called 'Its dinner time', how ironic. Once we sat down and ordered food, Marco looked at me and asked.
"So, um, about last night... Do you wan-" I cut him off and replied.
"No, its fine, i just dont think im ready to talk about it".
He noded his head okay, but i still think he wanted to know, i mean this is kind of a dick move of me. I know i should tell him, but i just dont want him to feel bad or anything for me. After my out burst, we ate in silence, neither of us had anything to say.
We got in the car to leve, and thats when I decided to speak up
"So you know how halloween is coming up" I asked, he nodded his head yes and I kept talking.
"Well, what are you going to be?" I asked. I could tell Marco didn't know, because he looked as if he were thinking.
"Well i wasn't planning on trick or treating, so i guess nothing" He replied. I fake gasped and reminded him "Well this year were going as something together because reiner always has a costume party, and its going to be great". Marco laughed and nodded his head okay.
"So do you think you are capable of driving? Because i could pick up my car from Armins place then we could split ways" Marco asked. I knew that that i would be okay, so we got to Armins, and i drove my self home.
Shit, i feel like crap again. I feel so lonely and i feel by my self. I wish he didn't have to leave me here alone with my dad and his girlfriend. How are they even together, shes fucking my age, she's barly legal. And on top of that, my dad is like 49. Like holly fuck. Shes a bitch too. She acts like my mom, and she's like a year older than me. It actually disgusts me. Just because my dad is rich. What has this fucking world come to.
I walked to the bathroom and took off my shirt and pants. I stood infront of my large mirror. When i mean large, i mean that it is my wall in the bathroom. I hate looking at my self. I hate everything about it. The shape, the scars, the bruses. Why is marco my friend. Why does he like me. I'm just a self centered asshole. Shit, tears started to fill my eyes. The tears spilled out of my eyes. I turned the nob to the bath to turn it on, and on hot. Thoughts of my mother poured into my mind, when she used to pour me baths. Fuck she was so kind, yet when she died, it felt like nothing changed, my dad didn't spend time mourning, he moved on like nothing happened. Yet at the same time, something did change in him, was it madness? Did he go insane? It wasn't from her death. Was it guilt? I dont know but he changed, because when he got mad, i was his punching bag. He would beat me and i would cry and scream, but nothing would change it. We moved so much, and I was too scared to run away because i had no friends to turn to, no family.
I slid into the half filled tub letting my tears flow into the tub. I let the water rise until it was full. I turned off the water and laid in it for a bit. I let the heat consume my thoughts and just laid there. The water was soothing and always calmed my mind whenever I was in a funk. This time though, the thoughts kept coming.