Save You - Choni

Part 5

Toni's POV

It is now July of the year of our lord 1868. Some two months after my experience with Miss Bradford. I knew it was wrong and sinful, but I simply couldn't resist. It was as if every part of my body and soul wanted it. While it lasted, I felt alive, more alive than I had ever felt. But now she has returned to her home and I'm left with only memories and guilt.

I sinned and I know it. Every Sunday since, I have gone to church and prayed for forgiveness. Prayed that I yield not to such infernal temptations again. But I fail sometimes. Now such unearthly forces have been unleashed, I've found myself thinking unholy thoughts about other women. I must resist for the sake of my own soul.

I dare not tell anyone about these experiences and feelings. Not even Ronnie, my closest friend, can I divulge this too. Now I feel sad and alone. I can't help it.

My father has been mentioning Frances Fogarty a lot more recently. He's due back from an extensive trip abroad soon and I am to meet my future husband for the first time. I wish I could feel more enthusiasm about this. But I can't.

I can't blame my father, he only wishes me to marry well. The fortunes of my father's family have waned in recent years and he only wishes to restore the status of his children by having them marry well. I can only hope to be happy in this marriage to a man I've never met. But deep down, I'm not sure if I could be happy married to any man.

2 weeks ago, father took Tabitha and I to London to see a production of a new play called of all things "Play" by playwright Thomas William Robertson. It was a grand night and we dressed in our finest and took the carriage to the Prince of Wales Theatre on Charlotte Street.

All was fine that summer evening, until the intermission. As we mingled in the lobby with the other theatre goers I spotted Miss Bradford. The object of my runaway passion was on the other side of the lobby speaking with some upper class woman that I didn't recognize. My heart as of its own accord, started to beat furiously upon seeing her. What I saw next quickly dragged my spirits back to earth.

Miss Bradford was in the presence of a young woman of my age. She was a woman with sandy brown hair, pleasant figure and a large bosom, which my eyes were brought too like a magnet. She was standing close to Miss Bradford but said little.

For a moment I watched her eye Miss Bradford with a look I knew all too well. It was a look of sinful hunger. It was subtle of course, but to me unmistakable. I'm sure officially she was Miss Bradford's latest pupil. In reality, she was much more I'm sure.

I had done my best to push Miss Bradford out of my mind, but seeing that other girl with her, raised a jealous monster in me that I hadn't known even existed. Had that young woman looked at me, she would have seen a look of hatred unlike no other. I wanted to be in that's woman's place.

The attendant rang the bell a few moments later, indirection the intermission was almost over and we all walked inside. As we did, Miss Bradford briefly looked in my direction and for a moment our eyes met. Seeing her eyes once again focused on me, sent a tingle through my entire body. Once again I longed for her gentle touch.

But the look only was for an instant. She gave me a polite smile and a curt nod, which I returned. A moment later, she and her companion vanished into the crowd.

It was an all too brief foray into heaven and once again I found myself plunged into the depths of hades. It only furthered do lower my spirits even more. Fortunately I managed to put on a very convincing smile. Since my brief liaison with Miss Bradford, I've been wearing that all too convincing smile quiet a lot.

It is now August of 1868 and my sister Tabitha has just announced her engagement to Captain Archibald Andrews, the grandson of Major General Sir Fred Andrews. My father having served under General Andrews for a time, had like in my case arranged a marriage between the families. They are to be married in December of this year.

A party was held at the Andrews estate, just outside of London in honor of the recent engagement. Before we had left, father had told me that Frances Fogarty would be in attendance and we would meet for the first time. For the occasion I picked my nicest dress and took extra time to make myself presentable for my future husband. Though I wanted to muster more excitement for the occasion, I could find little in myself. I feel torn about all of this.

We arrived at the party and while my sister spend time greeting the various well wishers, I was presented to my future husband. I'll admit I found the sight of him not all that displeasing. He was tanned and well built, with a pleasant smile and thick black hair. It had been a fear of mine that he would look something of a pig.

He was polite and greeted me with the utmost courtesy, taking the time to kiss my hand.

"Your beauty is far beyond any description that has been given to me. For you are in league with Aphrodite no less."

I couldn't help but blush at such a wonderful description of me. I'll admit that I hadn't really thought of my self as a great beauty.

"Thank you ever so much Frances. I've heard much of your travels to such far off exotic places."

"Antoinette, Frances is so formal. Please call me Fangs. After all we are to be married."

After conversing for a time with both my father and his parents carefully watching we were left alone. One could tell that they were eager to see how we hit it off. The conversation was pleasant and as men goes, he was rather charming.

A short while later we were left alone, though I knew that eyes would still be firmly upon us. He asked if I would like to take a stroll on the patio so see the moon. I accepted, hoping to make the best of this situation.

It's hard to imagine I was finally with Frances Fogarty. Soon I will be married to this man. I had only heard of him throughout my life. Mostly that he was traveling all over the world and seeing many exotic places.

Eager to learn about his travels I asked him to tell me about them. He talked about the snow in Sweden. The fine art in Italy. He even told me of his time in an opium den in China. It was so exciting.

When we are wed he spoke of his plans to show me the true beauty of this world. Then he spoke of how it still would fail to hold a candle to me. I'll admit he made me blush. He is just so charming and he is handsome. I like him best for being a clean shaven sort with an almost delicate appearance though he still maintains a rather rugged air.

I don't hold the same attraction for him that I do for a certain female whose name I dare not write, for it will send shivers along my whole body. Still, I am beginning to believe that in time I good grow to be quite content being Mrs. Fangs Fogarty.

No One's POV.

"Still, I am beginning to believe that in time I good grow to be quite content being Mrs. Fangs Fogarty."

Cheryl read that final sentence of the entry with some dismay. Through the journals and the few meager possessions of Toni's she owned, she felt close to Toni. She felt terrible that Toni couldn't express her sexuality as one could today. But on top of that she was being pushed into an arranged marriage.

She was at work and during a break she was reading another one of the journals. Everything at work had gone as normal, except recently Jughead had had her pick up some supplies for mice. So she had gone and gotten some cages, food, water bottle excreta. As normal, Cheryl didn't bother to ask what it was all for.

Though she wasn't happy how things were turning out, Cheryl kept on reading. She had to keep on reading. She just had to know what happened.

The next several months, Toni and Fangs courted in the usual manor. Most of their dates of course were chaperoned, either by Toni's father or Fangs's parents. Though several of the dates were at upper class parties. Cheryl could tell that Toni, while not in love with Fangs or very excited by him, had come to gradually accept him as her future husband. She had found this as an avenue for her to resist those unholy urges. Ultimately Cheryl concluded that Toni felt trapped and going through with the marriage was the only way out.

But Cheryl, as she kept reading, was to find that those urges of Toni's didn't just go away.

Toni's POV

By mid October Frances and I had the date for our wedding picked out. We are to be married on Saturday July 10th, 1869. I've met Fangs's parents on a number of occasions and found them to be nice, though a bit dull. I've been told that Fangs has a Brother named Richard, who is currently serving as 1st Lieutenant in the British Army. But he is away and thus I haven't met him. Fangs himself is frequently away. When not courting me, he has been engaged by his father to run one of the families business. His primarily responsiblity is overseeing and running a prosperous trading house.

Fangs frequently comes in the tavern that my father owns. I've found that he seems to enjoy playing card's with some of the other patrons and seems to wager from time to time. Though he is engaged to me, he does seem to attract attention from the other women in the village. He says while it does flatter him, his eyes are only for me.

We had a lovely walk in the park today, followed by dinner with him and his parents at the rather large Fogarty mansion.

After a day with my beau I was certain I was making strides in conquering my perversions. However, it would be on such a day I received an invitation to spend a weekend with Miss Bradford.

Apparently it was felt by my father and Fangs's parents that I needed to be educated on finer points of being a wife and a lady's proper place in society. Her reputation for educating young women in finer points of etiquette and grace, were well known and they engaged her for such a task. Normally my mother would have told me such things but she has been gone for several years. Upon learning of the invitation my heart immediately started to race.

I had no idea what it would or could mean, but just the thought of being with her, filled me with those sinful thoughts.

Two weeks later I found myself and my bag's standing in front of Miss Bradford's large house. As her footman took my bag's and led me inside, I once again felt like a fly wandering into a spiders web. My deepest and most sinful thoughts involved getting thoroughly caught in that particular web.

Upon arriving she greeted me politely, showing now sign of our previous encounter. She then laid out the various subjects I was to learn this weekend. Such as how to properly host a party, and the duties of the wife of such an important person such as Frances Fogarty.

My first lesson was that evening at dinner, as we ate she explained the various types of functions that I would be required to deal with. But all the while she spoke, I found myself looking at her lips. I wanted those lips to once again grace my skin. But seeing her seriousness of the subject at hand I pushed it away and focused on my lesson.

Upon the completion of the last course and the lesson for that evening, she dismissed the servants for the evening.

We retired to a drawing room and for a time discussed my wedding plans. It was to be held at the Fogarty estate. Afterward it would be my and Fangs's home. His parents at that point were moving to a different house in Kent. As always, I spoke of such plans with enthusiasm. Though deep down I wasn't really so.

At one point she got up and stoked the fire in the fire place. But instead of sitting back down on the chair she had been sitting, she sat down on the couch rather close to me. I'm not sure but, I'm sure my face flushed immediately.

"You're a beautiful woman and your husband should be proud to have you as his wife." She said gazing into my eyes.

"Thank you, Miss Bradford."

"Amelia. Now that is just you and I. Please call me Amelia." She paused for a moment and with a strange smug look she inched closer. "Tell me, when you saw me and my companion at the play, was that a look of jealousy on your face."

I instantly froze, I was certain neither Amelia or her companion saw my brief look of hatred. My mouth parted slightly but no sound came from it, but a small gasp.

Amelia smiled and gently put her thin soft fingers on my leg. "You can answer me Antoinette Were you jealous of my companion?"

Once again I was at her mercy and all I wanted to do was give in. "Yes."

Her smile quickly grew as her hand slowly crawled up my leg. The feeling from it, sent the most wonderful tingles all through my body. Why is it that the touch of a female does such things to me, send my thoughts so into the depths. Once again I'm giving in to sin.

"You've wanted me to kiss you. Haven't you. Is that why you keep staring at my lips"

All I could do was nod in agreement.

A moment later, she leaned in gracefully pressed her lips against mine. I felt like the earth suddenly moved. This one simple action set my soul ablaze with desire. I quickly fell into temptation and kissed back.

After a wondrous kiss, she broke it and stood up. "Come on, Antoinette it is late. We must retire."

I felt somewhat disappointed at the fact that she was calling it a night, the look on my face must have been noticeable.

"Yes. Amelia."

"Come on, follow me."

She took a candelabra and led me upstairs to what I guessed would be a guest bedroom. But much to my surprise, she led me into what appeared to be the master suite.

I stood there, a stunned look on my face, not even able to think as she shut the door behind us. As I had only imagined, I was now firmly in her web. With a desirous look she moved around the front of me.

She then gently planted a kiss under my jaw and smiled. "Tonight, we shall share a bed. Much like a husband and wife would. It will help you prepare for what is to come. You are a special pupil and shall receive special instruction. Now prepare for bed."

Now besides my heart racing, my hands trembled. Even if I wanted to flee the room I couldn't. Though I had no desire to do so.

"My bedclothes?" I said quietly.

Amelia gracefully slid out of her dress. "Not needed. Here let me help you."

I stood there quietly as she slowly undressed me. With each passing second I became more full of desire, but at the same time nervousness.

Seeing that I was trembling, she gently kissed me and took my hand. "Fear not, for a woman's' touch is the most gentle and graceful of all."

With a warm smile she gently took my hand and led to the bed. Soon we were both under the covers of her large four poster bed.

She ran a hand through my long brown hair. "To please a husband, you must know the ways of love. Do you wish to know such things?"

I nodded.

She then moved on top of me, now the spider had gotten its prey. I never felt more alive than I had at that moment. "Then I shall teach you."

A thought occurred to me and a look of horror came to my face. "If I'm not a virgin, he will not marry me, I will be disgraced."

Amelia immediately sought to calm my fears. "You will remain a virgin and will be on your wedding night. Now give yourself to me and we shall commence."

I gave my consent and she poured her kisses onto me. Long into the night, our bodies tangled as she taught me all she knew about love. Three times she had brought me to ecstasy with just her sweet tongue and the experience was beyond anything I could imagine. Though I was with a woman and preferred to be, she did explain how my husband and I would make love. I did not find it appealing. Wanting to bring her to the heights of joy as she did me, I followed her instruction and did the same to her.

I don't think I had ever felt so close to anyone in my life as I had that night. When our "lesson" was done, she carefully slipped me into her arms where I drifted off to peaceful sleep.

The next morning I woke to find her gone, and my clothes for the day laid on the foot of the bed. I dressed and combed my hair and went to breakfast. Again it was as if the lesson of the previous night hadn't occurred, but that was probably because the servants were present.

We spent the day with her giving me long laborious lessons on how to be a proper wife. It was long and boring and the only lesson I could think of was the one that I had hoped would come that evening. The one where I would know the beautiful touch of a woman. Not once during that day, did she even give the slightest hint of what happened the previous night.

Sure enough at the end of the day she once again took me into her bed, where I happily received more instruction on how to please my husband. Though at the time, my mind was firmly focused on pleasing the woman I was with.

I knew I would be damned for the deeds I had performed those past two nights, but I simply didn't care. I had never felt so right, so perfectly loved.

But sadly it had to end. The next day was Sunday, the day I had to leave. A part of me wanted to stay, but I knew perfectly well that I was only a pupil. With lowered spirits, I suspected another pupil would replace me in no time. Though I bore no Ill will to Amelia Bradford. In fact, I was grateful for her instruction. But still I remained very sad at my having to depart.

As I stood before the carriage ready to leave, she gave me a strange look of sadness. I thought I was the only was so sad on this day.

She gave me a kiss on the cheek as she shed a single tear. "You've been a wonderful pupil. I shall miss you. You are a true beauty."

I shed a tear myself. "Thank you. I wish I could say more, but words escape me. What of you next? I saw trunks being delivered today."

Her look grew solemn "I am off to Paris to teach the finer young women of Paris and shall be gone some time. I shall think of you, more often than most. I know you don't love him and I am truly sorry. But we must make the best of what life gives us. Goodbye Antoinette."

I have her a hug, hoping to smell her sweet fragrance one last time. "Goodbye Amelia."

Somehow I sensed our paths would never cross again. Judging by the sorrow filled look on her face, I got the impression she had gotten the same feeling. Not only that, but I sensed that maybe I was more than just a pupil. At least for a wonderful pair of nights.

As the wagon took me away I cried, not only for the fact that I was leaving happiness behind but the fact that a man I didn't love was waiting for me. Also waiting for me was a life where I would never again know the touch of a woman.

No One's POV

Cheryl was crying by the time she finished that entry. It was heartbreaking and sad. Never had she felt so much for Toni and what she had been through.

Putting down the journal, Cheryl walked around all the junk that was piled in the old record store trying to compose herself.

"Are you ok?" Jughead said as he poked his head out of the door leading to his lab. The one Cheryl hadn't been in yet.

Cheryl wiped her tears and nodded. "I'm fine. I was just thinking of something sad. What do you need?"

"Cheryl. You've been a good and trustworthy worker in these last several weeks. I think it's time I take you into my confidence. Show you what this is all about."

Cheryl was rather surprised that the somewhat paranoid Jughead, would trust her. "Ok. Then show me."

Jughead lead Cheryl through the door in the back past the bathrooms to the door to his lab.

"This is something to do with wormholes, correct?"

"Yes" Jughead said as he opened the door.

He led Cheryl into a large room. The room itself was filled with all kinds of computers and strange looking electronic equipment. But the biggest feature was a large device shaped roughly like an upside down U. It had all kinds of wires leading out to various pieces of equipment in the room. Sitting underneath the upside down u was what looked like a large wicker basket, like you'd see in hot air balloon. A cable ran from the top of the basket into the U.

With a look of pride Jughead patted his hand on the large device. "You're wondering what this is?"

"Yeah"

"It's a time machine."

Cheryl stood there with a rather unimpressed look. "Yeah right and I'm Professor Who."

Jughead grunted in annoyance. "It's called Doctor who."

"Whatever." Cheryl said dismissively.

Shaking his head. "This really works and uses worm holes to travel through time. A worm hole normally is an opening between two different points in space. What my device does, is open a wormhole between the same point in space but two different points in time. Underneath the upside down U is where the wormhole opens up. On the floor below the basket. Once the wormhole is open, I can lower a basket down through the hole. The other end of the hole will be in this very same room at the ceiling in another time. So once the basket is lowered into the other time, you step out and you can explore.

Cheryl understood what he was saying but immediately dismissed his idea as nuts.

"Think of the possibilities" He said proudly as he went into a long explanation behind the theory of it all.

But as to not to offend his employer, Cheryl listened and pretended to not think he was totally nuts. Time travel was the stuff of bad science fiction and Cheryl hated science fiction.

She momentarily thought of Toni, but quickly dismissed it. No point in getting hopes up for something that wasn't possible. Over a hundred years separated them and no force in the universe could change it. It was a very sad fact and one Cheryl reluctantly accepted.

Cheryl held out her hand as a thought came to her. "Uh...ok. The wormhole opens on the floor and you lower a basket down it into the other time. Wouldn't it be much easer if you opened on the wall and you just walked through."

Jughead pulled his head back as if baffled. "Why would I want to do that. The Basket is much more fun. You get to ride down in it."

"Of course, it has to be fun." Cheryl said somewhat acidly.

"Now, in case you're interested, I will eventually like to try on a human subject. I'm trying my tests with mice and so far they've been good. They don't come back frozen anymore or explode. If you would like to add time traveler to your resume, I can of course give you a raise."

Not wanting explode or come bak Cheryl quickly shook her head. "No thanks. I think I'll just be your errand girl. No offense."

"None taken. Just remember to not tell anyone. That's all I ask."

Cheryl suddenly wanted to get out of there. Already feeling sad due to Toni's situation she just wanted to go home. "It's late and if you don't mind I'll head home. And don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

A few minutes later Cheryl was riding the subway home. She kept thinking about that ridiculous contraption and how it would probably just blow up half the building.

"Note to self. Be far away when he test's that thing. Like in Australia or the far east. Very far away." Cheryl muttered.

The whole thought of traveling through time seemed absurd. But then again, Cheryl thought, so was marrying a man you don't love.

With that thought in mind, Cheryl rode home.