Pulling Me

Part Forty-Six. Swear It

An itch burned in her throat at the sight of them, her mind swirling with thoughts. It had been weeks since she saw Y/N, or what felt like years. She wasn't sure how to tell exactly how long it had been since the cell she'd been locked away in had no windows or clocks. There was no way to tell other than asking Kate what day it was periodically when she came to visit.

But now, as she stared at the person she loved more than words, she couldn't believe her eyes. They must be playing tricks on her, right? Her legs couldn't carry her to the door quick enough. The inches of glass between them were more torturous than the many days she'd spent alone. All she wanted now was to feel their skin on hers.

"Hi," Y/N finally replied once she made it to them. The tone in their voice was off, but she chalked it up to what happened. There was no way of telling how they felt about her now.

Tears began welling in her eyes as she looked over their body. Everything looked healed from what she could see on them.

"Hi," she choked on her words. "I missed you. How are you feeling?"

They nodded, unsure of how to answer. Their physical self felt fine, but there was a spiritual aching that they couldn't explain, especially not to a stranger. At least, not to someone who felt like a stranger.

Something about Yelena felt like they'd known her before, but couldn't put her face with anyone in their past. Y/N kept their eyes fixated on her face, paying attention to every single little detail in order to figure out who she was. 

Had they known her before they landed in the medbay at the Avengers compound? Nothing aside from their gut feeling could tell if they'd known her or not. Her face was just not registering in the bank of people they'd ever seen and it only made things harder. 

Kate stood beside Y/N, wondering if she should update Yelena on this memory lapse. She was locked in a cell, but she'd already told Kate that she would take Wanda out when she was released. But, as she watched her look at Y/N, how her eyes finally softened for the first time in weeks and she spoke more than a few words, she knew what had to be done.

"I have some news for you," she choked on her words as they came out, terrified of how she was going to react.

Yelena looked up still smiling from her gaze at Y/N, "What's that?"

She looked down at Y/N, who had already been looking up at her. They nodded, encouraging her to explain what was going on. Kate could tell that she'd been right, Y/N was able to figure out that this blockage was about Yelena.

"The night you were taken over by the serum," Yelena's eyes twitched a bit at the talk of this in front of Y/N, but she continued listening. "Bruce and Wanda took them back to the medbay in order to save them. Clearly, they're alive and well but there is one thing that is concerning us."

Yelena's head tilted, dropping to look over Y/N's body. If they were physically okay, she couldn't imagine what else there would be to be worried about. Psychologically, trauma? That could be it, but she couldn't imagine that would mean bringing the traumatized individual to the person who tried to kill them.

She tried ruling other things out but couldn't come up with what she might be talking about, "What're you worried about?" She looked between the two of them, hoping for some answer.

Kate's throat cleared, as she tried speaking but stopped abruptly when Y/N's hand grabbed hers. They smiled up at her, comforting her in this conversation that was about to tear apart someone that they both truly cared for. 

"Wanda put a block in Y/N's brain when she was sewing up their wounds. We're not sure how she did it. Bruce said he hadn't seen anything whatsoever, but we know it's there... and we know it was put in place to forget you."

Yelena's eyes glossed over as she tried to process what Kate had just said. She looked down at Y/N in their wheelchair, finally noticing what had been off about them. They didn't remember her, they had no clue who she was, they'd lost all their memories between them.

No matter how sweetly Y/N tried looking at her, she couldn't unsee that look in their eyes. They don't know her, they don't know what they've been through, they don't remember their first kiss or their night out together. 

It was only a matter of seconds before Yelena's breathing started picking up. It had been months since she had her last panic attack, just shortly after she found out Nat passed during the war. Now, it was kicking in harder than ever.

She'd now lost the two people who'd ever really seen her, who'd ever really loved her no matter what. The person sitting in front of her now was just a stranger once again and she was truly convinced that her heart was cracking in half in her chest with the pain she was feeling.

Before she knew it, she was on her knees, chest heaving as she sobbed. There was no good reason for this, no good reason for Wanda to do this to her.

Yes, she'd stabbed them but that wasn't her. Everyone at the compound knew about Natasha and her past, why was she different? Because of the path she chose after she left the Red Room? There was no choice for her if she wanted to live. Her childhood had been taken from her and the only way she knew how to make money was through contracting the way she had.

But she swore to whoever lived above them, to whoever controlled the world and decided their fates, that she would never go back to that life. If they restored Y/N's memory, she would live on the street for the rest of her life if it meant getting them back. She knew that Y/N knew her heart, that they knew she loved them.

It tore Kate apart watching her like this, but even worse when she looked down at Y/N. Silent tears were streaming down their face as they watched the woman they'd just met fall apart in front of them. The tie between them was much more than just the memories they had, it ran so much deeper than she could've ever imagined. 

Stephen would fix this when he returned, she assured herself. Whatever he was doing, wherever he was going, she knew he had to know what would break the blockage. It was the only thing that gave her hope at this point because if she lost that hope she wasn't sure anyone else would have enough to keep Yelena alive.