Be mine? Derek Hale

8%

season 2 episode 1

It's been a while since Peter died and Derek became alpha. So far not much has changed, Derek doesn't live in his 's'more gone wrong' house anymore instead he's staying at an abandoned train station. So much for a new place. I haven't really spoken to him since the night Peter died, for obvious reasons. I feel like I made things awkward between us. Derek and I were friends and it was easy then. He'd sneak into my house for god knows what new reason and I'd yell at him for causing trouble but ever since that night it's been different. More personal. I haven't been able to get him off my mind for the longest time and it's fathomly frustrating. Everywhere I go, I see Derek. Even in the tiniest of things. When I use the restroom, I think of that vivid dream I'd had of him, when I go on walks all I can see is him and I talking under a tree, when I go to school I'm brought back to the night Peter attacked us all and I helped Derek, whenever I take Stiles' jeep I see Derek in the front seat and me holding his injured arm up for him, when we're on the fields practicing, all I see are Derek's green eyes staring into my own, deeply. I can't get him out of my head no matter how hard I try to think of anything else. 

That's not the only strange thing happening to me though. I haven't really told anyone and it's part of the reason I'm avoiding Derek but I think something's happening to my werewolf senses.  I've tried turning like Derek taught me but I'm feeling weak every time. This all started ever since I got sick. That dream I had where Derek.....you know, killed me? I'm starting to think it meant something, that it was a sign. Whether it was a warning or a bearing of good news, I can't tell. I've told Stiles about this and made him promise not to tell anyone, including Scott. He says it's probably nothing but my intuition tells me otherwise. I'm hoping that after the full moon I feel better, normal. 

Anyways, enough about me. Stiles has spent the last few days in the hospital with Lydia who got admitted after I called for an ambulance. The doctors can't really figure out what's wrong which I don't blame them for, it's supernatural afterall. The thing is, Lydia isn't healing meaning she isn't a werewolf. I'm pretty sure Peter had said that you either turn or....die. I can't imagine what Stiles must be going through. Since I volunteer a lot, I've gotten to talk to him but mostly I just send him some food and stay at home. Jackson has been acting strange too. He isn't his usual 'asshole' self, infact he's behaving quite secretive and alone. I figure he's just a hormonal teenager trying to find out what he's doing with his life but it's still weird.

It's around 5pm and I'm laying on my bed reading an old guide I had as a child on mythical creatures and such. I remember my mum reading me a page every night till I fell asleep. The day she died, it felt like my soul had been sucked out my body. Stiles was only 10 and my dad had gotten into drinking and staying up late. I would stay with Stiles every night, every time he had a panic attack, every time he cried, I was always there with him and he was always there with me. I'd take my intoxicated dad to bed every night, I'd cook for all of us, clean up after everyone, I had to be there for them, just like mum was. Mum loved cooking, she would make all sorts of things and I picked up some of the recipes I know today, from her. I tried making our house feel as much as home as it would when she was around. In a way, mum's death brought us all closer as a family and I couldn't be more grateful for Stiles and my dad. I didn't notice the soft tears falling on the pages of my book. I never really cried over mum, even when she died. Mostly because I couldn't, I had to keep up my composure for Stiles, let him know everything was gonna be fine even if I thought it wasn't. I wiped my eyes with the sleeves of my black 'Harry Potter' shirt and looked up only to find Derek at my vanity. His face had a worried look rested on it, and his eyes were soft and shined in the dim lights I had on. He had a box of ice cream in his hands. Salted Caramel. I sniffled, signalling him to sit with me.

"Are you okay?"

"What're you doing here?" We both said at the same time and I chuckled.

"You brought ice cream" I said, looking into his eyes which crinkled as he slightly smiled.