The Truth

Lexa opened her eyes slowly, in order to get used to the sunlight that filtered through the curtains. She turned on her left and smiled. Clarke was still asleep, snoring softly, her blonde hair cutely framing her face. It was a month since they had started dating and Lexa had never been happier. Not since that damn night six months earlier. She sighed. She knew she should have told Clarke about that sooner or later, but she didn't want to. It was too painful and scary. She was aware of the fact that the truth would have changed their relationship forever. What if Clarke would have left her? She didn't want to lose her. She didn't want to lose anyone else.

"What are you thinking about?" Clarke suddenly croaked, still sleepy. She turned facing her girlfriend, smiling at her. Lexa could sense her heart racing more and more and faked a smile, pretending it was all right.

"Nothing, just that I am so lucky to have met you last month." she said. Clarke bit her own lip and leaned in, tenderly kissing her. Lexa lost herself in that kiss. She needed Clarke, she was an anchor, her water in the desert. The two had met a Friday night, at a pub. Both Lexa and Clarke didn't want to go out that night, but their friends had practically forced them to go there. Lexa was boringly drinking when Clarke had slipped and bumped into her, causing all the wine to be poured on her poor dress. Normally, the brunette would have been so mad, but when she had looked at the blonde into her blue eyes, something had clicked in her. They had started chatting and found out they had a lot of common friends, such as Octavia, Anya, Lexa's sister, and Raven, Clarke's best friend. They both had never felt such a strong connection to another human being in their entire life. For a moment, Lexa had thought that Clarke was just a mirage, she was too ethereal to be real. When she had realized that the blonde wasn't just a product of her imagination, she had felt so scared. She was so messed up and she couldn't let anyone get close. Love was weakness and she didn't want to be weak again. She couldn't afford it. Not after thad damn night. That was why she had rejected so many women in those past months. But Clarke, she was different. And so, she had surrendered to her feelings, trying to ignore all her fears and worries.

"I am the lucky one." Clarke whispered, nibbling her neck. "But seriously, what's up? You look concerned, almost scared. Don't try to lie to me, I know you, Lexa.". No, you don't, the brunette thought. And it's all my fault. She took a deep breath and sat up. Maybe she should have talked. The more you hide this to her, the more you risk to lose her when she finds out the the truth, that is what Anya and Raven kept telling her. And she knew that they were right, but she was so scared. She ran a hand through her hair, not knowing what to do.

"Lex, you're scaring me." Clarke said, really worried. Her blue eyes were so full of concern and that gaze was almost painful. Lexa sighed. She had no choice. She couldn't lie anymore, it was so clear that something was wrong.

"Clarke, I... I haven't been entirely honest with you." she started. The blonde was holding her breath and only in that moment did Lexa realize what she must have been thinking.

"No, not in that sense, Clarke. There's no one else, I swear. Not in the way you may think, at least.". Clarke frowned, more and more confused.

"Okay Lex, you lost me." she said. "Can you explain me what's going on?". Lexa was shaking as a leaf. She had never been more scared in her life.

"I..."

"Lex, we're home!". The brunette jolted. Raven. It wasn't possible, it was too early.

"What? Why is she here?" Clarke asked, recognizing her best friend's voice. Lexa swallowed hard. She opened her mouth in order to answer, but no words came out.

"Lex, why aren't you... Oh.". Clarke couldn't believe her own eyes. Raven was there, in front of them, a tiny blonde baby between her arms. He was asleep, all snuggled up against the Latina's chest.