Shakespeare's Plan

9. 'will. i'm so sorry'

⦿ Self Harm and Attempts of Suicide are Mentioned in This Chapter ⦿

Thoughts of Ares filled my head all night.

Were drunk words really sober thoughts?

"I want to kiss you."

"I don't know if you can tell. But I'm very drunk Sunshine."

His voice rang out in my head. I rolled over, looking out the window. The sun was just rising. The sky was beautiful shades of pink, orange and yellow. The sunshine starting to show.

Sunshine.

"I'm very drunk Sunshine." 

Dear Lord. What was happening? I couldn't have feelings for him, could I?

"I think you really want me to talk to you."

"And touch you."

"Maybe even kiss you." 

I blushed deeply. Butterflies in my stomach. Yes. Yes I could.

A groan escaped me. I sat up as my stomach growled. I felt my mood deflate. The last thing I ate was lunch yesterday with Ares. I stretched, a soft moan escaping my lips as my back gently cracked.

I stood up, and made my way downstairs. I opened the fridge. I shut the fridge, placing my head against the cool metal of the handles. 

"Your father is disgusted with you. That's why he's never here. He can't stand to look at you. Your so fat, and ugly that your own father can't stand to be around you. What is wrong with you? Yet here you are, eating a fucking taco." Kary slammed her hand down on the table.

I felt my stomach drop. Was it really my fault that he was never here? Was I that fat? That disgusting?

"Come here." She roughly grabbed my arm, before dragging me up stairs. She shoved me into the bathroom. I looked at her.

"Don't give me that look. Step on the scale." I gently stepped on the scale.

The numbers '110.3' blinked back at me. Kary scoffed.

"110. Jesus fucking Christ. Look at yourself." She grabbed me and shoved me in front of the mirror. My gaze stayed on the floor.

"Look at yourself. Fucking disgusting. No one will want you. Your fucking repulsive." 

"Will?" I looked up to see Killian standing at the entry of the kitchen. Worry etched onto his face. I wiped my tears. Great, my problems woke him up. Way to go Will. I am repulsive.

"Hey. Sorry if I woke you." I walked past him. He gently gripped my wrist.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" He looked at my face. I looked down.

"Im fine. Again I'm sorry if I woke you." I stepped back, and headed towards the stairs. I wiped the tears falling down my face. 

"Willow." I turned around. Killian stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"You can talk to me. I'm right across the hall." I shook my head. I can't worry him with my problems.

"I'm fine. I don't want to bother you with my problems." I went to turn back around. 

"Will..." I headed towards my room. I shut my door. 

I let out a sob, sliding down the door. 

"How can you even look at yourself? How can you look at yourself and tell your self that you are worth living?" She laughed. "Your own father can't even look at you. Your such a burden that your father won't come home. Yet you still look at yourself and think you should live? Fucking disgusting."