I'm Not Ok!!

Chapter 2

Holy shit.

She walked in. Annie walked in. How the hell do I say hello to her? Do I be friendly? Flirty? Do I say something first? Do I wait? What do I do-

"Uh, hello Miles. Good to see you."

Shit, I was staring again. Annie said hi to me. The words roll off her tongue, sounding smooth and collected. Very unlike me. I mutter a quick "Hello" back and turn around to start restocking the snack shelf. She goes up behind the counter, and starts counting the money in the register. I keep sneaking glances at her. She's so beautiful...

I need to ask her for her number. Tonight will be the night that I will no longer be a fucking lonely ass motherfucker. I will have her number. Annie shoots this at me from across the room. "Sooo...anything you wanna talk about?" This is my chance.

"Umm... Not exactly. I just didn't expect to see uh, well, YOU here. You know, out of all people, she would be here-"

Annie cuts me off. "They."

"Eh?"

"They. I don't use she." They point to a pin on their shirt. It has "They/zir" on it. Fuck! All this time I've been using the wrong shit to refer to them? How stupid are you, Miles? You could've avoided that shit months ago! I stutter back a measly "sorry.." but thankfully, zey take it lightly. And ask me for mine. Usually, I don't tell people my pronouns. Nor do they ask. They just look at my tits and automatically use "she". I think that's what I did with Annie. I'm so used to it, plus, my family is homophobic and transphobic, so ANY mention of something like that will make me even more of a disappointment. I tell Annie, "She/they fits fine..." I still feel the shame of my mistake slide down my back, like sweat on a hot summer day.

We get back to doing our jobs, and make some small talk while doing so. It's late now, around 10 pm, so there aren't any customers. I learn a bit about Annie, they're 21 years old, live in a small apartment complex (in WALKING distance of mine!) they live alone, and attend an online college. They're always helping back home, so online college sounds better, and the cashier job was the only one in moderate driving distance that could pay the bills. Zey sound MUCH better off than me, but who knows.

———

Time to go home soon, but still no number asking. I'm just about to give up. Sure, there's a little hope, but it's not like we've CONNECTED. They probably only talk to me because they don't have anyone else. I wouldn't be surprised. I mean, I'm not THAT likable. I'm only using tips I got off the internet, anyways. I finish up my stocking, check off everything on my list, and get ready to go home. Me and Annie talk a little longer, and we learn how late it is. Almost 4 am! You know, I hate overtime, but this is one of the best experiences I've had!

Although I look Annie in the eyes, I can't get my mind off zir body. I've come to learn that they have a sexy curve in their hip, and a curly, bouncy hair style that looks soft and nice. I would never touch it though, not without their permission. I couldn't bare it if I were to overstep their boundaries and zey would not trust me again. I would cry, even. I want to just eye them up and down, looking at every curve. If they have any insecurities, I want to kiss them away. I want to love, I mean, LOVE them. I could just listen to zir talk. All. Fucking. Day.

———

Me and them get ready to go and we both grab our shit and head out the door. Shit. I didn't get the number, but to be honest, I probably didn't even have a chance, but before I part way, they stop me.

"It was nice talking with you, Miles. I hope we can do it more often." They shake my hand. Odd, but ok. I look down at my hand, thinking about sealing it and her scent away forever, when I suddenly blush.

Let's just say, I got into my car, smiling like a fucking idiot, with a note that says, "Call me cutie!" with a number on it.

Am I dreaming?