I'm Not Ok!!

Chapter 3

Tw: suicide mention near end

I need to find a way to start the conversation.

What would I even say, to the most beautiful person I have ever seen? Not to mention, THEY gave me THEIR number. I feel like I might cry. Tears of joy. I wasn't able to stream last night, but god, how could you? If you were to meet someone that pretty, would you not ignore everything else to talk to them?

I hope this is good enough. I need this to work.

———

+Miles+
Hey, this is Annie, right? I just wanted to say thanks for your number. I appreciate it :)

Aaaa! No!! That's too sweet! Remember, they dont know you Miles!

Oh well I can't delete it now. They're already typing.

Annie <3
Oh no it's totally cool! You seemed like a fun person to talk to, so I did it.

Annie <3
Also sorry for the flirty card, I think I was coming on too fast 😅

+Miles+
No, it's ok! I'm cool with it :)

I really wish I could say more than that. But I don't think zir calling me cutie is the same as wanting what I think of-

Nevermind. I should fucking stop thinking that.

Annie <3
It was really nice talking to you last night. I don't usually get to talk about stuff like that with people. I appreciate that you listened. :)

Annie <3
Also, you were the first coworker that respected my pronouns and shit. I usually get no change. I literally once had a coworker say that I look like a sexy woman, so I'm a girl all over. Can you believe that shit?

Annie <3
Shit sorry if I ranted there for a sec. It happens a lot 😓

I would listen to them talk allllll day if I could.
Does this count as a unnecessary obsession now?

...I havent stalked them yet...so I would say no...but then again, I don't know their socials. Oh wait!

+Miles+
Sorry if this seems weird, but do u have any other social media? In case we can't text 😖

Annie <3
OH OFC!
Insta: Annie2001 Twt: Annieeetrree Twitch: AnnietheCroc Sorry i don't have much I'm not that active on social media😭

They...have twitch?

———

Sooo...I made at least 10 google searches.

Apparently, Annie doesn't stream, but they do play a lot of the games I do. I also looked at their insta. Not too bad, I haven't seen any sign of a partner, and they've specified in those photos that was their brother. I don't use twitter often, it's filled with bs, but I looked at their account there. Basically the same as insta, just less pics.

And obviously, I followed all three accounts. Well, two. I don't use twitter or insta AT ALL, but twitch is literally my drug. If they find out the shit I stream there, they would never talk to me again. I would be alone forever. They can't ever know, not until I know zir won't judge. I wonder if they know I'm even on these apps.

———

A miracle happened. I got motivated to clean my damn sheets and stream a video. After I finish, I look around my room.

...This has been happening for MONTHS. I don't think this is normal anymore really. My house has been a mess. I haven't been streaming frequently.

...Do I need therapy? Fuck, even if I did, it's not like I could AFFORD IT. I hate it here. I really do wish I could kill myself.

No. Not until I fulfill my wish. I need to ask them out.